


Figurehead Queen

by Excaliburstark



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Canon Era, Dragonlord Merlin (Merlin), Druids, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Letters, Light Angst, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, Pagan Festivals, Prophecy, Sex Magic, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, The Old Religion (Merlin), Wedding, dragon daddies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:09:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 57,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26083969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Excaliburstark/pseuds/Excaliburstark
Summary: Arthur only has room in his heart for one love but that love is as unattainable as the stars. Warned by a group of passing druids that if he is not wed by Beltane's eve, he is in danger of certain death and the collapse of his kingdom. Arthur cannot bring himself to stray from his true feelings and marry another.Can he force himself to remarry or will Arthur defy fate and wither before his time?
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 59
Kudos: 310
Collections: After Camlann Big Bang





	1. Yuletide, December

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [ACBB art](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/674515) by Jimothytkirk. 



> This is my first ACBB and my first fic that's over 20k and oh boy it has been a process.
> 
> To Keeperofstories: This story has changed a lot since the first write up (and thank goodness!) It would be a lesser version without your insightful thoughts, careful considerations and keen eye for consistency. I can't thank you enough for your patience and thoroughness in editing my many drafts, you are a star!
> 
> To Emma: You gave this story direction where it was lacking and you reminded me of the love story I'd intended to tell. Thank you
> 
> To jimothytkirk: You are insanely talented, the artwork is absolutely beautiful. You went above and beyond for this fic, taking the time to edit it and discuss it with me. A million thanks! 
> 
> Thank you to the mods for running this awesome fest and also for Surreal-static (on tumblr) for the Consort outfit. Thank you to aoi for helping me add the art to the fic and to everyone in the chats, who have been supportive and kept me going when I wanted to quit. I'm so grateful x
> 
> On with the fic. Enjoy!

YULETIDE, DECEMBER 

The Great Hall was lined with rich tapestries; gilded candelabras shone in the drafty hall, emanating a warm glow. Food was piled high on the long tables, platters bearing cut meats and fine cheeses were abundant. Bowls were filled with fruit, bunches of grapes as large as fists hung jubilant and tempting, dripping over the lip of the fruit bowl. Poached pears made nobles’ mouths water and servants’ hands stray. 

Minstrels played lightly in the background as the yule log blazed. Almost two years had trickled by since Queen Guinevere's death and the bright light seemed a stark contrast to the darkened rooms that had shadowed the castle after the devastating loss. This was one of the first successful and truly happy events that had occurred in Camelot since her passing. 

Camelot had been war ravished and riddled with grief, the battle of Camlann had followed shortly after Gwen's demise. The king's anguish and the people's suffering had been inescapable. It had been a struggle, in the face of all they had lost, for nobles and peasants alike to find any spark of joy. 

The previous yuletide had been a solemn, miserable affair. Arthur had sat stooped, a lone, distinguished figure in black at the head of the table. The empty chair next to him was all anyone could look at; no one was able to face Arthur, not even Merlin. The feast had been frugal as supplies had been sparse since Camlann. Camelot had been one of many kingdoms that had struggled to feed their people after the war. The walls had been bare, the draft had been relentless and magnified the already cold atmosphere.

The current celebrations were a sharp change; the shadowy hall had been transformed into a world of splendour, the hearth spread warmth and light, the tapestries showcased how Camelot had changed, how it was proud of its success rather than lingering on its losses. The woven art had been hung high on the wall, detailing the victory at Camlann and other threats Camelot had conquered. Some celebrated the peace, showing smiling faces and harvest pictures. 

The low hum of conversation and the clinking of glasses continued late into the evening. The sky had just started to darken when the large oak doors opened once more. A trumpet sounded and a group of six druids entered. They stayed close to the door, a tightly knit group as they kept their distance from everyone else in the hall.

At the sudden appearance of these unexpected guests, King Arthur rose, his manservant stood close behind him. The knights watched, wary. 

"We were not expecting you," Arthur paused. "But it's a pleasure to have you. Please, join the festivities." 

Arthur's hand swept to the banquet before them in a welcoming manner. 

"We're not here to break bread, Once and Future King," the druid leader spoke, his voice deep and earthy. The knights straightened in their seats and reached for their weapons. Arthur could feel Merlin tense behind him, drawing himself up. 

Arthur held up a staying hand towards his knights, who begrudgingly remained in their positions. 

"Then what are you here for?" He asked.

"To warn you. If you do not wed by Beltane's passing, you will put yourself in grave danger." 

"Is that a threat?" Gwaine said, moving to his feet. The noise of the chair scraping back echoed throughout the hall. 

The druid shook his head. "We come here in peace. One of our seers was given a vision, a message, from Dagda. Camelot has experienced great turmoil in these past 33 years. The Old Religion demands a cleansing ceremony to recover from all the death and devastation. The gods want a new beginning. A marriage will satisfy the cleansing ritual requirements. If it is not done before Beltane, you and your kingdom will perish." 

The Great Hall was silent as everyone soaked up this information, the idle chatter had run dry at the druid's ominous tone. 

"We thought to warn you, out of duty to Emrys. That is all." The druid bowed, though both Arthur and Merlin knew it was not intended for the king of Camelot. 

Very few people knew of Merlin's magic and only Arthur knew his other name. The knights, who had seen Merlin’s feats at the battle of Camlann, had promised their silence and the council had been forced to keep theirs. Merlin had requested that his powers remain a secret from the public and neighboring kingdoms.

Merlin remained stoic faced, not revealing anything. The druids turned and left swiftly, their hoods pulled back up. A sense of unease lingered with their exit. 

"Sire?" Leon questioned. Arthur slumped, his hands raked through his hair nervously before he remembered his audience. Merlin moved closer, a bolstering presence.

Arthur looked to Leon.

"What would you have us do, my lord?" 

"Celebrate," Arthur said and raised a nearby chalice. He addressed the room, "To a new beginning." 

&&&&&

The shrouds of grief had slipped from Arthur slowly, trickling off him like water as seasons bloomed and shriveled and bloomed again after Gwen's passing. The news of Arthur needing to marry heralded a new era for the kingdom, a second chance, yet a dullness surrounded Arthur.

After the feast, Arthur sat on the edge of his bed staring blankly, absentmindedly twisting his wedding ring. Vacancy was seeping into him, reminiscent of the melancholy that had seized him for so many of the previous months. The idea of marrying again had hollowed him out. 

He was so deeply immersed in his thoughts that he didn't hear Merlin enter.

He startled when he realised Merlin was stood before him, a caring but anxious look in his blue eyes. 

"How are you feeling?" Merlin murmured. 

Arthur sighed and flopped back onto the duvet, his feet dangled over the edge and his eyes traced the canopy above him. "Never better." 

Merlin stayed standing. He cut straight to the point. "What are you going to do?" 

"Marry, I suppose," Arthur sighed. "I have little choice. The druids could always be lying-" Arthur started to say but at Merlin's sharp look, he let the sentence fade. 

"I trust you, Merlin, you know I do but that doesn't make all magic users or all worshippers of the Old Religion trustworthy. As we both know." Arthur had a far away expression as he thought back to his wife's death. 

"I think they're telling the truth," Merlin said, voice low. 

Arthur nodded and clasped his hands behind his head, his fingers interlaced. "If only they weren't." 

"You don't wish to marry?" Merlin questioned, still dawdling at the end of the bed. 

Arthur pushed himself up onto his elbows briefly, looking at the space next to him. "You can sit, you know." 

Merlin eyed the edge of the bed but decided against it. 

"I've not considered marriage since…" He paused. "I don't want to remarry," Arthur said, sounding distressed.

Merlin leant against the bedpost, sympathy softening his eyes. "But you have to." 

"Would it be so bad if I didn't?" Arthur said it as a whisper, his eyes closed. He knew it would be. It wasn't just his life but his people's that depended on a marriage. 

"Yes. It would be terrible,” Merlin said gently but with conviction. “Arthur, I know Gwen's death was hard on you. I wish I could’ve...I mean- I'm sorry, and I understand but you can't keep your heart closed forever."

"It isn't," Arthur replied, tilting his head to look at Merlin.

"So, you'll allow the council to arrange a marriage for you?" 

"No,” Arthur said slowly, considering. “ I shall search for a bride myself. I don't want to be forced on someone. Whoever I marry must know the situation, know that I can never truly love them. It'll be a marriage in name only." 

Merlin was oddly quiet but decided not to press any further. "Yes, sire." He rose. Arthur didn't ask him to stay to undress him or to draw him a bath, he didn't question the seriousness in Merlin’s voice as he addressed Arthur by his proper title. 

Arthur rolled over and tried to forget today, just like he did with every other day. He pressed his face into the pillow. 

"Mithian is obviously the best option. Her father is a powerful man who owns a significant amount of land in the East. The match would greatly benefit Camelot," a noble with a crooked nose but otherwise pleasant countenance said. 

He was overlapped by numerous others:

"Elena would be better, her father was willing to give us access to the sea and discounted grain and fish in the previous arrangement-"

"That was the previous arrangement. After last time’s incident, he may not be so-"

"Forget Elena, Vivian is clearly the best choice. The two were smitten on her last visit and I'm sure we could bend her father to agree to an arrangement," another interjected. 

Arthur was leaning back in his chair, not really paying attention. He let the conversation wash over him. The nobles had been at it all morning, picking out a bride for Arthur without ever actually considering him or his opinions. 

Merlin stayed close enough that every minor movement or muttered sentence was audible to the king. 

So when he mumbled, "Dear god no. Anyone but Vivian," Arthur released an unexpected laugh, loud enough that the nobles finally paid attention to him, ceasing their conversation to see what had amused their king so much. 

Arthur smothered his mirth and cleared his throat. He blinked, trying to avoid the beady gaze of the council. "Continue." 

Merlin bit back a grin and the chatter restarted. Gwaine had been watching them, his eyes darted between the two and he whispered something to Elyan, who furrowed his brow. 

Some time passed before Arthur had finally had enough. He had been happy to let his mind wander whilst the nobles bartered over potential brides but Merlin's comment had brought him back to the present and the issue at hand. He supposed now was as good a time as any to put an end to this meeting. He stood. 

"I don't wish to marry any of the proposed candidates. Mithian was lovely and beautiful, however I refused her the last time she was here. It would seem unkind to pursue her after my slight. Besides, there have been talks of a union between her and Lord Raderly of Cambria." Arthur paused to let that news sink in. 

"Elena is happily engaged to be married to a Persian merchant. We’ve already received an invitation to the wedding and I've agreed to attend. Godwin cares deeply for her happiness, so proposing to Elena is likely to do more harm than good. And Lady Vivian..." He drifted off at the mention of that particular name, the disdain in his voice pulled a smile from Merlin. "Well, I'll just leave it at that." 

The noble that suggested Vivian looked affronted and asked, "Well, if you don't wish to marry a princess, who are you to marry?" 

There was a rippling at that. Looks were cast across the table between the council members. 

"Queen Guinevere was a wonderful and just queen," Arthur said, pointedly. "She more than proved that status means little in matters of rule." 

"I know I will not marry for love, not this time. However, I'd like whoever is to be my wife to find comfort in Camelot and to be a good ruler. I do not care for their position in society but for their ideals," Arthur said. Some of the nobles nodded, whilst others gave sour looks that were quickly hidden behind blank expressions. 

"I will compile a list of suitable candidates, until then this council is adjourned," Arthur concluded, then rose to leave. Merlin followed. 

They walked back to Arthur's chamber in near silence but Arthur could tell Merlin was agitated and had more to say on the subject. 

Arthur sighed and turned to Merlin.

“What is it?” Arthur demanded.

"What if you don't find that?" Merlin worried. "Aren't you being a little optimistic?"

Arthur's eyebrow winged upwards, prompting Merlin to expand his point. 

"There are very few people that would be happy with a loveless marriage," Merlin cautioned. 

Arthur's heart clenched, his mind cast back to Merlin's speech about love and marriage when he was meant to marry Elena. Merlin had always been a romantic, though Arthur couldn't recall a single person Merlin had tried to court. 

"And yet there are so many of them, look at Lady Langley," Arthur reminded him. "Her husband certainly doesn't love her and she doesn't love him but she is still content. Besides, I won’t hide the truth from whomever I choose. They'll know what they're getting into before we marry. Most royalty aren't expected to marry for love. I was so lucky to find Gwen, even if our time together was cut short. I was taught that I would marry for the good of the kingdom, so that's what I'll do. It'll be fine."

Merlin's brow crumpled, his teeth nipped his inner cheek painfully. 

"Now, go fetch my lunch. I'm starved," Arthur said, aiming for playful but his voice was too brittle, the subject too heavy to lighten. 

Merlin's mouth settled to a dissatisfied tilt, his blue eyes stormy as he left in a huff. Arthur half slumped against the wall as soon as Merlin turned the corner, his eyes shuttering. 

After Arthur had eaten his lunch- Merlin sitting next to him the whole time, stealing off his plate with no shame at all whilst Arthur watched with a small smile- a servant knocked on the door.

Merlin swallowed a piece of apple down so fast that when he answered the door, he sounded a little choked. "Hello George." 

"His Majesty is needed in the Council Room. A line up of ladies has been formed." 

"A what?" Merlin exclaimed and received a steely look from George. 

Merlin nodded then shut the door and turned to Arthur, the king’s smile was long gone. Bristling, Arthur stood. Merlin went to grab the plate to clear it away. 

"Leave it," Arthur ordered. "This is more important." 

They made their way down to the council room in solemn silence. Once or twice, Merlin was tempted to hold his hand; he could see how tense and uncomfortable Arthur was, walking as if he was being sent to the executioner's block. 

Merlin's fingers twitched when his hand brushed Arthur's as they walked. He curled them into a fist, his hand remained vigilant at his side.

When they entered the hall, a literal line of ladies awaited Arthur, all displayed as if they were fine trinkets or platters of food. Arthur wasn't hungry and he had no need for baubles. 

Arthur scoffed, called this insulting to both himself and the ladies and turned on his heel, ready to leave. Merlin was surprised his reaction had been so contained. Arthur had been carrying a silent, simmering anger alongside the buzzing anxiety on the way there. 

"Sire, please." The strained, desperate note in Leon's voice made Arthur hesitate. Leon looked at him pleadingly. 

Arthur threw a questioning glance at Leon, then sought Merlin to see if he understood. Merlin shrugged. 

Arthur slowly made his way towards the line up; he felt a little intimidated by the many women before him. He had to pick his future and here lay all the potential paths. All of them were nobles, he noted. Despite Arthur's lack of care for his future bride's status, the council had clearly decided that only nobility would do. 

He started at the beginning of the line. Someone announced their names as he made his way down the line. 

The first lady was a surprise. Her blue eyes seemed innocent but after she curtseyed she kissed his hand lewdly, a salacious grin painted on her face. Arthur shuddered and stifled the urge to jerk his hand away. 

He shuffled along, suffering through numerous curtseys and introductions. It was painful to watch, humiliating on a level Arthur had never felt before. He was used to council members pandering to him but to have a group of noble ladies try and sell themselves to him was close to unbearable. The fact that the council had done all this without his permission made it all the more excruciating- He hadn’t asked for a line up. He was angrier than his countenance suggested. 

The council members were expecting an answer and Arthur needed a wife, for the kingdom's sake if not for his own. And it was for his kingdom’s sake that he ignored his anger and stayed, taking in the little he could learn of each lady as they were introduced to him.

A few of the ladies stuck out in Arthur's mind. He reluctantly made note of them, storing their names away for when he'd inevitably be asked to pick some ladies to court. 

Others were memorable for different reasons; there was a girl who could be no more than twelve and Arthur saw it for the appalling and obvious power grab that it was. The girl's father had clearly offered her up in an attempt to gain more influence. 

There was one girl that kept squinting at Arthur. He didn't know if it was on purpose or if she had trouble seeing. Another wore a very haughty expression on her face. She was, unfortunately, Lord Teith's daughter and unless Arthur wanted to insult one of his most trusted advisors, he would be forced to entertain her, even if only for a short while. 

Arthur cast a look back at the tall woman with athletic arms and long blonde hair, and glanced over a rather frazzled looking girl who had blushed and stumbled her way through a curtsey.

Arthur was getting weary as he neared the end of the line. The last two, Arthur observed, were both quite beautiful.

He stepped back. 

"Thank you for your patience, I shall inform you of my decision in due time." The ladies curtsied once more and left. 

"So, who have you chosen?" Lord Teith asked, not bothering to hide his eagerness.

"Lady Teith, Lady Balworth, Lady Kettering, Lady Renwick, Lady Amartha and Lady Harreth." Arthur knew that at least two of his chosen potential brides were definitely not going to become the next queen of Camelot. He didn't think he needed to tell the council that just yet though. 

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other things to attend to." 

"Sire," Lord Teith called. Arthur withheld a sigh. "Yes?"

"Perhaps you should start now. Lady Teith is waiting outside, why don't you go to the river or for a walk in the snow?" Lord Teith encouraged. A few council members rolled their eyes, whilst others leaned forward in interest.

"Yes, ah, but it is a little late. I'm sure Lady Teith would prefer to walk when the sun is rising rather than as it begins to set," Arthur suggested.

"Oh, the sun is still up. It won't set for at least another candlemark or two," Lord Teith said. 

Arthur mouthed, trying to find words to put together an excuse that wouldn't be so easily thwarted. 

"Although it may be light enough, I'm sure that Lady Teith would find it much too cold to be by the river today." 

"Oh, no. Not at all, sire, she wears some of the finest furs in Camelot. I assure you, she'll be plenty warm enough."

"I-" With so many sets of eyes on him, Arthur gave up. "I suppose she will be, yes. Um, Merlin," Merlin straightened, attentive. "Could you ready the horses?" 

Merlin gave a nod and a reassuring smile. Arthur swore it was a little smug as well, as if he were enjoying this. Arthur glowered back and Merlin hurried off to do as bid. 

As everyone started leaving the hall, Arthur noticed how exhausted Leon looked. Arthur hurried to catch up with him. 

"Leon, are you okay?" He asked. 

With a tired smile, Leon said, "Yes, yes, I'm fine. I've just been running around for the past three hours to get the line up assembled, sire." Ah, that explained Leon pressing the matter earlier. 

"You’re not planning on coming to the river, are you? Perhaps you should get some rest. No use in a tired knight," Arthur commented. Leon looked indecisive. 

Merlin had delegated the task of readying the horses to a different servant. He hopped back up the stairs to where Arthur and Leon were dawdling outside of the doors. 

"God, Leon. You look awful," Merlin said, tactless. 

"Merlin!" Arthur scolded, shooting a sharp look. Leon laughed. 

"Yeah. I think I'll head in." Leon bowed his head and disappeared down the corridor. 

Merlin grinned. Arthur shook his head at him and gently cupped the back of Merlin's head in a caress-smack as they descended the stairs. 

The air was chilled as they rode out, the cold settled over the group, enclosing around them and capturing them in its numbing hold. Lady Teith and Arthur rode at the front of the small party. Arthur had brought Merlin and a handful of knights to suffer the brunt of the weather with him. 

Merlin wondered how long it would take the knights to forgive Arthur for inflicting this on them. 

The grass was frosted and the red cloaks of Camelot were stark against the pristine landscape. While the knights were grumbling, Merlin was secretly pleased as he loved the snow; it turned Camelot into an icy wonderland. The cold was another matter, however. The wind blew bitterly and Lord Teith was quickly proved wrong, they were all cold. 

Even Lady Teith, swaddled as she was in her fur-lined cloak with the hood pulled up to frame her face, felt the chill. Her skin was the same raw red that bloomed on all their faces. The icy air nipped at them and the wind had picked up. It was turning out to be a much more blustery evening than imagined. 

Merlin fared the worst. He looked on enviously at the knights riding in front of him, who were wearing warm gloves and thick cloaks. Though they all suffered, Merlin was the only one shivering. His teeth gnashed together violently, they chattered loudly and his lips were chapped. His bare hands gripped onto the reins and his cheeks flamed red from the low temperature. 

They had been riding like this for at least half an hour when Lady Teith finally crossed the line.

"Arthur?" Lady Teith began in a coquettishly sweet voice.

"Yes, my lady," Arthur replied.

"Could you send your manservant back?" Arthur balked. Lady Teith had made one or two comments that Arthur thought were unlike her but this one was not so easily ignored. 

"May I ask why?" Arthur didn't hide his incredulity very well. The knights seemed annoyed and amused in equal parts at the exchange. 

"His teeth are chattering and it’s giving me a headache," she explained, gloved hand fluttering to her temple briefly as she spoke. 

At long last, the group deigned to look at Merlin, who had lagged behind a bit. He couldn't help the occasional shudder, though he tried his hardest not to show it. 

"Gods, Merlin! Why didn't you say something?" Arthur exclaimed.

Merlin just shook his head. 

The knights raised their eyebrows. Seeing their looks, Arthur swiftly added, "Buck up, Merlin, it's not that cold." 

Some knights gave exasperated sighs and others hid smirks. 

Gwaine reached around and unclasped his cloak. He wrapped it around Merlin. 

"N-No. I'm fine," Merlin stuttered, however his frozen fingers seemed unable to push the cloak off. Gwaine yanked on the ties firmly and clasped it, then nodded for the group to continue. 

The wind continued to howl and whip at them. If it were possible, they grew redder. Arthur wondered how he'd agreed to this. Drippy noses and being half frozen wasn't ideal when trying to woo someone. 

The snow was getting picked up by the wild, windy torrent they seemed to have rode straight into; it flew up thick, white, and cold. It was so dense, it blocked their view. Arthur struggled to see where the others were, only catching brief glimpses of a red cloak that fluttered every now and then. He could see nothing of Lady Teith. 

Arthur could tell someone was talking but he hadn't a clue what they were saying. 

"What?" He shouted, his voice snatched by the wind. 

"Maybe we should go back," the voice repeated, a little louder this time. 

"I'm sure it'll die down soon," Arthur replied, half smothered by snow. 

"What?" 

"I said I'm sure it'll die down soon," Arthur yelled. "We just need to keep going," he added. 

"What?" 

Arthur sighed. 

The conversation continued like that, repeated sentences and loud calls until the bizarre blizzard cleared just as they finally reached the river and dismounted. Arthur was surprised none of them had icicles hanging from their noses. 

He assessed everyone and was happy to find them all present and in reasonable shape. He told them to go ahead to the clearing and hung back to check on Merlin. 

Merlin had busied himself by tying up the horses, Arthur could see he had stopped shivering. Merlin had insisted on giving a reluctant Gwaine his cloak back and though the air was slowly leeching the warmth back out of his threadbare clothes, Merlin didn't fumble with the rope. He had been very grateful for the cloak during the worst of the wind. 

Gwaine had been fine. Not many people could say they survived a blizzard with so little clothing. Merlin sometimes wondered what Gwaine was made out of, he wasn't sure he wanted to know. It probably involved a dizzying amount of alcohol. 

Since the river was a few yards off from the protected clearing where Lady Teith and the knights had rushed off to, Arthur took the chance to talk to Merlin alone. 

"You alright?" He asked, not looking at Merlin.

"Yeah." Merlin tugged at the rope, ensuring it was tight enough. 

"What do you think of Lady Teith?" Arthur asked. 

Merlin pulled a face. 

Arthur chuckled, taking that as his answer. Merlin clattered around, adjusting the horse blankets and checking the stirrups. 

"Come on," Arthur called. They slowly made their way over to rejoin the knights and Lady Teith in a companionable silence which was quickly shattered. 

"Arthur!" Lady Teith trilled when he was only a few paces away. She proceeded to drag Arthur to her side. She didn't wait for Arthur to offer his arm, instead choosing to sidle close and loop her own arm through his, locking Arthur against her. 

Arthur glanced back at Merlin with alarm. Lady Teith saw this and pressed closer. 

Merlin just grinned as Lady Teith dragged a hesitant Arthur on a stroll. The two struggled through a carpet of snow that was soon indented with their footsteps, it seemed to act as a measure of patience, stretching further and further as they continued their walk. Arthur's tolerance thinned as Lady Teith rattled off idle comments. 

Lady Teith had always seemed a pleasant lady before now. Arthur recalled many a conversation with her where she hadn't been nearly so crass. Her bragging and inflated arrogance was bad enough but her comments on the improvements she'd make when she inevitably became Queen were enough to keep anyone from her company. 

She was in the middle of a tirade about abolishing servant holidays when a snowball came flying towards her. It splattered over the shoulder of her cloak, she stopped mid-sentence to look down at it. Her head whipped over to find the guilty offender. 

Gwaine looked sheepish. 

"My lady, you may need to vacate to somewhere safer. I have to avenge your honour," Arthur told her as he crouched down, balling up some snow. 

She seemed happy to oblige and Arthur, too busy constructing his own snowball, completely missed the secret, pleased smile that briefly escaped Lady Teith as she saw how eager he was to separate himself from her.

Arthur launched his snowball at Gwaine, hitting him perfectly between the eyes. 

"Oi!" Gwaine shouted, shaking snow from his hair and face before throwing some pre-made snowballs back at him. 

Arthur was laughing and actually starting to enjoy the outing. Lady Teith had moved over to the side to watch. 

Gwaine was bombarded with snowballs as the others joined in. The knights split into two teams, Arthur's team had worked up a strategy of timing their hits so they had cover whilst they made more snowballs. Gwaine's team soon copied. 

The snowball fight didn't last long, icy fingers and wet feet had shortened the fun. 

Arthur saw Merlin at the sidelines grinning from ear to ear. He glowed, beaming as Arthur approached him. The other knights were brushing snow off themselves on the other side of the clearing. Merlin opened his mouth to speak. 

"I think it's time to return home," Lady Teith interrupted, cutting between them. She was cold and bored and didn't enjoy walks. She had no idea why her father had suggested a riverwalk in December.

Arthur agreed. The knights were tired and the light was fading. The snow from the fight had melted to icy water and clung to the knights’ chainmail. 

They headed back to the horses, jovially shoving at one another with Lady Teith trailing behind before they set off for Camelot. 

Lady Teith's senseless commentary had dried up, making the ride back a pleasant and quiet one, something that everyone breathed a sigh of relief over. 

As soon as they hit the cobbles of the castle’s courtyard, Lady Teith left without so much as a 'goodnight.' She handed her horse over to the stable boy and hopped up the steps without a backward glance. 

Merlin and Arthur shared a look as they watched her go before taking their horses into the stable. Merlin stroked Llamrei's nose and promised to bring an apple next time. 

Once Hengroen and Llamrei were comfortably settled, Merlin and Arthur went straight to Arthur's chambers, happy that the ordeal was over. As soon as the door shut behind them, Merlin's patience burst and he vocalised his dislike of Lady Teith. It was clear from his speech that he had been silently seething the whole way back to Camelot. 

The blizzard had sapped Arthur's energy from him, he moved to sit in his favourite high-backed chair as Merlin ranted. He had much to complain about but above all, Merlin had overheard what Lady Teith had said about servant holidays and was incensed. They had little enough time for themselves as it was and he railed at Arthur about the injustice of the idea, citing that one of the serving girls only took Yuletide off despite having to care for four younger siblings. 

"You can't marry her," Merlin finally finished, turning to Arthur, a hint of distress bleeding into his voice. 

"No," Arthur sighed, palm knocking the table as he removed his hand from under his weary head. "However, telling Lord Teith is a task I'd like to delay for as long as possible." 

Merlin pursed his mouth and harrumphed, clearly unsatisfied with Arthur's response.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&

The next day Arthur was greeted by an unwanted surprise. It seemed the council were keen on wedding Arthur off as soon as possible. They had arranged yet another date for him, despite his wish to find his future partner on his own terms. 

It was a rare opportunity for the council to be able to exercise such power over the king; they had Arthur in a strong hold and they knew it. 

Lady Harreth had been invited to dine with Arthur at the banquet being held that evening and Lady Harreth had accepted. Arthur could hardly un-invite her. 

He fumed, griping at the council's audacity. 

"Lady Harreth seemed quite nice," Merlin said as way of reassurance. "Let's face it, after Lady Teith, anyone would be an improvement." 

Arthur snorted uncouthly, a smile tugging at his mouth. It soon flattened.

"Still, I wish the council had asked for my opinion. I'm the one that has to marry one of them. This should be my choice," Arthur frowned. 

"Maybe you should tell them that," Merlin suggested. 

Arthur hummed in agreement. 

"However you have some feudal issues to deal with first," Merlin reminded him lightly. Arthur groaned. 

Petition day was his least favourite of his royal duties. It was time-consuming and repetitive, leaving no opportunity to get to the practice field. He judged over at least five cases involving pig ownership and three relating to wheat. It was all incredibly mundane and boring. 

In this particular dispute, the animal in question was a goat. It was munching on the closest petitioner’s jacket, chewing happily whilst the other raged about neighbourly theft. Arthur was just about to conclude the case, agreeing that the bearded man should get the goat, when the guards came through the doors hauling a squirming child between them. 

The man tugged the goat to his side. Alarmed, it bleated. The other man looked on sour faced. They both hurried to the outskirts of the room, sensing trouble. 

The guards threw the boy to the floor, at a place where Arthur could see just how young the boy was probably less than ten summers old. 

"This boy has been accused of theft via sorcery," the guard informed Arthur, a hint of malice colouring his tone. Merlin, who had been standing near the king, tensed and suddenly looked much more invested. Merlin didn't usually attend, too busy with chores or so he said. Convenient, that chores always seemed to pile up on petition day. Arthur was always glad when Merlin made an appearance for petitions. He could rely on Merlin's steadfast, unanimous support and it alleviated the boredom to share it with Merlin.

The child looked up, eyes watering. 

"Please, sire-" The boy's voice caught on a terrified sob. Arthur felt his heart seize as he truly took in the boy’s appearance; a small, desperate face with ears too big for him, similar to Merlin’s. Arthur imagined Merlin in the boy’s place, at the beginning of his father's reign, eyes wide and scared as he awaited his sentence. Arthur flinched. 

"You need not be afraid," Arthur reassured, shifting awkwardly on his throne. 

"Please, stand," he commanded gently. 

The boy stood shakily. 

"Sire-" The guard cautioned. Merlin's glare was so full of unbridled rage that it silenced him. 

"What did you steal and why?" Arthur asked. 

The boy’s eyes skittered around nervously as he took in the magnitude of the great hall. 

"Bread. I, I was hungry, m'lord," the boy confessed, tear-stained face tilted up to look at Arthur. 

"From Anselm's, the baker in the market?" 

"Yes, m'lord."

"I've heard they're in need of an apprentice," Arthur murmured to himself. 

Arthur nodded, he'd already decided what sentence the boy would face. Merlin seemed to relax. Arthur wondered if Merlin had read his mind. 

"Tomorrow you will apologise for stealing the bread and offer to become his apprentice. For now, you will be taken to the kitchens and given a meal," he commanded. The guards frowned.

Relief flickered across the boy's gaunt face as a serving girl came over to guide the boy to the kitchens, where he would be given some food before being sent on his way. 

Arthur waved away further cases as he exited into the hallway, needing a break. 

There was a palpable sense of disgruntlement but Arthur ignored it. The ban on magic had been repealed since Gwen's death, yet people were still hesitant to embrace magic and welcome sorcerers. Arthur had hoped that with its repeal,the veil of ignorance that his father's teachings had weaved would lift but the fear of magic was threaded too deeply within Camelot. Sorcerers and druids were still fighting prejudice and public hate even two years after the new laws had been signed. 

Arthur sighed, wearied by the continuous problem and lingered in the corridor.

Merlin had also taken the chance to escape the hall when Arthur had left. 

"Thank you," Merlin said quietly. Merlin was stood by the window, his blue eyes focused on Arthur instead of the courtyard below. 

"What for?" Arthur asked. 

Merlin had a small smile teasing at the corner of his mouth. "For your leniency."

He meant for the boy. 

Arthur scoffed, "I didn't do it for you, Merlin." 

The smile broadened. "I know." 

The reprieve was a short one as the council demanded a meeting. These constant meetings were beginning to get on Arthur's nerves. 

The council members weren't seated. Instead, they stood around the long table, an anxious air about them. They had clearly been discussing something before Arthur had entered. 

Arthur gestured. They bowed and took their seats. 

"Sire," one of them started tentatively, but was interrupted.

"Why didn't you punish the boy?" Lord Renner demanded. He had been one of Uther's leading council members during his reign.

"I saw no point in it," Arthur replied. 

"Theft is a crime," Renner said hotly. 

"Of course," Arthur placated. "But I cannot see the justice in punishing a starving boy. He needs to learn not to steal. Not all lessons should involve a whip." 

Renner seethed, teeth gritted as his downward pointed finger jabbed into the table. "This is your manservant’s doing." 

That riled Arthur. "His name is Merlin. And you know as well as any man here that Morgana would never have been defeated without him. You owe him your respect, and if not that, then your silence." Arthur’s voice was a sibilant hiss. 

Merlin looked oddly shy in that moment, face tucked as if to duck away from the onslaught of attention he was receiving at the king voicing his praises. 

The council stirred, uneasy. 

"Is that all?" Arthur demanded. No one answered him. 

He nodded and made to leave, pushing his chair back. 

He was halfway to the door when he turned. "As you're all gathered here, I would also like to address that I am perfectly capable of finding my future wife by myself. I do not appreciate you arranging things for me." 

"And stop calling meetings whenever you feel like, especially if it's just to judge my actions or speak on trivial matters. I value all of your opinions but I am the king and I have the final say." He added a glare before sweeping out of the room, Merlin on his heels. 

Arthur went straight to the training field. 

The knights were chattering and sparring lazily until they saw Arthur making his way over to them in rigid, angry strides. Gwaine made a taunting remark in the form of a joke and Merlin's eyes flashed. 

"Stop being an arse," Leon said, causing Elyan to snicker quietly, and the tension eased. For once, Gwaine's jokes had the desired effect. Arthur had been coiled like a spring but now his shoulders lowered and his brow smoothed out. 

"C'mon, no time for dilly dallying." Arthur grabbed hold of a sword and motioned for someone to attack. 

Merlin sighed and sat down on one of the benches, his polishing rag in hand. 

Elyan lingered on the outskirts of the field, near Merlin, as Arthur squared off against Leon _and_ Gwaine. 

Merlin gave him a friendly smile. 

Elyan had left the knights, left Camelot, after his sister's death, unable to stay where so many memories of her lingered. The knights had missed him but they understood. When he eventually came back, he was welcomed home with open arms.

Everyone still missed Gwen but Camelot had healed, was healing. 

Elyan lingered. "How is he handling it?" 

Merlin set down the sword he’d been working on. "Okay. Not as well as he's pretending, though." 

Elyan nodded, face grim. "The druid’s prophecy was definitely unexpected."

"And you? Are you…" _Coping?_ Merlin wanted to say but that didn't seem right. "Okay?" He finished lamely.

Elyan hesitated. "I'm alright," he said, a little stilted. 

"I'm alright," he repeated, his tone more certain. "It's hard to think of a new queen. In some ways, I never saw Gwen as queen, she was my sister first, but I became accustomed to seeing her there, on that throne. Trying to wrap my head around the idea of a new queen is confusing."

"Not confusing, it's-" He exhaled, shaking his head. "I can't explain it." 

"I understand," Merlin replied, voice low and commiserating. "I know the new queen isn't a replacement but they'll be filling the gap that Gwen left. It's a strange thing to adapt to." 

Elyan nodded. "It's hard. I miss her." 

Merlin wanted to say he did as well but worried how Elyan would take it. He'd been very on guard after Gwen's death, snappish then sorry for it, expressing all the anger that Arthur's depression had swallowed. It was one reason why he'd left. 

Merlin decided he should move the topic on to something more cheerful, he opened his mouth, about to do so when there was a yelp from the sparring trio that immediately drew Merlin's attention and spiked his worry. 

Merlin relaxed upon realising it was a noise made out of frustration rather than pain. No one was injured, well- not physically. Gwaine's ego was a different matter. 

Elyan watched Merlin- the way Merlin's eyes softened on realising no one was harmed, the dopey expression covering his face and the way his gaze seemed to stick on Arthur, immovable. 

Elyan looked at Gwaine ponderously. Gwaine's offhand comment at the banquet had seemed odd but now that Elyan was observing Merlin and Arthur more closely, he wondered if there had been something to it.

Merlin didn't notice, too busy looking at Arthur. 

Merlin had first noticed a change a couple months back, when he'd been dressing Arthur. It was a normal morning, nothing special about it, but the scent of Arthur's skin and the softness of the shirt he was placing over Arthur's head, the curve of Arthur's back and the blue of his eyes when he turned towards him had provoked something in Merlin that made him flush. 

Merlin realised soon after that he had a budding crush on Arthur. It was a low simmer that could be pushed to the back of his mind. It was purely physical attraction, that was all. Merlin's lust was ignored and Arthur seemed none the wiser about Merlin's new attraction to him. Merlin was unsettled by it but refused to let it disrupt their relationship yet in moments like this Arthur was as captivating as a flame. He was bright and burning, fierce yet gentle as he battled with his friends. 

Arthur's sword clashed against Leon's. His foot kicked out at Gwaine who artfully dodged and the three of them continued to spar.

Merlin's eyes snapped away from Arthur as Elyan shifted, drifting off to join in. Elyan grabbed a shield and a mace. Merlin went back to his cleaning, his cheeks a faint pink. He scrubbed the sword hard.

By the time Arthur halted practice, Merlin worried that his arms would fall off from having polished what felt like the whole army’s weapons.

The knights dispersed, leaving to clean up for dinner, joking to Arthur how they needed to look their best to witness his epic wooing skills. Merlin had almost forgotten about the date Arthur had with Lady Harreth. He made sure to dress Arthur in his finest outfit. 

Arthur put off entering The Great Hall for as long as possible. 

A plethora of half empty cups already littered the banquet table by the time Merlin dragged Arthur into the hall. Nobles were drowsy with heady liquor and the droning minstrels and poets that circulated around the room were no doubt just as drunk. 

Arthur made a noise of discontent. 

Merlin gave him an encouraging push. "C'mon, Arthur. One dinner can't hurt. You never know, you might like her. She is rather beautiful." 

Arthur reluctantly sat down, grumbling a little before putting on his charming kingly air. 

He smiled and turned to her. She had green eyes, bright as dew laden grass and a kind face, soft around the edges. Merlin was often quick to point out supposed beauty- too quick, but Arthur was inclined to think her handsome too. 

"Would you like some wine, my lady?" Arthur asked.

She gave a small smile. "Please." 

Arthur gestured for Merlin to come over. Merlin refrained from rolling his eyes. He picked up the wine jug next to Arthur and graciously poured Lady Harreth a cup. 

Merlin thought the frown she was wearing was directed at him but when she looked to him, her brow smoothed and she thanked him. She already surpassed Lady Teith by a mile. 

The evening continued, quickly for Arthur, who was enraptured by Lady Harreth.They were playing some kind of game to do with the grape bowl. The night wasn't so fast paced for Merlin however, who watched them from his designated post. 

He'd strayed over to the pillar in order to give the two some space. Merlin watched Arthur fixedly from across the room; Arthur didn't notice. _He never does_ , Merlin thought. Arthur looked happy, shining, and golden in the dim candle light. It was the first time Merlin had seen him happy in a public setting for what felt like a long time. 

Merlin's back was wedged against the cold hard pillar, the exact place where he used to stand and chat with Gwen, gossiping and discussing nobles. Merlin missed her, her absence made his chest hurt, like something was lodged in his lungs. He wondered if the sharp feeling was guilt. 

Arthur gestured for him again, drawing Merlin's attention away from his memories and back to the present.

Merlin came over and Arthur motioned with his head for Merlin to get closer. He leant forward, almost level to Arthur. 

"Lady Harreth and I wish to walk through the castle gardens. I'm sure Gaius requires some sort of herb if you wish to join us." Arthur gave him a meaningful look. 

Merlin had had no idea that when he became Arthur's manservant he'd also become his confidant, friend and now, apparently, chaperone. 

Arthur was waiting for a response and Merlin gave a put upon smile as his only answer. Arthur grinned and lightly hit his shoulder before returning his focus on Lady Harreth. 

The three of them left the noise and bustle of the banquet soon afterward, Merlin caught the gleeful, smug looks from the council members as well as a rather put out one on Lord Teith's face. 

The cool air of the late evening hit Merlin, the soothing presence cast over his skin like a shield as they stepped out into the gardens. The castle was topped with snow and the ground was cold through his boots. Arthur wasn't far behind, Lady Harreth in tow. 

The roses weren't out yet, the trellis was bare, and the flower beds were yet to be sowed. There was a small cluster of heather, some bright purple, others a dull pink and some plain green and white hellebores. The smattering of snow muted the colors of the plants and though the herb garden had a small patch of plants still growing, they were also covered in a light frost. 

"These are lovely," Lady Harreth said, probably in an attempt to lift the awkward silence that had engulfed them.

Merlin tried to hold in a smile. Arthur had probably panicked with his invite to the gardens, Lady Harreth had been too kind to point out that nothing would be flowering. Merlin stopped to consider the withered looking mint leaves, allowing the two to pass so that he could trail behind at a distance. 

The two started chatting again and Merlin tried hard to keep an appropriate distance.

It seemed that Arthur saw these meet ups more as compatibility tests than genuine dates. Although there wasn't much romance involved, it was clear that Lady Harreth was nice and that Arthur thought so too. 

Merlin wished he didn't have to think about it at all. 

"Me too!" Arthur exclaimed enthusiastically before faltering, a light blush on his face at his reaction. Lady Harreth’s laugh was gentle and Arthur’s smile returned. 

They came to the far side of the gardens. 

"As the poets say," Arthur started, leaning against the wall, floundering and looking away after an embarrassing moment passed. "Ah well, it's really more my manservant, Merlin, that's an admirer of the poets." 

"What sort of poems do you like?" Lady Harreth asked Merlin. 

Merlin startled and the hairs on his neck stood up as he thought of the answer. He doubted Lady Harreth would agree with Merlin's druidic leanings; the folk songs and the ballads that he'd grown up with were his favourite. It seemed too personal a thing to share. Merlin shook his head. 

"Um, anything really," he said, hoping she would go back to ignoring him. 

She didn't. "I'm very fond of Beowulf." 

Merlin nodded and with a genuine smile said, "So am I." 

That seemed to break the ice. Lady Harreth smiled. "Arthur mentioned you're the court physician?" 

"Oh no, no," Merlin started humbly. "I'm his assistant. Gaius is the court physician." 

Arthur clapped his shoulder, a little rougher than usual. "Don't be shy, Merlin. Gaius is, of course, an asset to the castle but you fetch the herbs and are learned in the ways of medicine." 

"My mother always took a great interest in the well being of the common people," Lady Harreth said, voice soft. 

"Is she.." Merlin didn't finish the sentence. 

Lady Harreth looked over at the heather. "She passed away two winters ago." 

"My condolences." Merlin dipped his head out of respect. He was surprised to feel Lady Harreth's hand on his shoulder, her way of thanking him. 

Arthur drifted back into the conversation. "I feel the night is growing cold."

"Yes, I think I shall retire to my chambers. Goodnight, my lord." She curtsied. 

Arthur paid her the same courtesy, bowing his head as he bid her goodnight. 

Arthur was surprised that Merlin didn't pester him on the way back to his chamber and even more surprised when he continued to stay silent on the topic after they had entered his room- Merlin usually exclaimed wildly and asked millions of questions as soon as the doors shut behind them. 

"Is everything all right, Merlin?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Are you?" 

"Yes. You just seem..." Merlin looked at him, wide eyes blinking. 

Arthur shook his head. "So, what do you think of Lady Harreth?" 

"I think the more important question is what _you_ think," Merlin replied. 

"She's nice," Arthur wavered. 

"You seem hesitant?" Merlin tilted his head in a questioning manner. 

The candles flickered, casting a shadow over Arthur's face.

Arthur shook his head, his blonde fringe shifted, moving to dangle in front of his face. He shoved them back. "It isn't that, she seems lovely. I just, I never expected to marry again." 

That meant Lady Harreth had gotten him thinking of the druid’s prophecy, of marriage. Arthur saw her as a solid possibility. 

Merlin didn't know what to say. The silence grew. Arthur broke it before it became too thick.

"At least the council won't be bothering me anytime soon." 

"Yes," Merlin said. "They looked so shocked. It'll take them a couple of days to recover." 

Merlin was smiling. 

Arthur watched him then turned his head to the side as a grin broke over his features as he also thought of Lord Renner's startled expression. 

Merlin's grin wore off, weighed down by the current dilemma. He bit his lip. "What if there was a different way to cleanse the land?" 

"There isn't," Arthur asseverated. He caught the glint in Merlin's eye. "Is there?' 

"Well- I wondered, I mean. I don't know if it'll work, most people are summoned by them, they don't seek them out," Merlin babbled, stuck in his own thoughts. 

"Merlin," Arthur prompted. 

"The Disir are the highest court of the Old Religion and they supposedly interpret the word of the Triple Goddess. They're said to reside in the Grove of Brineved, somewhere in the black mountains," Merlin explained. "If we find them, we could ask about the cleansing ritual. There must be other ways to save Camelot that don't involve marriage." 

Arthur considered it. It'd definitely be more fun than any courting schemes the council currently had brewing. Arthur was going to avoid finding a bride as long as possible and this opened up the chance to not find one at all. Maybe the Disir would have answers. 

Arthur tried hard not to get his hopes up. He spent the next few days planning, scouring maps of the Black Mountains. Merlin helped by researching the Disir and cleansing rituals in Camelot's library, which was still lacking in magical scripture. Merlin _had_ found a secret corner tucked away full of magical texts but he already knew there wasn't any information in those that could help. 

Three days after Merlin’s suggestion, Arthur, Merlin and a patrol of knights set off in search for the Disir’s hideout. 

They searched Brineved, rode up and down the hills and travelled up snow covered mountains until finally, they found the cave outlet leading to the Disir. 

"Wait," Merlin voiced as Percy neared the entrance. 

The knights paused. Merlin looked up at the cave entrance and scanned the engravings.

"No weapons," he warned. Arthur suggested that just he and Merlin should go in, the knights shifted unhappily at this but complied. They stayed just within the mouth of the cave, sheltered from the snow. 

Arthur leant his sword up against a rock and stepped into the dark, cavernous entrance. The knights soon faded from view. Water dripped from the encroaching cave walls, splashing on Merlin's eyelids as they walked down the narrow, rocky corridor. Tokens and carved offerings hung from the cave walls, dangling down, and slowing their pace even further as he and Arthur were careful to dodge them, making sure not to tear any down in their haste for answers.

Eventually the narrow corridor opened up and they saw three cloaked figures standing tall in the middle of the cave, they were so silent that a faint drip of water could be heard, echoing. 

"Arthur." The first sounded curious. 

"Pendragon," the second hissed. 

"Emrys," the third greeted. Merlin was surprised to be addressed and his modesty seemed to please them.

They spoke as one, "You have not been summoned." 

Merlin looked at Arthur, who nodded. Merlin bowed to them as a show of respect. 

"Our apologies for coming un-summoned and unannounced. It is a matter of urgency. We have received warning and have come to ask the Morrigan if it's true." 

They looked amongst themselves, silently conferring, then turned back to Arthur and Merlin. 

"The land will rot," one said. 

"And you with it," another added. 

The Morrigan had confirmed the druid’s vision. 

"You will have to open your mind." 

"And your heart,"

"Marry again and complete the union. The lands will be replenished and the new age will dawn," the last finished their verdict.

"Is that the only way? Marriage?" Arthur inquired. 

"Yes. It must be done with the cleansing ritual," they answered. 

Merlin got the sense that that wasn't the full truth. But who was he to question a goddess?

"What does the cleansing ritual involve?" Merlin asked. 

"A union is all that is necessary." 

"No spell? Or sacrifice?" Merlin questioned further. 

They remained silent. Merlin assumed that was a no. 

They thanked them and Merlin left an offering, out of respect and common courtesy. 

Merlin was dissatisfied with the result and Arthur depressed. Merlin went over what they said as they left. 

"Marry and unite," Merlin repeated. "Aren't they the same thing? What did they mean by a union?" 

Arthur gave him a look but Merlin still seemed confused. 

"If you don't understand it, I'm not explaining it. Ask Gwaine, he'll be happy to tell you." 

Merlin blushed, sudden understanding colouring his cheeks. "Oh."

The knights startled when they saw them. 

"That was fast," Elyan said. 

"Really? Felt like hours," Arthur said, picking up his sword and strapping his scabbard on. He slipped his dagger back into his boot. 

"It was more like seconds," Percy told them.

"Find out anything useful?" 

Arthur heaved himself up into his saddle instead of replying. Merlin shook his head. 

It had been a very disappointing trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dagda (god of life and death, agriculture and fertility)
> 
> Morrigan (goddess of death, discord, and war. She was portrayed both as a single entity and as three sisters who could issue terrifying prophecy and foretell the deaths of warriors and kings)


	2. January

JANUARY

The early morning mist was an opaque veil. The winter sun was a pale circle, blurred as it hung in the sky like a hazy spotlight. Camelot was a barren landscape silhouetted by bare trees and carpets of white.

A week had passed with no pestering from the council though Arthur had felt the building anxiety like a fist pressing into him, even Merlin had been getting a little twitchy at Arthur's passivity.

The lake had fully frozen over and stayed frozen. Arthur decided visiting the skaters and possibly joining them would make for a great date. Lady Amartha hadn't seemed terribly keen.

"Sire?" Merlin called.

"Yes Merlin?" Arthur was riding in front of him.

Lady Amartha turned to look at Merlin too, shifting on the horse uncomfortably.

Lady Amartha seemed a very mild mannered and pleasant woman, she didn't talk much on the journey there but that allowed Merlin and Arthur to have their usual long conversations, so her contributions weren't missed.

"Will you be skating?" Merlin's horse gained ground, so that he was riding by Arthur's side.

Arthur said he didn't plan on it. Lady Amartha looked incredibly disappointed at that.

When they got there, groups of people were already surrounding the lake. Only a handful of people had been brave enough to go out on the ice. Makeshift skates were strapped to their feet as they giggled and swirled around each other.

They stopped at the king’s arrival.

"Please, continue," Arthur said with a calming gesture. They carried on as before.

The knights had been watching the skaters in a gaggle by the side. They saw Arthur and Merlin and waved them over.

"Merlin!" They greeted.

"We weren't sure you'd come," Percival commented.

Merlin looked puzzled. "Why wouldn't I?"

Gwaine diverted answering by asking Lady Amartha a question. "Will you be skating, my lady?" Her wide eyes blinked, she shook her dainty head.

As Arthur continued to try and find some common ground with Lady Amartha, Merlin left the knights and found a quiet corner to strap his own skates on when Gwaine came over.

"Princess having any luck?" He asked.

"Huh?" Merlin so eloquently responded, one foot almost done.

"You know, is he getting along with any of them?"

"Oh. Yeah, I guess." Merlin shrugged and set off onto the ice. He wobbled a little and the knights jeered and hooted. Merlin turned to stick his tongue out at them before focusing on the ice again, being careful to avoid other skaters. When Merlin had skated quite far out, unhindered by the presence of the other skaters, he felt like he was flying. He raced in the empty space before him, skidding zig zags before slowing to a more leisurely pace.

Lady Amartha stood silent by Arthur's side the whole time, her eyes intent on the ice and the skaters on it. Her gaze flickered from Arthur to the lake almost constantly.

Arthur had been pondering aloud whether to join his 'useless manservant' on the ice. The knights egged him on, daring him to go. Arthur put some skates on and started forward, legs pushing two sturdy strides, then further into the center. He had just looked up to grin at Merlin when a loud noise resounded, echoing across the lake.

Merlin froze as he heard the ice begin to crack, he could see it starting to open to his far left.

Arthur was nearest the parting ice. "Get back! Everyone off the ice, now! Go as slowly as you can," he instructed.

Arthur started towards Merlin but Merlin shook his head and held a warding hand up. Looking distressed and unsure what to do, Arthur slowly backed up, off the lake. Once he was safely on land, his eyes locked onto Merlin. His feet remained on the ground but his body propelled forward slightly, his unease magnified by another creak.

"Merlin! Get over here," Gwaine shouted, hand cupping his mouth.

Merlin was still far out, much further than he’d thought. On trembling skates, he started making his way over, trying to put as little pressure as possible on the ice. Adrenaline was racing through him, his blood felt fast in his veins. He thrummed.

He'd nearly reached the edge when he heard a whimper.

Someone was crying in the middle of the ice. It was a girl, she'd gone unnoticed as she had been lying flat. She must've tripped and been unable to get back up, with no one to help her as everyone else had already vacated the ice. Maybe she had heard the ice cracking and had been too afraid to move. She shivered.

Merlin hurried over, cautious of the fragile surface they were standing on. "Hey, hey there." Merlin saw the girl look at him from the corner of her eye.

"I'm going to help you, okay? Do you think you can get up?" She shook her head and made a sound of distress. Her hand clutched at the ice beneath her.

Merlin took a deep breath, the cold air like needles to his lungs. "Alright. You’re okay, you'll be okay. I need you to move onto your side very slowly. Can you do that?"

The girl eased herself onto her side, shuddering a little as she did so.

"Good, good. Very good," Merlin praised. "Now move back onto your stomach. Slowly, slowly." He warned.

Puffs of air came out of the girl's mouth, her breathing fast as she drew up onto her knees, her ankles were painfully flattened against the lake.

"You're doing so well. Okay, now I need you to move forward, use your arms and legs."

In her panic, or perhaps because of Merlin's unclear instructions, the girl leant heavily on the ice. Her bare hands pressed fully against it as she moved to crouch and then straighten up completely onto her feet.

Merlin took a sharp inhale of breath. "No!"

She was a metre away, and taller than Merlin expected. The full pressure of her weight was too much for the fragile layer of ice, it cracked suddenly, falling away around her feet.

There was a dizzying moment when Merlin thought he'd be able to grab her in time.

She lurched, then sank, crashing down into the icy water.

Though he couldn’t see them, twin voices that probably belonged to her parents made a distressed cry at the same time that Arthur shouted Merlin's name.

Merlin didn't think, couldn't think, he took action. He surged forward, attempts at slight movements abandoned as the girl's head went under. Merlin grabbed her collar to bring her back up and lugged her half over his shoulder as he dragged her up out of the water and back onto the ice.

She coughed and spluttered and wobbled before finding her footing. Merlin awkwardly manoeuvred her. Her wet clothes were heavy and his grasp on her was clumsy. He set her on her feet, she clung to his side so she wouldn't fall. At a steady pace, they made their way off the ice.

Her parents surged forward, trying to get to their daughter. Their feet were about to step onto the ice when Merlin told them to stay back.

When they finally reached them, the girl was quickly embraced by her parents. After a quick hug, Merlin asked to check her over. He was worried she would suffer from frost sickness as she was shivering viciously. He didn’t know if she had swallowed any of the water when she’d gone under.

He ignored Arthur and the knights’ concern in order to assess the girl. Her wet hair hung heavily down her back and her little fingers were greying with cold. Merlin determined there was a short space of time to ensure she wouldn’t get frost sickness. He insisted that she be sent to Gaius quickly.

It was all a rush after that. Merlin heard Arthur promising that the girl was in good hands and that her treatment would be free of charge. From what Merlin had seen, she would be fine but it was better to be safe than sorry. She was immediately sent on horseback to Gaius, Merlin accompanied her.

She had been cold and tired on the way to Camelot but now the girl was warmed from the fireplace, her hair mostly dry. Merlin had sat with her for a while, entertaining her. He'd already changed clothes and hadn't suffered from a chill the way the little girl had. Arthur had reduced his chores to ensure he didn't catch cold. "Can't have you sneezing everywhere," Arthur had said when he'd gone to visit them in Gaius' chambers.

The girl's spirits had been high as they'd chatted by the fireplace. She seemed keen to talk despite the slight rattle of her teeth as she shivered. The girl's parents soon arrived and Merlin decided she was well enough and that he could get back to his duties. Gaius asked that he pop to the market to get a list of ingredients.

A gaggle of young women approached him, he recognised one of them as Rhiannon, a kitchen maid that Merlin had been sweet on when he'd first arrived in Camelot. She beamed at him and Merlin made polite conversation with them as they walked through the town and his efforts seemed to delight them.

His heroism was rewarded as they weaved their way down the street. He was given a lavender twist free of charge from the bakery, people passing him gave appraising looks and he was offered a free drink at the tavern. He declined, it was too early in the day for drinking though he was sure Gwaine would disagree with him.

Merlin returned to give Gaius the herbs he'd bought and then went to clean the stables. On his way to the training fields, he got claps on the shoulder and the same group from earlier reappeared.

They came up to him slowly, pushing each other towards Merlin. They each gave him a kiss on the cheek and Merlin blushed a bright red. They scampered off, giggling as they went.

Merlin turned to find all the knights and Arthur watching him. Arthur looked a little red as well, though Merlin couldn't fathom why. _He_ had no reason to be embarrassed.

Training that day was short but brutal. Arthur was ruthless as he battered his fellow knights. The knights were quite relieved when the session finally ended.

As they wandered back up to the citadel, they picked on Merlin, teasing him good-naturedly.

"I've never been so jealous in my life. Here I am, a gift to all woman-kind and I get neglected. And there’s Merlin, being lavished with attention- Now, every kitchen maid in the country wants to kiss him and give him an extra helping of Cook’s famous chicken pie and he doesn't even want any of it! Well, none of the kisses," Gwaine sighed.

Gwaine turned a smiling eye on him. "Not so sure about Rhiannon though, didn't you used to have a crush on her? Maybe you'll give her kiss back," Gwaine teased, waggling his eyebrows with meaning. The boys hooted and cat called.

"Don't be stupid," Arthur snapped.

"What's stupid about that? They'd make a fine pair," Gwaine remarked.

"It's not like Merlin's going to marry her," Arthur said, voice tight.

"Exactly," Gwaine said. "So what's the problem?" Tension hummed in the air. It passed and Gwaine asked if anyone wanted to head down to the tavern.

"I learnt a new game recently, we could try it," Gwaine suggested enthusiastically.

"Why? Games are pointless and yours are no fun," Sir Brennis muttered.

"Don't listen to him, he's just annoyed because Percy broke his wrist in an arm wrestle in the tavern last week," Gwaine said.

"I know, I was there. I had to patch it up," Merlin's voice dripped with disapproval.

They had just reached the courtyard when a couple hurried over to Merlin. It was the girl's parents. Merlin gestured for the others to continue on without him.

They grasped his hands between theirs. "Thank you. Thank you. We don't know how to repay you."

Merlin mostly shrugged off the praise. "There's no need, really. I would've done it for anybody. I'm glad she's okay. There is nothing to repay." He excused himself.

When he got back, the knights had split off and Arthur had gone to his chambers. Merlin entered Arthur's room and Arthur stood, perplexed by something.

"You okay?" Merlin asked as a way of announcing his arrival.

Arthur looked up, face clearing. "Yes, fine. Are you? I'm surprised you didn't go under too, you twig." The joke thinly veiled the worry beneath it.

Merlin waved off his concern. "I'm fine."

Arthur gave a singular nod, the worried expression faded.

"What did they want?" Arthur asked.

"Just to thank me," Merlin said. "How is Lady Amartha?"

"She's glad the girl is safe. She did say something odd before she left," Arthur hummed.

"Oh? What's that?" Merlin questioned.

"She said, 'I hope to be more successful on our next date'. I don't know, it just struck me as odd. I think she’s afraid of crowds or something. While you were skating, before the ice cracked, she seemed unhappy that so many people were present and said as much," Arthur shrugged. "Not a good fear for a potential queen but aside from that, she seems a subdued but fine lady."

Arthur let a beat pass and bit his lip. He moved out of his seat to stand. "That was very brave, saving that girl."

Merlin shrugged. "Not really."

Arthur paused, mouth twitching. "I have something for you."

Merlin's eyebrows shot up. "A reward? That must be a first."

He usually just got berated by Arthur, usually something along the lines of 'Merlin you idiot, you could've gotten yourself killed' or 'What were you thinking, you imbecile?' A gift was a nice change.

"Shut up, Merlin," Arthur said lightly as he disappeared off to the other side of the room. Arthur told him to close his eyes.

"What?"

"Close them! And hold your hands out."

"Alright, alright. They're closed." Merlin's hands were palm up in front of him.

First he felt something being draped over his shoulders and tied at the front. Merlin smiled and let his hands drop, Arthur had got him a cloak. He was about to open his eyes.

"Nah ah! Eyes closed, hands out. Honestly Merlin, I know you struggle to follow simple instructions but really-"

Merlin felt something leather and heavy placed into his hands, they dipped with the weight. He opened his eyes.

The cover was worn but the title was still visible, the clasp on it had symbols carved into it. It felt powerful.

He'd been searching for this book for years. It was Talisan that had first mentioned it to him, Gaius had tried to help him in his search but often got caught up in his own work, brewing potions and assisting the sick.

"Happy birthday," Arthur said.

Merlin's head whipped up. "How did you know?"

Arthur grinned. "Finally wheedled it out of Gwaine."

"How- How did you find it? How did you even know I wanted it?"

"Do you not? I can-"

"No! No. I just..." Merlin smiled. His fingers traced over the gilded title.

"Thank you," he whispered, sincerity touching his voice.

Arthur responded bashfully and offered to lessen the remainder of Merlin's duties for the day, insisted on it even, so that Merlin could celebrate but he refused.

Merlin carefully set aside the book and took his new cloak off, admiring the vibrant Pendragon red garment before he set about doing some chores around the chamber. They talked as he worked. Merlin rebuffed Arthur's continued offer of a furlough.

"I don't need any time off," Merlin said as he poked the fireplace.

"Are you sure?" Arthur probed.

"Yes!" Merlin said for the thousandth time. He'd much rather spend his birthday with Arthur anyway, even if it was in the form of cleaning.

He was dusting and tidying Arthur's room, shoving random things down the back of the chest and behind the curtains. Arthur pretended not to notice.

They'd been chatting and joking with each other as the sun drifted along the sky, hours passing unnoticed.

Merlin moved to dust the mantel. The warmth of the fire enveloped him as he stood there. He could feel Arthur wavering, debating whether to speak or not.

"What is it?"

Arthur sighed. "Lady Teith will be spending the day with us tomorrow."

"What, why!? You can't possibly want to actually marry her?" Merlin complained, turning away from the fireplace to look at Arthur.

"No, but her father has a large influence on the council and could make life very difficult for me," Arthur explained.

"You're just giving him false hope! The woman is insufferable and you don't intend to marry her. You're just prolonging the inevitable." Merlin brandished the duster like a weapon as he lectured the king.

"Merlin," Arthur chastised.

"Can I have tomorrow off?" Merlin asked, desperate to avoid her.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Merlin. She's not that bad!"

Merlin said nothing.

Arthur ran a hand through his hair. "Hopefully it'll be the last time and won't cause too much disruption to the council."

Merlin grumpily went back to the fire which danced and hissed each time Merlin poked it.

The next day came too soon. Arthur had a long, luxurious awakening, a slow breakfast and drowsily lounged about before Merlin had to force him out of bed to get him dressed. Merlin was dreading it more than Arthur was.

Merlin tugged Arthur's collar, smoothing it as they talked. His eyes focused on the tantalising patch of skin available to Merlin's greedy eyes as he tried to listen to Arthur talking about Lady Teith, that spiteful woman.

Arthur had just got his boots on when a serving boy rushed into Arthur's room unexpectedly and in breathless pants announced that the scouts on the road had seen Queen Annis and that she was to arrive shortly at the city gates.

Merlin and Arthur shared a look, Arthur glanced out the window, curtain ruffling before they headed to the courtyard shoulder to shoulder. Horses’ hooves could soon be heard clopping against the stone as they waited and Queen Annis appeared with her retinue, looking regal as ever on horseback.

She looked radiant, her fiery hair was replenished and flowing down her back. She appeared brighter, content. The last time Merlin had seen her she had been haggard and beaten down. That worn expression had been on everyone's face as the battle of Camlann ravished Camelot and its allies. It pleased Merlin that she was doing well. She had become an uneasy ally after Arthur had defeated her champion in single combat. They had grown closer since. She had stood by Arthur's side against Morgana and supplied troops, passage and armaments during the battle of Camlann. Arthur had repaid them by helping her kingdom last winter when Caerleon's crops had rotted and the people had been on the brink of starvation.

They'd kept in touch through letters. Arthur had many allies and tried his best to stay in contact with all of them. Pleasantries avoided wars, however much it pained Arthur to write out the numerous letters he sent out every month in addition to all the other paperwork he dealt with. Merlin always scorned him for his laziness though it was always with a teasing smile.

Annis dismounted and exchanged greetings. She was coy about it but there was a good rapport between the two of them. Annis’ frigid air usually softened over the course of a conversation.

She scanned Arthur's face. "You look surprised to see me."

"My apologies, Your Majesty. I had assumed you would write a letter in response rather than coming in person, though Camelot is always glad to have you."

"I did send a letter. I mentioned I would be passing through." Annis tilted her head, a contemplative expression glanced over her face.

"Oh? I never received it." Arthur frowned and looked to Merlin who looked just as confused. "Of course, you and your entourage are welcome. We shall have a feast in your honour."

Annis' eyes flickered to Merlin who had stayed by the top of the castle entrance when Arthur went down to greet her.

"I see your manservant is still alive." The fondness she felt for Arthur didn't stretch to Merlin.

The muscle in Arthur's cheek tensed, jaw clenching, before he plastered a fake smile on. The knights had no such inclination, they openly shot her dark looks. Arthur made a broad sweeping motion, Annis went up the stairs with a small smile. Flattery and politeness had always helped melt Annis' chilly demeanour just that bit quicker.

Despite her dislike of Merlin, Annis had always been Arthur's favourite out of the rulers of the Five Kingdoms. Partly because she almost always took Arthur's side and partly because her support had bolstered his position as Camelot's king and strengthened his influence amongst the other, less trusting kingdoms.

Although Arthur had inherited the title, he wanted to be worthy of it, to earn his place. He had been questioned and criticised by the other, more experienced kings so Annis had been an extremely fortunate ally. Annis had replaced Alined's kingdom as one of the Five due to the land Deorham lost and the sudden population growth in Caerleon.

After the great wars and Arthur's success at Camlann, the five kingdoms agreed to reunite under Arthur. All of them had been affected by Morgana's terrible crusade for revenge and the multiple Saxon invasions had left them depleted.

Arthur thought back to those dark days, he was lucky that Essetir hadn't invaded after Gwen's death. Camelot would've been doomed had they decided to, grief stricken as the kingdom was.

The gratitude he felt didn't tend to last long when he was in Lot's presence though. He'd clashed severely with Lot, and most of the other rulers, when he had announced that he had lifted the ban on magic in Camelot at the peace talks. Arthur was thankful that they only met once a year.

They were at the top of the stairs, about to enter the castle, when a loud bang sounded in the courtyard. They both turned towards it as a fuss kicked up in the courtyard. One of the horses had startled at the noise, and Merlin ran down to calm it.

"The wagon is broken," a Caerleon knight informed them. "And the supplies in it have spilt."

One of the wheels had come loose and destabilised the wagon, which now lay wonky, resting on the cobbles. A mess of food, drink and other supplies were in a pile having slid off when it broke.

"Salvage what you can, Camelot will give you extra provisions to make up for any losses," Arthur offered and Annis looked conflicted. "As for the wheel, someone should fetch the blacksmith."

The blacksmith examined the damage.

"The axle connecting the wheel to the wagon is eroded and a few of the spokes on the wheel are loose," he reported. "You would be best off with a new wheel."

"How long would that take?" Annis' asked.

"Around a week, possibly longer," the blacksmith replied.

Annis looked dismayed. She already thought a four day stay was too long for the business she needed to attend to. She had grown fond of Arthur so it didn't trouble her too much, but she couldn't let days lapse over for the wagon’s repairs.

"Is there a quicker solution available? If something could be done to get the wheel working, even if it wasn’t a permanent fix, the wheel could be ready by the time you leave," Arthur reasoned. Merlin tried not to beam with pride at Arthur's innovative thinking.

The blacksmith considered this. "I could weld a new piece of metal to it and oil the axle. The wheel will need replacing sooner rather than later though."

"Could it be ready in another two day’s time?" Arthur questioned

The blacksmith nodded. "If I start fixing it today and do some more work tomorrow then yes. It'll cost though," the blacksmith added a hasty, "Your Majesty."

Annis was about to ask the price but Arthur got there before her.

"You'll get the money tomorrow," Arthur promised. The blacksmith nodded and some of Annis' men helped shift the wagon into the blacksmith’s forge.

Annis didn't offer any thanks, though she seemed grateful. She knew she would have to return the favour in the treaty talks.

They walked through the corridors, chatting. A maid scurried past. There was a flurry of people about, a result of having to facilitate Annis' unexpected arrival. The horses had been taken into the stables, the mess from the cart breaking had been cleaned and some rooms were being prepared for Queen Annis and her entourage to retire to, giving them somewhere to freshen up after their long journey.

Annis' and Arthur briefly discussed what they had been writing to one another about. Arthur suggested that they create a draft treaty and go over it in more detail the next day. She agreed.

Merlin was making his way down the corridor, having just finished cleaning the spillage from the wagon incident. His neckerchief was askew and his jacket had a wet patch from where he'd picked up a waterskin, not realising it had split until it had soaked through his clothes.

"Ah, Merlin. Perfect timing, you can show Queen Annis to her rooms," Arthur commanded.

Annis muttered at that and Merlin mustered a bright, cheery smile. Arthur peeled away, having other duties to oversee.

"I may be tempted to needle you for information but I know your loyalty to Arthur is unbreakable," Annis said as they headed towards one of the many guest chambers.

Merlin's eyes narrowed. Did that mean Annis would've needled someone else?

"I wouldn't needle anyone else either, Arthur has been a valuable ally to Caerleon. However, I have no doubt his kindness has a motive."

Merlin didn't comment.

Whilst Annis and the other guests settled in, Arthur informed his council about the treaty discussions that were to begin tomorrow and mulled over what Annis had said, weighing what he could and couldn't get her to accept and what he would sacrifice to ensure her acceptance of his proposal.

Arthur was quite surprised how soon the time passed, between organising the treaty talks and planning his arguments. Merlin showed up to tell him the feast was ready.

The Great Hall was adequately decorated and the food laid out was more than Arthur thought the kitchens could manage at such short notice. Arthur silently commended the castle staff in his head. He hoped he'd remember to praise them later.

They seated themselves, Annis sat to his right. Annis' retinue and various other nobles filtered through the hall and claimed their seats.

Once everyone was settled, Arthur gave a welcoming toast to Annis. After Arthur had finished, conversation gently filled the space. The clanking of dishes and goblets arose as people tucked into their meals. Arthur added a tartlet to his plate.

Avoiding talk of politics, he and Annis spoke of Elena's upcoming wedding.

"Perhaps there will be two royal weddings," Annis speared a cut of venison, "I heard you were looking for a wife?"

Arthur startled. "Oh- uh. Yes."

Annis chewed on it. "Word gets around fast these days."

Arthur sipped his drink. He was well aware that there were spies in every kingdom’s court but Arthur tried to keep a close eye on the ones in his. He wasn't aware that he was entertaining a spy for Annis. He thought they had more trust than that.

"Is that a potential bride to be?" Annis asked, nodding to someone down the table.

Arthur followed her eye line to Lady Teith, who was staring directly at him. She fluttered her eyelashes and dipped her body over the table, showing her breasts as she twirled her hair and reached for a jug of wine.

Arthur cleared his throat and averted his eyes. He tried not to go red from embarrassment. Lady Teith looked terribly pleased at her effect, no doubt misreading the cause of Arthur's flush. It was very unlike her, her limbs seemed a little loose as she stretched over the table.

Annis looked amused. Arthur gave her a strained smile.

"Could you fetch Thomas?" Arthur asked Merlin.

Arthur was in need of distraction but the entertainment options were sorely lacking.

Merlin blinked, motionless. He wondered if his ears deceived him. "Thomas?"

Arthur grimaced slightly then shrugged. "Do you have a better idea?"

Merlin went to get him. Thomas was hung over, his lute out of pitch and his poems getting more and more lascivious as they went on. And boy, did they go on. Annis laughed joyously whilst Arthur's cheeks burned. He wanted to sink under the table as Thomas continued, occasionally striking a discordant noise from his lute and uttering half forgotten lines.

Unnoticed by those at the head of the table, Lady Teith had been steadily drinking throughout the feast and was now making her way over to Arthur’s side of the hall.

She had skirted along the sides until she was hovering near Arthur's seat. He did his best to ignore her. Annis was watching Lady Teith from the side of her eye, smiling still.

Lady Teith inched closer until she was stood half behind Arthur's chair and half blocking his view of Merlin. She fluttered her eyelashes which amused Annis further. Lady Teith took a deep breath, as if steeling herself, then leaned over. Her breasts were unavoidable but Arthur still tried to look elsewhere. She took Arthur's goblet of wine and downed the whole thing within a matter of seconds. She was half bent over the chair, she was leaning so hard against it.

"That's quite enough," Arthur said at last, a wobble in his voice as he tried to rein in his bright blush. Lady Teith's hand was somewhere underneath the table. Merlin's eyes nearly bugged. Lady Teith’s wore a glazed over look, her eyes focused on the ceiling. Her mind was wine addled.

Merlin hurried Thomas off, the lute clanged as Thomas was all but shoved out of the hall. Arthur stood and moved away from the table and from Lady Teith.

It was after Thomas's swift departure that Annis announced she would be retiring for the night. She smiled and said that a visit to Camelot was always entertaining.

Arthur followed suit. Merlin checked on the others and that some supplies had been set aside for Annis to replace the things damaged earlier before returning to Arthur's chambers.

"All of Annis' assembly have settled in for the night," Merlin told him.

Arthur nodded, satisfied.

"What's the treaty about?" Merlin's attempts at being subtle failed.

"Nothing you need to worry about, Merlin," Arthur spoke, eyes swiping to, then away from Merlin.

The next day, Arthur piled Merlin with chores to do, a list so long Merlin thought Arthur was joking. He realised it was Arthur's way of keeping him busy, it was his way of telling him he didn't want him at the treaty talks.

Merlin headed to the kitchens, grumbling a little. Arthur turned in the opposite direction and went up to Lady Teith's room.

Arthur knocked on her door, then knocked again. She was slow to respond.

Eventually the door cracked open. Lady Teith's hair was a mess, her eyes were narrowed against the light and her nose was scrunched. She put a hand to the side of her head and leant heavily against the doorframe.

She was still in her nightclothes, clearly feeling the effects of the night before. She rubbed her eyes then realised it was the king.

She straightened and pulled her shawl closer around herself.

"Your Majesty."

"Lady Teith, I don't mean to be blunt but I can't help but think that you're trying to sabotage our dates," Arthur said.

She didn't look at him, instead she fiddled with the end of her shawl.

"You forget that I've talked with you before you were an intended bride," he reminded her.

"It would seem I am not as stupid as you hoped," Arthur said. "So I would like an explanation."

Lady Teith bit her lip, refusing to meet Arthur's gaze. She pulled at the tassels of the shawl some more before admitting: "I don't want to marry you. I'm not interested in-"

Arthur understood the sentence she didn't say.

"I'm not interested in you but I had a duty to my father, so I didn’t feel I could outright say ‘no’. And I'm sorry for my behaviour. I don't usually drink but they call it liquid courage, and I needed some courage to make sure you wouldn't want to marry me."

Arthur nodded. "Hm. Well, I think telling the council that I won't be courting you any longer will be a relief to both of us then."

She smiled, relieved, and gave a single nod. He excused himself.

On his way down the corridor he bumped into Merlin. He was carrying a large laundry basket.

"Merlin, I need you to call a council meeting."

"What, now?"

"Yes, now," Arthur demanded. "Forget the chores for the moment, I need this over with."

The council was called, only a few grumbled at the inconvenience. It was still too early and the treaty talks weren't to start until later.

Arthur paced outside the hall, the council were waiting inside. Five minutes ticked past and Merlin knew the council would be getting restless at Arthur's absence. Arthur realised this too. He steeled himself and entered the room, chin high and aura placid though Merlin could feel the hesitance and anxiety that twisted Arthur's nerves, even if they couldn't.

"Arthur," Merlin said quietly, low enough that only Arthur would hear, and gave a reassuring look and dipped his head in an encouraging nod. Arthur turned to address the council.

"Lady Teith will not be Camelot's queen," he said simply. The council reacted calmer than Arthur thought they would, some even looked unsurprised.

"Do you have another bride in mind?" A lord asked, leaning forward eagerly. The council watched him with bated breath.

"No. Just-" Arthur sighed, sweeping a hand through his fringe. "Not Lady Teith."

Lord Teith harrumphed and leant back in his seat. Arthur cringed at his indelicacy. Merlin felt his stomach clench with the effort not to laugh.

"My apologies for my crassness," Arthur said. "I just meant- It was an unsuited match."

Lord Teith and his faction were slightly miffed but nowhere near as disappointed as Arthur feared they would be. In fact, most of the council seemed relieved by his choice. Arthur thought about it and realised that Lord Teith gaining such power would disadvantage the rest of them.

Arthur left feeling unburdened, he even smiled on his way out.

The council members were unhappy that Arthur was readily discarding certain choices whilst still no closer to finding a wife. They were getting anxious, his refusal of Lady Teith had narrowed the pool and Arthur seemed hesitant to choose from the ladies left.

Arthur compromised and said he would introduce himself to Lady Kettering after Queen Annis left.

To Merlin's disbelief and annoyance, as soon as Arthur had closed the meeting he told Merlin to get back to his chores. It was a few days worth of tasks. The treaty talks were imminent and Merlin was hurt that Arthur had put an effort into ensuring he wouldn't be there. Arthur had told Gareth, the stable boy, to expect Merlin around now.

Merlin stomped his way down to the stables. He cleaned the stables out and did a few other odd jobs whilst he was there.

He brushed Llamrei, his touch gentle. He ranted as he brushed, confiding in her and asking if she knew why Arthur was being such a prat this time. Llamrei whickered in response and pressed her muzzle into Merlin's other, empty hand. It drew a smile from Merlin.

It took Merlin two days to do all the stupid jobs Arthur had assigned, he didn't even have time to question Arthur about the treaty and it grated on him that Arthur had done it on purpose.

By the third day, Merlin had managed to pass the rest of his chores onto other servants, he used magic on some and discarded the ones he thought Arthur wouldn't find out about.

Arthur and Queen Annis had started that day’s session in the early morning and had been in there for hours. Merlin didn't know what to do with himself. Why had Arthur pushed him away? Had he done something to upset him? Had Annis said something?

There were only a few knights who weren't in attendance at the meeting discussing this mysterious treaty and Merlin wasn't on friendly enough terms with them to strike up a conversation. Merlin thought about introducing himself to them but ended up pacing outside the council room where the treaty negotiations were ongoing instead.

Arthur had never shut Merlin out of a discussion so abruptly before and it was making him anxious as time dragged on and the doors to the room remained firmly shut.

Finally, the doors opened and everyone flooded out. Camelot's council looked displeased and Merlin was about to panic when he saw Arthur side by side with Annis; he was positively glowing with joy. Annis looked equally happy and the knights trailing out looked befuddled. Annis' men were unreadable, passing by brusquely.

Brow furrowed, Merlin lingered in the window alcove as Arthur finished up his conversation with Annis.

"As soon as I get back to Caerleon I'll honour my half of the treaty," Annis promised.

"Castle Fyrien is yours to claim whenever you wish. I'll vacate my men stationed there immediately."

They nodded at one another in a friendly manner. The corridor cleared, leaving only Arthur. Merlin emerged from the shadows, misunderstanding melting into fury.

"You gave up Castle Fyrien!"

"Hello, Merlin."

"It's Camelot's best trade route to the East. Why? Arthur! What were you thinking?" Merlin exclaimed. "Not to mention the tunnels! If Annis ever becomes an enemy they could easily attack Camelot from below."

Arthur looked amused and waited patiently for Merlin to run out of steam, his arms crossed.

"Arthur!" Merlin shouted, prompting an answer from Arthur who shrugged.

"Caerleon has repealed its ban on magic."

Merlin floundered, mouth agape. "What?"

Arthur tried not to smirk.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Merlin asked.

"I knew giving up Castle Fyrien was the only way Annis would allow magic back and even then I had my doubts that she'd agree to the terms. I didn't want to get your hopes up needlessly. I also wasn't totally sure if you would be in favour of it."

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, like you said, Castle Fyrien is an important link to Camelot's trade. It was worth it though."

Merlin remained gobsmacked, mind running to catch up with the information.

Arthur had traded something very valuable to ensure magic users are free in a _different kingdom._ Once the information had sunk in, it hit him suddenly. This was no mere crush.

This wasn't the kittenish love he'd felt for Freya or the fleeting fancy he had for Gwaine. His heart felt ready to explode out of his chest and Arthur's pleased, but shy, smile was making the butterflies in Merlin's stomach riot. The implications that Arthur had arranged the repeal partly for Merlin was threatening to make him swoon. His flustered realisation was cut short.

"I'm starved, go get me something to eat," Arthur ordered, to cover the sentimental moment.

"Can't you get your own? I've been doing jobs all day," Merlin remarked cheekily, trying to hide how jittery he felt.

"Don't be ridiculous. Get yourself something while you're at it, have you eaten? You look ready to faint. I can't have Annis thinking I don't feed my servants."

"Annis won't be eating with you?"

"No. I offered but the wheel has been fixed and she said she needs to be going. She'll be leaving soon and I intend to see her off, so you better hurry."

They both adjourned to Arthur's room. The meal was a quick one of crusty bread, yellow cheese and a flagon of wine. Merlin had even managed to filch _two_ apples from the kitchen. Although it was rushed there was something faintly domestic about the meal. Arthur poured Merlin a small amount of wine.

Arthur heard the Caerleon delegation readying to leave and hurried to the courtyard. He pedalled down the steps to join them.

Annis was stood by her horse. "Thank you for obliging our stay," she said.

"It was no problem, truly," Arthur reassured.

Annis' hands gripped the reins and she mounted her horse, the others copied. The wagon had been rolled out of the blacksmith’s and restocked with food from Camelot's kitchens. The gate opened.

Arthur bid them safe travels and waved them off.

Arthur decided to put off any further duties until the next day and went to check on his falcon instead. He allowed Merlin to tag along.

Merlin would never admit it but he was very excited as it was the first time he was allowed to see the elusive falcon.

Falconry was a hobby Arthur had started when he began to recover from his grief. He'd been very possessive and secretive about his falconry practice, he would often disappear for hours at a time to train them, so Merlin was more than intrigued and happy to be included.

The falcon was on its perch. Merlin thought the perch must've been specially made; this hobby was clearly more beloved than Merlin had assumed. He had wondered if the secrecy had been to irritate him but he could see now it was a side effect of Arthur's adoration.

"It's beautiful," Merlin said, admiring the bird. "What type of falcon is it?"

Arthur smiled a little. "It's a Merlin."

Merlin's head snapped up to look at him. Arthur put on a thick padded glove as he explained.

"It's the smallest falcon, so it's not one of the more popular choices for falconry. Another reason might be because it's considered a ladyhawk. Most other monarchs prefer the larger birds, but the merlin’s size means it is faster and is therefore better at catching prey quickly. Very handy for winning at hunting parties. Others always underestimate them." He adjusted the glove.

"They also have a very interesting flight style." Arthur moved towards the perch, he had a small piece of meat to lure the bird. It hopped onto his gloved hand, claws pin-pricking through the material. "I'll get her to demonstrate."

"Her?" Merlin questioned as Arthur readied the bird for flight.

"Yes, Merlin. She's a girl." And with that she was off, swooping into the air, elegant wings splayed as she commanded the sky.

"As I said, it's not a favourite among the nobility. Hawks are actually the most popular but," He shrugged as he gazed up at it. "I like my merlin."

Merlin watched the bird swoop lower, closer to the field in search of prey. It hovered in the air, so calculated and still that Merlin worried for a moment that he'd frozen time. He looked to Arthur and was relieved to see Arthur smile at him before turning to look at the sky.

The bird was poised, wings pointed, the dappled markings on its feathers and the stripes on its underbelly just visible from where Merlin stood.

The bird hovered for a while then responded to Arthur's whistle, flying back to him when she was called.

Merlin understood why Arhur spent so much time out in the field with the bird. It was touching to see how fond Arthur was of the falcon, stroking the merlin's head with surprising gentleness.

Arthur was pleased in turn when Merlin fed the falcon a tidbit. Merlin had flapped a little and jerked back when the incredible wing span had revealed itself again when Merlin approached it.

Arthur had laughed. "Come on, Merlin. She won't bite. Just hold it out more."

The warm smile Arthur directed at him afterwards had sent a flutter through Merlin and the satisfaction had stayed with him for the rest of the evening.

&&&&&&&&

Arthur spent the night complaining, lamenting that he’d be spending his day courting yet another noble.

"This must be the hundredth date I'm going to be forced to endure," Arthur moaned. "I don't know how Gwaine finds the effort to court so many women simultaneously, it's exhausting."

"I don't think Gwaine exactly courts them," Merlin muttered.

Arthur snorted, smile brightening his face.

"You have to marry though." Merlin paused, crouched by the fireplace, the flames casting shadows that dragged along his features like a caress. "Maybe you should just marry me to get it over with," he joked.

"Yes, perhaps I should," Arthur said, a peculiar look in his eyes.

Merlin stood and dusted off his pants.

"So which lady is next?" Merlin asked.

Arthur deflated a little as he sighed, "Lady Kettering. She wants to have a go at archery."

"Archery?" Merlin's sooty eyelashes blinked in surprise. "Don't tell me she loves hunting too."

"I don't know, I guess I'll find out." Arthur sounded the very opposite of enthusiastic.

Lady Kettering had a snub nose, long, pale, flaxen hair and huge, dark eyes that seemed unblinking. Despite her supremely feminine looks, she was as battle hardened and as skilled as any one of Arthur's knights.

She was magnificent as she impressed upon everyone her mastery of the longstaff.

She was happy to train by herself, doing it for the enjoyment rather than the attention which allowed Arthur to slink off for a chat with Merlin. They stood together and chatted in low tones, mostly exchanging comments on unrelated things. Every now and then Arthur would slip something in about Lady Kettering.

Arthur was pleasantly surprised by her but still seemed uncertain; she was bright and full of youth. She was ten years his junior and the council thought her the perfect candidate. In many ways, she was.

She was beautiful, athletic, and had shared interests with the king. Arthur was concerned she would be wasted as his wife, she had so much potential at this point in her life and her technique in the martial arts was flawless. She had so many options before her.

Arthur still felt his heart was too struck by Gwen to consider falling in love with Lady Kettering and as Merlin had pointed out, most young ladies wouldn't be happy in a loveless marriage.

He watched as she sparred. She had pinned the hem of her dress up, making sure it wouldn't snag or hinder her footwork but it still flayed out as she spun, her long hair swung behind her as she ducked out of the way of a jab.

She brought her sword up and smiled as it hovered by the knights neck, the tip of her blade kissing the skin there. It was one of the greener knights but Lady Kettering was still very impressive. She was a model example of what a knight should be. Her skill, and decorum, were intriguing.

"She's better than you are," Merlin commented.

Arthur made an indignant noise and was about to retort when Lady Kettering came over to them.

"I bet I can beat you in a duel," Lady Kettering said with a daring smile.

Arthur considered it but he could see Merlin smirking at him and decided against it. "I'm sure you could, my lady, however I think it wise not to test it."

Lady Kettering seemed disappointed with his reply but soon hopped off. Her enthusiasm hadn't dampened at Arthur's response.

"Are you really worried she'd best you?" Merlin asked.

"No," Arthur said but Merlin waggled his eyebrows in teasing doubt.

Whilst they were talking, Lady Kettering picked up a mace. She had never used one before and cheerfully commanded that she try it now.

She didn't care about impressing the king, the royal armoury was extensive and Lady Kettering didn't have access to some of the weapons she currently had at arms reach. She wanted to use this opportunity wisely.

She asked if there was someone willing to help her practice. Arthur, feeling teasingly vengeful, offered Merlin up.

"Merlin will help you, my lady. He loves mace practice," Arthur said, a blatant lie and an obvious one to anyone that knew Merlin. Lady Kettering was none the wiser and smiled brightly at Merlin as he reluctantly went over to her.

She was very well practiced in most things however it was clear she'd never used a mace before. She said she hadn't but considering how she excelled in other similar areas, her method was surprisingly sloppy and her hits so hard that Merlin grew unsteady under them.

Lady Kettering wasn't one to back away from a challenge but in her enthusiasm to get it right, her frustration at not managing it got directed into sharp blows and inevitably Merlin fell but Lady Kettering didn't stop.

Arthur rushed over, guilt clenched his heart. Merlin hadn’t attempted to get up. Arthur's emotions were torn between concern for Merlin and his annoyance with Lady Kettering.

"I think that's enough training for today, my lady," Arthur said in a cool tone though he was not collected enough for the terseness in the statement to be completely hidden.

Arthur helped Merlin back to his feet. He patted him, then let go.

"Are you alright?" Arthur asked him.

Merlin nodded with a slight wince.

"Serves you right," Arthur said. His joking tone fell flat, the concern in his voice outweighed the intended lightness.

Lady Kettering had dropped the mace, horrified that she hadn't realised she'd beaten Merlin half into the ground.

She came forward. "I-I'm so sorry. I was so focused on- I didn't realise."

"It's alright," Merlin dismissed. She loitered, unconvinced.

The damage had been done. Practice was cut short and they made their way off the field. Lady Kettering was still flicking worried glances toward Merlin, seemingly more bothered about him than her loss of the king's favour. She went on ahead of them, head bowed.

"I never knew you cared so much," Merlin teased. They were the last to trail off the training grounds.

"What do you mean?" Arthur asked.

"You've been glaring holes in her head ever since mace training," Merlin told him in a reproving tone.

"Well, she did nearly kill you," Arthur pointed out, eyes still assessing Merlin. Merlin had a tendency to say he was fine when he wasn't, Arthur knew because it was something that he did as well and was often scolded for.

"By accident," Merlin reminded him.

Arthur shot him a look. Merlin feared this incident would strike Lady Kettering off before she had a chance. Merlin could see the potential in the pairing and tried to sway Arthur to her side.

"She made a mistake. Don't you remember when you were like that?" Merlin appealed.

"I never make mistakes," Arthur said stubbornly. Merlin gave him a knowing smile then pursed his lips.

Arthur rolled his eyes.

He challenged Merlin to a game of chess when they reached his chambers. It was one of Arthur's favourite pastimes, aside from when he snuck off to visit his falcon. Arthur had already started setting up the game, hastily putting rooks and pawns on the coloured checks, before Merlin could protest.

Merlin displayed his intelligence, gaining knights and Arthur's bishop.

"Checkmate," Merlin said, leaning back into his chair. The fire roared on the hearth, taking away the annoyance Arthur would feel at Merlin's smug look, in favour of admiring how the shadows curled over his face and how his eyes reflected the flame.

Arthur pushed away from the table. "I'm going to ask Lady Balworth to attend me on a walk around the castle grounds."

"Bit of a sore loser, hm?" Merlin taunted.

"Ha, ha. No. I have a duty to fulfill and a council to avoid," Arthur said. He looked at Merlin who was still lazing in the seat.

"Well, get up. Didn't you hear me? We're going for an evening stroll with Lady Balworth."

"Hurry up, Merlin," Arthur said, pulling his gloves on as he slipped through the door. Merlin stumbled after him.

Lady Balworth was surprised to find the king knocking on her door but happy to accept the invitation. She was more than willing to keep it low key, she didn't want to venture too far as the evening had already begun to draw in so staying near the castle grounds suited her. She could return to her reading once they'd taken a few turns around the walls.

As she walked, Arthur noticed how beautiful she was. He'd noticed it in the hall as well but her warm earthy, russet skin and her shy smile against the backdrop of the snow drew his eye to her. Her cloak was secured by a brooch and her hair was covered by a linen veil under her hood.

The walk was a brisk one but long enough for Arthur to learn Lady Balworth's character. She was soft spoken and kind hearted. She loved her family and valued them above all else. She enjoyed reading and had many commendable achievements and hobbies. Like Merlin, she also disagreed with hunting for sport.

She also had a younger sister.

"She often watches the knights when they practice. She wants to be a knight," Lady Balworth explained. "I've tried to tell her it's unlikely but my father indulges her, she got a wooden sword for her birthday."

"Well, if she still wants to become a knight in a few years time she would be welcome in Camelot's ranks," Arthur replied.

Merlin walked with them, talking to Lady Balworth. It seemed they had many things in common. Merlin's red cloak, the one Arthur had given him, flapped as he gestured and talked with enthusiasm. They were a striking pair of red and blue walking along the snow dusted ground.

Arthur was happy to see Lady Balworth had no prejudice against servants. She conversed happily with Merlin, discussing various topics.

He watched them chatting away. It made him think of Gwen, of when it was her talking to Merlin. He used to watch their dark heads bent together as they gossiped and laughed. Gwen had always been benevolent and giving, as a queen and as a maid.

Arthur lingered back for a moment, mind clouded with memories of her smile.

His gaze turned to Merlin, he was smiling at whatever Lady Balworth was saying. It lessened the pang in Arthur’s heart, the grief had softened many months ago into something more bearable. The thought of Gwen brought wistful melancholy rather than sharp pain, time had replaced the ache with nostalgia.

Arthur imagined a similar situation, everything was the same but Lady Balworth held the title of Queen of Camelot. It would suit her. She was just and peace seeking, like Arthur, and kind and wise, like Gwen.

He thought Gwen would approve of Lady Balworth. Yet Lady Harreth was a stronger contender and Arthur found conversation came easier with her than it did with Lady Balworth.

Merlin looked up, throat exposed. Arthur watched as Lady Balworth copied him, turning her eyes to the sky.

Snow started to fall, smudges of white were floating to the ground. It caught in Merlin's dark hair, the cold had flushed his pale cheeks and made the dark blue of his eyes shine. Lady Balworth looked equally lovely, snowflakes dappled her cloak.

They retired as the snow thickened, retreating to the warmth of the castle. Arthur excused himself to his room.

Arthur watched the snow fall from his window, the red curtains obscuring half the view. The flicker of candle lights reflected in the window pane, muted disks of light blurred the snow.

Arthur looked over his shoulder to find Merlin secretly reading the book Arthur had given him for his birthday. He was bent over it, eyes intent on the page. He hadn't even attempted to fake polishing the table, the cloth lay abandoned. Arthur smiled privately and turned back to the window.


	3. February

FEBRUARY

February had come to Camelot, much to Merlin's worry. 

His worries, about how time had slipped away and how little progress Arthur had made on the wife front, were eclipsed by the celebration of Imbolc. 

This was the first time Camelot had celebrated Imbolc in over 30 years. The Old Religion had been restored when magic had been legalised but the impact of the great wars had prevented any elaborate celebrations until now. Even those that did not believe were excited for the coming event, to see what it involved and to join in. 

Arthur had planned two events for Imbolc and Merlin anticipated them with great excitement. First, there was to be a clootie blessing and after the sun had set, a candle mass was to take place. Merlin's enthusiasm was dampened by the council insisting Arthur use this opportunity to secure a bride. Lady Renwick would be accompanying them for the majority of the day. 

The Clootie Ceremony had started. 

A weak, sickly light filtered through the trees, covering the woods in a dim, filmy glow. The snow had thinned, most of it had melted away. The river, which had been covered in a fine sheen of ice a few weeks ago, now flowed sluggishly, a slow but constant movement. Either side of the river was dotted with people, all of whom had a scrap of material in hand, waiting to dip it in the water, then tie it to a tree. 

"You know," Merlin started conversationally. "Apparently when you tie the ribbon on, the wish you make comes true." 

It was something Merlin remembered his mother telling him. 

Arthur scoffed. "Really Merlin, who has been filling your head with such girlish nonsense." 

"You don't believe it? I'm not sure if I do. Still, best to give it a go right?" Merlin crouched down and dipped a blue ribbon in the water. His fingers smarted at the shock of the cold water and he struggled to tie it to the tree. 

He noted that Arthur was watching him from the corner of his eye, much to Lady Renwick's disdain. 

She yapped at Arthur's inattention, her loose hair flew in the wind and knocked against Arthur's face. Arthur looked momentarily entranced by Lady Renwick until his focus returned to the ceremony. He quickly wet a red ribbon and snuck off for a moment to make his prayer in solitude.

Merlin already made his wish- He suspected many of the villagers hoped for a good harvest and that the nobles asked for Arthur's favour or more money to line their pockets. Merlin wished he could say his wish wasn't so egocentric but it was as selfish as anyone else's. 

He prayed that Arthur would marry and grow to love whoever became his bride, he wished that they would be happily wed. He also asked, that if his prayer came true, for the endurance he knew he would need to watch Arthur cherish another, to spend a lifetime serving them both and to be content with what he had. 

His eyes opened and he glanced over at Arthur who had just finished tying his own ribbon onto a tree, a very thoughtful expression diffused his features. Upon seeing Merlin's curious gaze he came over to ask about the nature of the wishes. 

"Do they really come true?" Arthur seemed almost nervous. 

"Why? Did you wish someone dead?" Merlin teased. Arthur didn't seem amused and made his way to the knights. 

Merlin's eye caught on Lady Renwick, she had made an unusual gesture then pressed a hand to her chest. For a minute it seemed to glow but she had turned slightly at the same time, Merlin assumed it was just the sun reflecting off her jewelry. 

She skipped over to Arthur with a flirty countenance. Her hands touched his back and for a moment Arthur's eyes clouded over. His expression cleared and his attention was returned to the knights just as Gwaine fell in the river, a stream of swear words leaving his mouth. 

Arthur laughed heartily and helped Gwaine to his feet and made a light comment about Gwaine's sobriety, or lack thereof. Lady Renwick was frowning, looking perplexed and annoyed. Merlin made a note to keep watch on her. 

After the Clootie ceremony, a banquet was held to pass the time until sun down. It was a very lax and simple affair. Most nobles helped themselves to things rather than waiting for a servant to do it. Merlin was met with surprise at seeing some of the older and more refined nobles pouring their own drinks and picking at platters. 

The commoners in the lower town didn't wait for sunset to start their celebrations, the evening had already dimmed the sky enough for the great bonfire that had been completed not too far from the village square. Gwaine had snuck out to sample both the wine and the women, Merlin had also joined the gathering and Arthur had followed in secret.

They had been handed a tankard of ale each. Gwaine was currently skipping around the fire with some of the villagers. He was paying particular attention to a pretty blonde woman who encouraged him with playful smiles. Merlin watched on in amusement. 

Arthur had slipped away. He’d gone down the back of a hidden alley. It was a shortcut to The Rising Sun which had been supplying the drinks to the revelers.

Lady Renwick had crept after him to accost him. Arthur let a startled noise slip as she pressed him against the wall. Her lips were puckered and her fingers gripped him. She had shocked Arthur so much that he remained inactive for a moment before managing to disengage himself from her. 

Flustered, he hurried away from her as quickly as he could. He didn't look back and luckily she didn't follow him. Arthur downed a pint when he got to the tavern then ordered two more, one was intended for Merlin and the other was to be saved until he was closer to the bonfire. 

The people were merry with drink and fuzzy from the warmth emanating from the bonfire. Gwaine was lazing contentedly to one side, Merlin was sat beside him. Merlin was pleasantly surprised at Arthur's thoughtfulness and took the drink from him and smiled. 

On the way back to the castle, Gwaine stumbled and Merlin fussed and flapped around Arthur, vigorously smoothing his hair in an attempt to make him look presentable. 

No one commented on them as they entered the hall though there was an air of disapproval. Arthur ordered the candlemas to start. 

The servants went around, carrying a flame. The nobles held the candle outwards for them to touch the fire and burn. 

At last, all the candles were lit. There were so many in the room that the chamber was bursting with light- a heavy contrast to the darkened evening. They shone, flames dancing on their small wicks. Shadows were cast over everyone's faces and a moment of silence enveloped the room as everyone watched the transformation caused by the candles. 

Merlin looked at them all, someone held theirs above their head and everyone copied. It was like glimmering stars had entered the chamber. The wax dripped and people slowly put the candles back down, satisfied with the beautiful display. The candles were meant to burn for as long as possible, nobles put them in candelabras and sconces before turning back to the banquet or taking a turn around the hall.

Chatter filtered softly back into the room, conversations about the ribbon ceremony and the candles, the food and the latest fashions for ladies all echoed and overlapped. 

The nobles muttered amongst themselves and Merlin heard a hushed voice mention the rumpled state Arthur had arrived in, then directed their eyes to Lady Renwick and her late arrival. Merlin noted that Lord Dryden was looking very content, a weasley expression on his face. 

Merlin felt a rumour would soon start making the rounds. 

Merlin knew Arthur had not lain with anyone, let alone Lady Renwick, but the rest of the court seemed more doubtful and understandably so; when Arthur had arrived- late, alongside Merlin and Gwaine- he had looked slightly worse for wear, his eyes had been glassy and his hair ruffled, under the candle light his lips had looked softer, shiny. 

Lady Renwick had also entered late, hair equally disheveled and a look of debauchery about her that had set a titter around the room. 

The two had found each other and remained close during the evening which did nothing to quell the rumour that would no doubt be all over Camelot by the morning. Merlin couldn't fathom why they stuck together seeing as they barely seemed to speak. Arthur had a very odd expression, one that denoted confusion and possibly- though Merlin couldn't be sure from where he was standing- a sort of dazed elation. That could just be the effect of the alcohol. For all his boasting, Arthur couldn't handle his liquor at all. Merlin often watered the wine jug down when he served Arthur. 

Arthur drifted along beside Lady Renwick. Although he was veritably _not_ attracted to her, he felt an odd sensation that kept drawing him to her. He went unwillingly.

When Lady Renwick drew near to him, Arthur mirrored, leaning into her. They appeared to be in close confidence, their arms brushed and Arthur seemed dizzy with feeling. From any other perspective, it would look like he was infatuated. 

The two had finally separated for a moment, Arthur lingered by the banquet table. Merlin made his way over, whilst he was still alone, but Lady Renwick anticipated this and tripped him as he neared the table Arthur was stood by. 

Merlin stumbled and started to fall but unfortunately- or fortunately depending on how one looked at it, Arthur had turned and taken a step closer to reach for the pears which meant Merlin landed on Arthur, chests crashing together. Arthur grabbed Merlin's waist to steady him and out of surprise, Merlin's arms windmilled before going around Arthur's neck, clinging on and trying to get his balance back. 

"Merlin," Arthur started. "What are you doing, you clumsy idiot?" 

"S-sorry," Merlin stuttered, removing himself from Arthur. He'd been a hairbreadth away from Arthur, tangled up with him like a lover for a brief moment and now his stomach was somersaulting like he was going to be sick. 

"Are you okay?" Arthur asked, concerned. 

Merlin looked over his shoulder at Lady Renwick, who was scowling at them. "Yes, I'm fine." 

The evening was drawing to an end. Lady Renwick retired early, positively glowing as she left.

Deciding to look into the oddity, Merlin spied on Lady Renwick, silently treading in her footsteps, halting whenever he felt she would turn around. She never did, she paved a determined path back to her room. She closed the door with uncontained glee. 

Merlin tiptoed closer and put his ear against the door. 

"I heard some whisperings as I left. I think it's been a success," he heard Lady Renwick say. Merlin's brows pulled together. Who was she talking to? 

"Did you sleep with him?" A male voice asked. It sounded familiar, Merlin leaned closer.

"No." She sounded put out. "Your stupid charm didn't work. He ran away from me when I finally managed to get him alone."

The man huffed.

"Still, you saw how disheveled we both were and we were both late to the celebration. The charm seemed to work in keeping him close to me. I couldn't even go over to you, he kept clinging to me like a lamprey all evening," she complained.

"The rumours are flying already. I'll announce my pregnancy in a few weeks and then he'll be sure to marry me," Lady Renwick continued assuredly.

"Just like I planned." Merlin finally put a name to the voice. It was Lord Dryden. No wonder he had looked so pleased earlier. "You'll have to seduce Arthur at some point, convince him the child is his. He's an honourable man but I doubt he'd marry you just to save face."

A beat passed, only some rustling noises could be heard.

"Do you think it'll be a boy or a girl?" Lady Renwick asked. Merlin could imagine her stroking her stomach. It made him feel sick. 

"Who cares," Lord Dryden replied gruffly. "It's mine and it'll be the ruler of Camelot." 

Lady Renwick made a strange noise, a startled gasp followed by a delighted giggle. Lord Dryden grunted and Merlin was left bewildered, it wasn't until the noises were continuous and much louder that Merlin realised they were of a carnal nature. Merlin hastily retreated with disgust from the door, ears burning from what he'd heard. 

It explained Lady Renwick's behaviour. She assumed she would become queen anyway, her coquettish behaviour was to encourage rumours. The plan to trap Arthur into a marriage, though ingenuous, would ultimately fail. Merlin would make sure of it. 

And thank God, Merlin thought. If he hadn't discovered their plan he would've had to wait on Lady Renwick. Merlin supposed Arthur's life and his reign would end prematurely if he had married Lady Renwick. 

He resolved to tell Arthur immediately. 

He pulled Arthur aside. His daze had mostly worn off but it still took a little convincing to persuade him to see the truth. Arthur had been tight and rigid afterward, the lax ease he had floated in all day was chipping off as he regained his colder, regal exterior. Merlin mourned having to drag Arthur out of his happier state but he had to tell him about Lady Renwick. 

To Arthur, it was just yet another betrayal. 

Neither of them slept well that night. 

The next morning Lord Dryden was called to court. He looked proud and stood tall. Underneath it, he seemed nervous. 

"I've heard, on very good authority, that you have a scheme in place to force me to marry Lady Renwick who is apparently your mistress and carrying your child," Arthur began and before he'd finished Lord Dryden was protesting loudly. 

"Lies and slander! Fallacious accusations!" He declared, outraged. 

"Lady Renwick's conduct has caused several rumours. I am sure, had Lady Renwick revealed herself to be with child a few weeks from now that many people would presume it to be mine," Arthur continued. "I have two separate accounts of you helping spread these rumours, which gives credence to the detailed report I was given about a conversation between you and Lady Renwick discussing this plan." 

"Falsehoods, sire, all of it. They must've heard wrong or heard someone else, I would never-"

"I know the informant to be a most honest and loyal subject. They would not fabricate such a ruse," Arthur said with fire, wearied by Lord Dryden's pretense.

Lord Dryden grew redder and redder until his hand twitched and he removed his glove. Arthur stood straighter and Merlin anxiously shuffled closer to Arthur. 

Arthur stared Lord Dryden down, daring him to instigate a duel. Lord Dryden could see very clearly both the wish to goad him into a fight and also the warning against it in Arthur's eyes. The cold expression and slight curling of Arthur's lip forged a merciless look. Lord Dryden put his glove back on. 

“Sire,” Lord Dryden began placatingly before he pulled something out of his pocket and then, to everyone's astonishment, disappeared.

There was a faint smell of burnt sage and a lingering glimmer in the air from where Lord Dryden had been stood not five seconds before. 

Arthur sent a small group of knights to check the citadel but they came back empty handed. 

Arthur released an official statement banning him from Camelot and set about confiscating Dryden's land. Arthur planned to redistribute it to another lord but he hesitated, unsure who to give the land to. He decided it would be better not to give it away yet, he could use it to tempt the council into better behaviour.

Arthur excused Lady Renwick from court immediately after settling Dryden's sentence. A relative whisked her away to the deep countryside. She was to leave that afternoon. Merlin would be glad to see her gone. 

&&&&&

Arthur and Lady Kettering were getting on spectacularly; having gotten over that first hiccup about Merlin and the mace, they found that they had many interests in common.

They were currently passing the time with archery. She matched him arrow for arrow and hit the bullseye multiple times. 

Afterwards, they discussed different types of swords and the best way to throw an axe, they even went over battle strategy at one point. All of the knights were very impressed with not only her skills but her knowledge as well. 

Arthur had warmed to Lady Kettering and found her a remarkable young woman. He was wary, though, that she was under the impression that there was something beyond friendship involved in their meetings. He did wish for a bride but his belief from yuletide remained the same; his next marriage would be one of convenience and that was all. 

By the fourth date, Arthur felt compelled to tell Lady Kettering that he didn't plan on marrying for love. It didn't go down well. 

At first she thought he was joking. Once it sunk in that he wasn't, she looked puzzled. 

"Why are you remarrying then?" She asked. 

Arthur paused, did she not know? "The druid warning..." He started. 

"Yes, yes. I understand needing to marry to prevent your death but why not just marry anyone? A friend or a prearranged match? Why go through all this if you aren't also hoping to find love?" 

Arthur blinked. "Well I- It seemed the best option. The council compiled a group of eligible ladies. It seemed the most plausible option for finding a bride quickly. I don't have anyone to make a prearranged marriage with." 

She let that sink in. "I see." 

Her eyes surveyed him as she asked her final question. "Are you sure you'll never fall in love again?" 

Arthur looked at her with regret and a soft smile. "You are enchanting and wonderful and someday you will find a man who can love you with his whole heart but I'm not him. My heart is still, at least in part, with Gwen and always will be. I'm sorry."

Lady Kettering swallowed. "I understand. I hope that in turn, you understand why I cannot continue with this." 

Arthur would miss having someone in his court that actually spoke their mind, Merlin was the only other person that did. 

"Of course. I'm sorry if I have caused you any pain." 

"You haven't," she assured him. "But I'm glad you told me." 

"If you ever want to use any weapons from the armoury, they are at your disposal," Arthur said.

She brightened at that, face lighting up. "Thank you." 

The council struck off yet another name from the list of potential wives. 

Arthur decided to fall back on one of the more reliable ladies. Lady Balworth wished to visit the snowdrops and Merlin, also wanting to see them, had accompanied the two on a trip into the woods. 

They stopped by a large bank of them. The flowers dappled the green grass like drifts of snow, an abundance of them littered the woodland. Merlin loved it. 

Lady Balworth looked both elegant and regal as she bent down to brush the snowdrops lightly with the back of her hand. A delighted smile graced her mouth.

She was studious and a little shy but Merlin felt she could grow to become a good conversationalist and a good influence on Arthur. At present, Merlin preferred Lady Harreth, mostly because she seemed to be Arthur's favourite. 

Merlin thought back to his wish from the Clootie ceremony and looked over at Arthur, expecting him to be watching Lady Balworth. He was startled to find Arthur's gaze on him instead. Arthur gave him a lopsided smile before moving over to Lady Balworth. She smiled timidly at him and they walked around the snowdrops, too busy admiring the flowers to talk. She was a mix of the Gwen Merlin first knew and the Gwen that sat on the throne. Lady Balworth had the shyness but also all the grace. 

Arthur seemed happier than he had at the beginning of the day. It made Merlin ponder further on Lady Balworth and whether she would be a better queen than Lady Harreth. 

Merlin wanted Arthur to have another chance at love and he didn't know which of the two Arthur would have a more companionable reign with. He supposed either would suffice but Merlin wanted Arthur to thrive.

Merlin missed Gwen, she had made Arthur thrive. Picking another to fill her role seemed wrong but Merlin admitted that he thought it'd do Arthur good to remarry. No one could ever truly replace Gwen but for Arthur to have someone supportive, reliable, independent and capable would be a relief for Merlin and the council too. 

Merlin had to constantly remind himself that this was a good thing for Arthur and for Camelot. He knew both Harreth and Balworth to be kind and very similar to Gwen in their aspects- they both cared about the treatment of the servants and the well being of Camelot's people. They both seemed amiable enough and would probably be good at making treaties or at the very least, appeasing neighbouring kingdoms.

"I remember you said you liked reading and stories. Have you heard the Voyage of Bran?" Arthur said in the hopes of starting a conversation. 

"Oh, no. I haven't. Is it like the poem Y Gododdin?" Lady Balworth asked.

"Oh, I'm not sure. I've never read Y Gododdin. I don't tend to read poetry." 

Merlin inched closer. 

Arthur tried again. "Well um, what about Lludd and Llefelys?" 

Merlin could see Balworth hesitating. He stepped into the conversation. 

"Ah yes, Lludd and Llefelys. I love that one. They are brothers in the story. One is king of France, the other of England. Lludd's kingdom gets overcome by three plagues. The first plague is caused by the Coraniaid, a demon race. Lludd asks his brother for help. Llefelys makes a potion that, when sprinkled on the demons, destroys them." 

"The second plague, this part of the story is Arthur's favourite, is a dreadful screaming that terrifies the people. It's discovered it's caused by two dragons fighting. Lludd gets the dragons drunk on mead and imprisons them in a mountain. Lludd was very brave upon seeing the dragons, unlike someone we both know." 

"You promised never to bring that up again! Merlin!" Arthur was smiling though. 

"You met a dragon?" Lady Balworth seemed star struck. 

"Yes. They really aren't as scary as people think," Arthur said. 

Merlin scoffed. "You were close to tears, Arthur. I was worried you'd faint on me when I introduced you to Killi." 

"Did not," Arthur argued.

"Did too!" Merlin elbowed him lightly, in a teasing manner. 

"Oh please, Merlin. I'm not some fainting maid. If anyone's a girl, it's you." 

They ended up staring at each other but it was with fondness and not irritation.

"What was the third plague?" Lady Balworth interrupted.

"Oh. The third plague, yes." Merlin felt a flush coming to his face and wished he had a spell to stop it. "King Lludd's provisions and food kept disappearing. Eventually he figured out it was a sorcerer stealing them and made the sorcerer serve him." 

Both Merlin and Arthur had quietened at the last plague. It used to be Arthur's favourite part of the story when he was younger, an evil sorcerer being made to serve the king. It didn't seem so funny now.

"That's terrible," Lady Balworth said, picking up on the solemn mood. Merlin feared to ask which bit she thought was terrible and so he changed the subject.

"It's rumoured that the person who created Lludd and Llefelys is writing one about you," Merlin said.

"Me?" Arthur seemed incredulous. "I doubt it."

The sky above them rumbled, stopping the conversation. Dark grey clouds made the sky murky and rain soon started to fall. They quickly made their way back to the castle. 

Arthur had taken his clothes off and Merlin had hung them near the fire to dry off. Merlin had also changed, his neckerchief left in his room and a new shirt covering his chest. He had to peel the first one off, they'd gotten drenched on the way back. He had obsessively asked Arthur if he was okay, if he felt too cold or too hot, if he was hungry, if he was feeling well. 

"It was just some rain, Merlin. I'm fine," Arthur had said. 

"Yes but-" Merlin started. 

" _Mer_ lin," Arthur warned.

"Yes, sire. Shutting up, sire." Arthur nodded and leant his head against the wooden back of the chair. 

The rain kept on almost continuously for three days, giving Arthur the opportunity to stall the council and any more dates. The storm finally passed and with it's passing came the loss of Arthur's excuses. 

He spent an increasing amount of time hunched up in his rooms, desperate to avoid yet another discussion about his impending marriage. Merlin was too busy being anxious to entertain him. 

Merlin had a glazed over look, eyes glossy and blank as he stared at nothing. He was chewing on his mouth. 

"Merlin." 

He startled so hard his teeth nearly pierced straight through his lip. 

"What are you thinking about?" Arthur asked, which meant _what are you worrying about._

"All sorts of things," Merlin replied, which meant _I don't want to tell you._

Arthur sighed. "I will marry and I'll be fine. I wish you wouldn't worry so much." 

He watched Merlin. "But that isn't what's on your mind, is it? Come on, out with it." 

"It’s, I feel like..." Merlin huffed. "It sounds dumb but I feel like the Old Religion is trying to manoeuvre you where it wants you. I don't know why or how. But I'm worried. What's the game? Why is this happening _now?_ " 

Merlin bit his lip again, wincing at the sting. He wouldn't tell Arthur, he didn't want to disappoint him, but Merlin had a feeling the Disir had been lying about other methods and though Merlin hadn't found any alternatives to a cleansing ritual, he was adamant that it wasn't the only way. 

He didn't want to get Arthur's hopes up again. 

"It's best not to think of the why, Merlin. It'll only scramble your head. I have a duty to fulfill for the sake of myself and Camelot. I can't think of the why, the consequences are too dire to think of anything but the task at hand." 

Merlin nodded. Yes, he supposed it was for the best.

On the first sunny day, Arthur was pressured by his council to take Lady Amartha riding. 

Lady Amartha had been very strange about the whole thing. She seemed a very unstable character, she was enthusiastic for the date yet on the entire ride into the woods she was quiet and deliberating. 

They were quite far from Camelot when Lady Amartha pulled the reins on her horse, stopping abruptly in the middle of the road. Arthur and Merlin stopped also. 

"I would like to head into the forest. I know this area and I would like to show you something," she said. She was in front of them, her expression wasn't visible. The odd vibe intensified as she dismounted and took a sharp left into the woods. Stumbling to follow, Merlin and Arthur dismounted clumsily to catch up with her. 

They walked further into the forest, unable to see her. 

"Lady Amartha?" Arthur called. 

She appeared behind them, standing by a large boulder they had just passed. 

"Do you see this?" She asked, pointing to a patch of greenery.

Arthur looked to Merlin who looked just as nonplussed. 

"Lady Amartha, are you feeling alright?" 

She turned to him, head snapping towards his. Her eyes were haunted.

"That's where my family lay. In that unmarked patch of grass. They had magic. My younger sister was going to train with the Bendrui but she was killed before she could. She was twelve." Lady Amartha said, her fist clenched. "She was twelve!" She repeated, fury and anguish in her voice. 

Arthur blinked. Merlin was analysing the situation, thinking of the quickest way to disarm her and to remove Arthur from harm. 

Arthur stepped toward her, hand raised. "Lady Amartha, I'm sorry for your loss and for the treatment that people with magic have suffered, truly sorry. The ban on magic has been lifted in Camelot and soon will be in Caerleon too." Arthur said, attempting to placate her. He hoped the news about Caerleon would calm her but it seemed to rattle her, evoking her rage. She was buzzing with energy, restless, anger twitched around her. 

"It’s not enough," Lady Amartha spoke. "That will not amend the horrors of the past or atone for your father's sins. No amount of apologising will bring me back my family. Why do you deserve to live when they didn't?"

"You're a Pendragon and for that you deserve to die."

She flung her arms out, watery eyes flashing a bright gold as she attempted to kill the king. 

Merlin lunged into action, flinging her curse back at her. She dodged but her efforts to avoid her own spell gave Merlin the time he needed to bind her, his magic formed a chain around her arms, the force brought her to her knees. 

She was welded to the floor by the invisible power of Merlin's magic. She seethed. 

"Traitor!" She spat, a feral look on her face. 

Merlin flexed his fingers as he turned to Arthur who's vague shock was slowly wearing off. 

"What should we do with her?" Merlin questioned, tone sharp as practicality warred with emotion. 

"I don't know." Arthur's brow was furrowed. "I suppose we should bring her back to Camelot." 

"Why don't we just kill her here?" 

"Merlin!" 

"How is it any different to dragging her back to Camelot to her death? She's a traitor and a safety risk." Merlin’s eyebrow was a wicked curve and his face brooked no room for arguments. 

Arthur sighed. Merlin watched the agitated look on Arthur's face as Lady Amartha- if that was even her real name- wriggled in the background. 

"I could probably wipe her memory?" Merlin suggested. "It's never really been tested though, I've only done it once."

"On who?" 

Merlin looked sheepish. 

"What? When?" 

"It's for the best that you don't remember." Merlin tried not to wince. 

"Merlin." Arthur took a threatening step forward. 

Merlin pursed his lips. 

"I demand that you tell me." 

They bickered, unaware of Lady Amartha's magic slowly loosening Merlin's hold on her. She felt her magic tingle under her skin. She shirked the invisible bonds, freeing herself. She could've escaped but she only had one goal. 

It happened suddenly. Lady Amartha snapped up and propelled all her magic towards the king. 

Merlin used his own magic to throw Arthur out of the way as he brought up a protective barrier. His mouth moved quickly to disarm her but the barrier Merlin had put up ricocheted her own spell back at her. She died instantly. 

The honeycomb glow of magic hung in the air like cobwebs, the potency of the magical shield still staining the air. 

Merlin wavered, face pale. He went to check on Arthur who was still lying on his side. Arthur grunted. Hands clasped, they righted themselves. Arthur gingerly sat on a rock, Merlin's eyes did a sweeping assessment. He seemed satisfied. 

Merlin put a hand to his temple and groaned. He looked ashen. Arthur watched him with wide, concerned eyes. 

Merlin noticed and reassured him he was fine. "It was just too sudden, the amount of magic released, that's all. It was a powerful spell.” 

Merlin sat next to Arthur on the rock. Lady Amartha's body lay a few metres away. 

"This hasn't happened in so long," Merlin whispered.

"Magical exhaustion?" Arthur asked. 

"No. An attempt on your life by a sorcerer." Merlin's eyelids were lowered, his eyes were a weary, tired blue and his dark hair hovered just above his eyebrow in a floppy disarray. He rubbed soothing circles against his temple as he leant his head into his palms, elbows resting on his knees. 

"Are you okay?" Merlin asked, needing a verbal confirmation. 

Arthur nodded. "Yeah." 

That was a lie. If Merlin hadn't been so tired, he would've noticed Arthur favouring his left side as they dug Lady Amartha's grave and he would've realised the grunt Arthur made when he got on his horse wasn't because of exertion. 

They arrived back to Camelot. No questions were asked about Lady Amartha's whereabouts though some uneasy glances were passed around at the sight of the third riderless horse that was tied to Merlin's. 

Despite the whole ordeal, Arthur was determined to practice on the training fields. The rain had meant the grass was too slippery, so Arthur had decided to lay off until the rain passed. It was unusual for Arthur to go so long without training. 

He thought of Lord Dryden's betrayal and Lady Renwick's compliance. He thought of Lady Amartha's speech and the stupid druid prophecy. He went to the training grounds with a vengeance. He battered dummies and slashed at air. 

Merlin decided to sit and watch. He had finally finished helping Gaius make a complicated potion for one of his patients and was rewarding himself by watching the knights spar. Sir Leon and Arthur were currently in the middle of the loose circle of knights, swords crossed. 

Merlin felt strung out, the Lady Amartha situation had been weighing on him and the sudden magic had depleted him. He was out of practice. The unexpected threat had knocked his anxiety and he felt on edge. He knew he looked tired and stressed because when he sat down, a worried murmur went through the ring of knights surrounding Leon and Arthur. 

Merlin moved to lie down on the bench, to rest his head for just a short while. The movement distracted Arthur, who looked over. Leon had expected Arthur to parry but it was in that moment that Arthur had looked away. The force of the blow made Arthur fall. Stumbling, he landed on his side. He gave a sharp, pained gasp and clutched at his ribs. He curled up for a moment before shakily trying to get back up. Merlin rushed over, the idea of rest completely forgotten at Arthur's pain. 

"Arthur!" He pushed crowding knights out of the way and bent over him. 

Arthur groaned and Merlin aided him into a sitting position. He demanded someone alert Gaius, doing what he could in the interim. The knights came back to tell Merlin that the physician wasn't in his chambers. He must've gone to collect herbs or attend the lower town. 

Merlin and another knight helped Arthur to his feet. He leaned heavily against Merlin. Merlin looked over his shoulder and glared at Leon who was looking shocked and dumbfounded. He hastened to apologise. "I thought he would dodge. I’m sorry, I-" 

Merlin and Arthur squabbled on the limping walk up to Gaius’ chambers. Arthur explained on the way there that when he'd been pushed away from Lady Amartha, he'd caught his side on the rocks. 

"You should've told me how bad it was. You said you were fine." Merlin's tone was hard, upset and concern meshing together and making Merlin's teeth gnash as worry took over. With each step Arthur made a wheezy, pained noise. Merlin tried to hurry the pace to get there quicker but that seemed to pain Arthur further. 

"Can't you just..." Arthur started, huffing as they finally reached the door to the physicians. "Use magic."

"No." Merlin said, placing Arthur on the cot. "You insisted on being a prat, training when you _knew_ you were hurt. Arthur you're the king, have some sense." 

Merlin lifted Arthur's tunic and examined him, asking questions about dizziness and pain. "Bruised ribs, possible arm injury. Chance of a concussion but unlikely." 

Merlin bit his lip and admitted the real reason why he refused to heal it with magic and it wasn't out of pettiness or to teach Arthur a lesson. "It's too dangerous. I'm still learning, healing is one of the hardest magics. I could make it worse. We'll keep to the traditional method for now. Once it’s healed more I'll try and use magic." 

Merlin had been reading up about healing magic in his grimoire- the one Arthur had gifted him. He couldn't heal bone, his magic wouldn't allow it and bruising was difficult to alleviate without intense concentration. Merlin had been practicing but it seemed his magic was better at protecting than healing. 

Merlin tinkered about with Gaius' many bottles of ingredients and powders until he found what he was looking for. He gave it to Arthur. "Chew this." 

Arthur looked at it with disdain as Merlin put it in his hand. "Merlin, I am not going to put a piece of tree in my mouth." 

"Its willow bark. It helps with the pain. You'll need it. I need to look at your ribs more closely to determine if there are any fractures." Merlin looked expectant. Arthur sighed and chewed, pulling a face as he did so. 

Merlin nodded, satisfied. 

He drew up a chair and sat in front of Arthur. He pulled the tunic up, this time taking it off completely. He was careful as he tugged it over Arthur's head. Arthur winced and chewed harder on the bark. 

Merlin's hands traced lightly over Arthur's ribs. Arthur shuddered. He pressed a little harder and Arthur sucked a sharp breath through his teeth as Merlin ever so gently washed a cut from where the rock had grazed him. 

"How did I miss it?" Merlin said suddenly as he applied some honey to the cut. "Gods, this is my fault. I should've realised. I should've sensed her magic." 

"How is it your fault? You didn't make her do it," Arthur said softly. 

Merlin sighed and added some more honey, a little clumsily. Arthur made a small noise. Merlin's eyes flickered up to him. Merlin apologised quietly and gentled his touch. He wrapped Arthur's ribs, fingers securing the bandage deftly. 

"The bones are all intact. I’ll heal this in a few days with magic," Merlin said, gesturing to Arthur's ribs and his arm. "I can give you a potion to kick start the healing process and one for pain." 

Merlin sat back a little, his knee brushing Arthur's. Arthur put his hand on Merlin's knee, their gaze locked. The atmosphere was heavy with the smell of honey and lavender, Gaius had some drying on his herbs rack. 

"Thank you," Arthur said. Merlin smiled and briefly placed his hand over Arthur's. 

*

It was Merlin that told the council that Arthur was taking a break from his wife search. The council argued, Lord Renner was particularly angry that Merlin was speaking on behalf of the king. Merlin reminded him that it was from a medical viewpoint and not one as a servant that made him give his opinion so readily.

"Arthur needs rest. He needs as little stress as possible in order to heal," Merlin said. Lord Renner had scoffed and the other council members seemed at odds about it. Finally, the council amended that Arthur should be in his best condition to woo the ladies. Merlin agreed and it was settled. 

Of course, Arthur ruined all of Merlin's hard work the next day when he announced that he had planned a hunting trip. Merlin had rolled his eyes and sighed. Merlin received more than one glare at this. 

Arthur informed the council of his injuries, how he got them and Lady Amartha's subsequent demise. This made the council oppose the trip strongly, advising the king to heal within Camelot's walls. The more pressure the council put on him, the more Arthur wanted to escape. He felt dizzy with the lack of space and the immense headache that was dragging his concentration away from the conversation. Merlin cast a worried eye over him. 

"Perhaps-" Merlin was hesitant. "Perhaps it would be better if you stay here, Arthur." 

Arthur scowled. "I don't want to recover whilst confined to my chambers. I need some fresh air and to be away from this repressive castle. I'm fed up with the council breathing down my neck about my every move. I'm going. And so are the knights," he said. "You can always stay behind, Merlin." 

He didn't mean it. He wanted Merlin with him and Merlin knew it. He still wasn't convinced it was what was best but Merlin realised Arthur was too obstinate and stubborn to listen. Arthur had decided to go and so he would. The council had also realised this and stopped pushing Arthur to stay. 

The horses were all readied. Merlin had been tying a saddlebag to Hengroen and double checking the stirrups and straps when Arthur came down the steps. The knights were standing by their horses, petting them and chatting with each other. At Arthur's arrival the conversation halted and the riding began, they left the cobbled courtyard in the usual formation. Merlin and Arthur rode at the front, Gwaine wasn't far behind and next to him was Percival. Leon, Elyan and Lamarok brought up the rear of the group. 

They had been riding for over two hours when they decided to stop for a rest, they continued on for another few hours before making camp. 

Llamrei whickered happily, nose bumping with intent against Merlin's hand. Merlin stroked her and ran his hand through Llamrei's mane. Merlin lifted the flap of his saddlebag, undoing the buckle to take out a gleaming green apple. He gave the apple to Llamrei who bit into it with a loud crunch, she chomped it down and snickered, voicing her content. She butted Merlin softly. He smiled and stroked her some more before returning to his bag to take out a block of cheese that he peeled off a waxy piece of paper and the two loaves of bread he had swiped from the kitchen before leaving.

He handed out the bread and the cheese as they sat down. Arthur's fingers brushed his as he handed him some. The bread was hard but tore easily into chunks. Merlin set up a pot and started a venison stew. The bread and cheese had been devoured by the time the stew was ready, it bubbled in the pan. Merlin gave a generous amount to everyone. 

The knights mumbled their gratitude as they scarfed the hot stew down. The night had grown colder and the warmth of the stew and the fire had been a relief from the bitter night. Merlin tucked his face into the wool of his shirt, his nose was buried in his neckerchief. The knights were bunkered down similarly, capes draped over them and tunics laced all the way up to protect them from the chill. They were strewn about near the fire, backs warming as they nattered sleepily. 

"Shall we play a game?" Gwaine said. Everyone groaned. "Aw come on guys. My games are fun!" 

"Last time I played a game with you, I woke up stark naked in the stables. I had hay coming out of my ass for months," Percy said.

"Ugh. Fine. No nudity. You're all so boring," Gwaine muttered, he leant forward on the log he was sat on, hands clasped in front of him. "Hey, Merlin. Instead of a game, how bout you show us some magic." 

"Yeah. I'd prefer that over Gwaine's games anyday," Elyan said. 

Gwaine wiggled his eyebrows and Merlin blushed a little, pleased.

"What would you like me to do?" Merlin asked, unable to think of anything. 

Gwaine's eyes lit up and a mischievous grin crossed his face. He asked for something incredibly inappropriate, of course. 

Arthur shoved him off the log and the knights laughed as Gwaine spluttered. Gwaine grumbled and stretched out on the forest floor, flinging his head, hair flying as he settled and propped himself up on his elbows. 

Merlin cast aloud, more for show than out of necessity. A blue orb hovered, travelling to the middle of the group and hanging above them. 

The knights watched it with wonder but Arthur's eyes didn't stray, he'd seen it before. His gaze stayed on Merlin's soft smile, his flashing eyes that glowed like embers. The familiarity warmed him. He finally looked up at the display before his eyes drifted back to Merlin. 

Merlin multiplied it, the whole area was lit up with a soft blue before the bubbles of light burst, disappearing.

Nearly everyone fell asleep soon after that. Merlin managed to get a few hours rest before he woke. It was still dark, he turned onto his side, eyes half open. He saw Arthur was sat up against a nearby tree. 

"Arthur?" His voice was gravelly. 

Arthur's head whipped around, their eyes met. "Hey," he said quietly.

He had been thinking of the recent Renwick scandal. Despite Arthur's every attempt to court the women foisted upon him it seemed to end terribly more often than not.

He thought on how disastrous it had been, his council seeking influence, and how frustrating.

Arthur swallowed. "You once told me..." He wavered. "You once told me that I would be the greatest king this land has ever known." 

Merlin waited, blinking slowly into the night. The fire had burnt out, only a few smouldering cinders remained. 

"But if I'm such a great king, why do people still conspire against me and try to kill me? What am I doing wrong?" He confided to Merlin, who responded with the utmost sympathy. 

"Oh Arthur." Merlin looked at him, face tilted. "It's not your fault. Royals have always struggled against treachery and deception. People crave your power, they want it for themselves, it isn't your fault. Look at everything you've done. You've united Albion, you brought back magic, you defeated Morgana and the Saxons."

Arthur seemed dissatisfied. 

"You know Camelot loves you, your knights are the best in the five kingdoms and it's not just because they're well trained. It's because they are loyal and they respect and trust you. As do I. You are the greatest king this land has ever known. There will never be another like you, Arthur," Merlin added. 

Arthur shifted against the tree, the motion made him wince, his hand fell to his side.

Merlin sat up and came over immediately. "Are you alright?"

Arthur grunted. "Yeah. The pain it... It comes and goes." 

"Why didn't you say something earlier? Honestly Arthur, how many times do we have to have this conversation?" Merlin scolded. He checked over him gently. "I could probably heal it with magic now." 

Arthur squeezed his eyes shut then nodded. Merlin placed his palm against Arthur's ribs, the other on his injured arm. A golden light twirled around Arthur, dancing along his ribs and up his side before disappearing. Arthur breathed a relieved sigh, relaxing. 

"That felt-" Arthur breathed. "Nice," he finished lamely. 

"Feel better?" Merlin asked. 

"Yeah," Arthur replied. Merlin scooted back over to his spot and sat back down, nearly tripping over a pot that had been left out. 

"Shame your magic hasn't helped with being less clumsy," Arthur joked. 

"Excuse me." Merlin titled his head towards Arthur and narrowed his eyes but he looked more to have an adorable squint. 

Arthur grinned. "You heard me." 

They turned their eyes to the stars above them and had a soft conversation until they felt dizzy with sleep. Arthur's words became jumbled, his sentences slower until they devolved into silence, then snores. Merlin drifted to sleep with a smile, their hands were half reached out to each other. The knights said nothing about it when they woke.

Merlin and Arthur were the last to wake up. It was a very sluggish morning. They got up slowly and pottered around the camp as they got things ready for the ride back. 

Merlin headed out to a nearby stream to refill the water skins. The knights were nattering and throwing jokey punches as they waited for him. Arthur was saying something and grinned as Leon turned and replied as they joined in with the friendly chaos. Merlin watched them, their huge smiles and the feeling of cheerfulness that surrounded them. 

In that moment, Merlin was reminded sharply of a deeply buried memory.

Arthur had been walking around the corridors, he was smiling but otherwise looked gaunt and tired, his hair was dull and unwashed. His blue eyes were shut from the world. Merlin had shaken him since he didn't respond to his name being called. His eyes opened. They were dazzling, restored to their previous brilliance as he lingered, half in his dreams. 

"I was with Guinevere. She was..." He trailed off as awareness of where he was kicked in.

Merlin's heart hurt even now to think of the erratic, dazed wonder on Arthur's face and Merlin could never forget how the present washed over Arthur and how Arthur's eyes had dimmed, face falling as the realisation that Gwen was gone struck him and depression cloaked him once again. 

Merlin had often discovered Arthur drifting down hallways after Gwen's death, unaware as his sleep guided his movements. 

Merlin watched him now, smiling and happy, laughing with the knights, despite the recent attempt on his life. Merlin wished Arthur could be this happy and carefree everyday. 

"C'mon Merlin. Stop daydreaming and join us," Gwaine called to him. Merlin startled out of his reverie. He held the water skins up triumphantly and a mock cheer went around the camp. 

They didn't go back immediately. They had left the area where they had camped overnight but Arthur had taken a detour on the way back to Camelot. He was at the front and he kept the pace, slowing it as much as he could. It was obvious he was reluctant to go back home. 

The knights had been lightly teasing Merlin on the way back, some comments about his love life, some about his magic. It was all friendly. 

Merlin's eyes had been watching Arthur, silently assessing his mood. He got more agitated the closer they got to Camelot. Merlin called for everyone to stop. 

A few questioning looks were turned his way. "I just saw a patch of herbs Gaius wants, they're very rare and it would be pointless to go back to Camelot then come back out for them later," Merlin explained. 

They were in the open, too far away from Camelot to be safe and too at risk to linger in the middle of the road in their knightly regalia. 

"It's not really the time or place to be gathering herbs," Percy commented. 

"You were grateful enough for them when Gaius cured your palsy," Merlin said as he dropped off his horse and led it over to the side. 

"It wasn't palsy," Percy replied, voice haughty and a tad defensive.

"I was being polite." Merlin smiled, eyebrow flicking up as he glanced over his shoulder. 

Gwaine guffawed and jeered, Percy remained silent as Merlin traipsed through the wood until he was out of sight. Mossy roots snaked out from the undergrowth, Merlin nearly tripped on one.

The knights waited on the road. He quickly plucked some herbs that he knew Gaius would need though they certainly weren't rare and actually grew very close to Camelot. He foraged further and gathered some more useful plants before returning, happy at having delayed their journey just that little bit longer. 

When he returned, Arthur seemed less antsy and gave Merlin a quick, grateful look, recognising the forestallment for what it was. The knights were bothering Percy about what he had been ill with. Gwaine was making lewd guesses that seemed to make Percy smile rather than snap. 

"You did that on purpose," Percy said later, trying to revert the teasing back to him. Merlin fluttered his eyelashes and gave an innocent look. Percy shook his head, smiling. 

Arthur managed to squeeze another night of camping out in the forest. He claimed it was too dark and that they should set up camp. They still had at least three hours light left, they could’ve gotten back to Camelot easily but the knights said nothing and bunkered down for the evening. 

Arthur still returned sooner than he wanted but the time away had rejuvenated him. His wounds had healed and his head was lighter and less burdened. Duty called and Arthur attended it's demands. Arthur entertained himself with the final arrangements for the Decennial Tournament, which would take place at the beginning of March.

The announcement was made immediately.


	4. March

MARCH 

A hint of spring had finally arrived, stealing away the bitter bite of winter. The first flush of green trickled through and marked the Decennial Tournament. 

It was overdue, it was tradition for it to take place every ten years in Camelot but Gwen’s death, the battle of Camlann and the problems following the Great Wars had postponed the event. 

Merlin's thoughts of the last time this tournament was held flooded back, mind taken over by the memory of Arthur throwing the match to let his father win. Uther had known and been proud of him for it. Arthur hadn't stopped smiling for days afterward. Merlin wished Uther had been kind to Arthur more often. He wished many things. 

Some of the council members had disapproved of holding it now, after such a recent attempt on Arthur's life. It had only been a week since Arthur had returned. But the majority thought it would showcase Arthur's strength and how he had recovered, arguing that it would settle any rumours that had popped up in response to him taking leave after the Renwick and Amartha debacle. The others, Lord Teith in particular, were concerned that Arthur would get hurt, especially as this particular tournament had no rules and anyone was allowed to compete. 

These concerns were noted but the tournament went ahead. Merlin was still worried despite having healed Arthur and adding more protection charms on him.

The seats were filling out, it was always a highly anticipated event. Most people taking part were from Camelot and the surrounding area. There were only one or two faces that Merlin didn't recognise and one of them was walking towards them. 

"Who's that?" Merlin asked, nodding his head to the man as he tightened Arthur's armour, pulling the strap and buckling it. 

"Sir Alasdair of Strathclyde. I'm surprised he came, Strathclyde is a long way away. He must've been in the area and heard about the tournament," Arthur pondered. 

Merlin worried. Sir Alasdair was a broad, dark-haired man and as tall as an oak. He had large muscles and if Merlin wasn't so busy worrying for Arthur he probably would've swooned over the knight, the green cloak he donned was the same green that shimmered in his eyes. 

"A hundred gold coins would be enough to tempt any man," Merlin said. Arthur hummed in agreement. 

The man approached them, requesting entry through the tent opening then coming in when it was granted. Merlin stepped away from Arthur. 

"Your Majesty," Sir Alasdair addressed. He had a strong northern accent. 

"You're a long way from home," Arthur replied good-naturedly. 

"Yes. Your skills are known throughout Albion. I decided to test them out for myself," Sir Alasdair responded candidly. Sir Alasdair's eye caught on Merlin, the vibrant green running over Merlin's body and examining his face with curiosity. 

"We'll soon find out," Arthur grinned. Sir Alasdair bowed his head then left the tent. 

As he left the tent flap lifted, Merlin caught a glimpse of Lady Harreth. 

She looked resplendent. Merlin was reminded with a pang of when it used to be Gwen and Morgana, sat in that exact same spot. 

Merlin blinked. The tent had closed and Arthur was needling him, pushing him to get his shield for him. Merlin fetched it, re-checked Arthur's armour and followed the king onto the field. 

Merlin was hyper aware of Arthur's hand on his lower back, pressing him forward until they reached the arena.

Merlin was left by the side as Arthur announced the beginning of the tournament, he threw a sparkling smile at Lady Harreth, who watched with eager eyes. 

And so it began. The first two competitors battled. It was brutal, the loser spat blood as he tumbled to the ground. It put Merlin on edge, he gripped the side of the arena. Arthur nudged his shoulder with his own. Merlin watched as favourites were picked from the fighters, the public cheering harder for some contestants and less for others. 

It was Arthur's turn. He entered graciously, bowing his head to his opponent before the fight commenced. He won easily and in a short space of time, he walked off in an unhurried, preening way that made Merlin roll his eyes. 

Sir Alasdair also cut an impressive figure, he was clearly a very skilled knight. He gave Merlin a big smile as he left the field, which surprised Merlin though he returned it happily. Arthur frowned. 

It was too early to guess who would make the final rounds, though Merlin was aware that a bet had started up, probably thanks to Gwaine. 

The pool of competitors narrowed as the day dragged on. Some contestants had dropped out and the battles were ending quicker than the last tournament, it was usually an event that took a few days but Merlin suspected it wouldn't be such a drawn out contest this time. 

Lady Harreth had come over to Arthur as the arena cleared to wish him luck. 

"Thank you, I'm sure it'll put me in good stead," Arthur had replied. 

Lady Harreth smiled then seemed to freeze, her eyes had flitted to someone behind them. 

"Are you alright?" Arthur asked, noticing her reaction. 

She snapped out of it, her eyes back on Arthur. "Yes, I'm fine. Best of luck," she said and hurried off. 

Merlin looked behind him but saw nothing of consequence, some peasants who were filtering out of the stands and some of the withdrawn competitors passed by. There was a man dressed in servant's garb that Merlin didn't recognise, Merlin just assumed he was new. Lady Harreth strode off and if Merlin hadn't turned back to Arthur to inquire what he'd like for supper, he would've seen the man follow after Lady Harreth. 

The tournament continued the next day, picking up where it had left off the previous day. 

Most of the noblemen were still in with a chance, though they seemed to be felled faster than usual. This was probably due to the winner from the first rounds, who was still going strong. Sir Brutus, Merlin thought the name suited him, was a vicious, sharp-toothed noble that hadn't made it into Camelot's ranks and was clearly bitter about it. 

His barbaric tactics were successful and increasingly weighing on Merlin who realised he would be up against Arthur in the next fight. Merlin’s sense of dread only increased as he realized Arthur was suffering from a headache. It was visibly bothering him. He looked peaky and drained. Between the fights, Merlin fussed over Arthur, who had retired to his tent. 

Arthur had been suffering from headaches more and more, it was becoming a perpetual ache pulsing at his temples. Merlin didn't know but Arthur had spent one of the days he was meant to be training in bed, the curtains drawn and his head buried under a pillow. He felt like screaming from the pain, he spent most of that day asleep. No one bothered him, they all thought he was training or completing his duties. Merlin had been busy helping Gaius with one of the villagers struggling through a hard and long labour.

Merlin, seeing the pained expression that flashed over Arthur's face, put a hand on his shoulder instead of asking if he was okay. Arthur looked to him and put his hand in the air, a gesture to say he was fine which was clearly a lie. His head hurt too much to talk. Merlin's magic crept out, unbidden, and soothed Arthur's aches. 

Colour returned to Arthur's face, his eyes seemed less sunken and he stopped slumping. He looked at Merlin, the blue of his iris shone. His mouth was bowed, as if he were about to speak. 

"Your Majesty?" 

They snapped out of it, pivoting to face the tent entrance where Lady Harreth stood. 

She looked effervescent, her hair pulled up into an intricate style. Her earrings were delicate, they dangled down as she stepped towards them. She and Arthur would make a very handsome couple. Merlin tried not to dwell on it too hard. 

She curtsied.

"Please, there's no need, my lady," Arthur reassured. 

"Then call me Emma, please. Both of you." She nodded to Merlin. It pleased Arthur. 

She bit her lip and took a fortifying breath. "I was wondering if you would wear my favour in the next fight." She held a scrap of cloth. 

Arthur's eyes crinkled. "Of course." 

She tied it to Arthur's arm, securing it with a firm pull. 

The cheers from outside the tent signified that it was Arthur's turn again. There were only a few rounds left before the champion would be named. 

Unbeknownst to Arthur, the knights had secretly conspired together, bandying around who amongst themselves would take Arthur's place against the vicious contestant. Merlin, too, was ignorant to this plan and was slowly getting more and more worried. His nails were shredded from nervous chewing. They had watched this particular contestant bludgeon, clobber and smash his previous opponents. And Arthur was set to go against him. 

Gwaine had volunteered at the other’s hesitance. It was Arthur's turn but Gwaine was already stood in the center, clearly having taken his place. A part of Arthur was relieved and the other part was annoyed. Did his knights doubt his capability? Whatever the reason, it was too late. Gwaine was facing Sir Brutus in Arthur’s stead. 

It was a long, drawn out affair. Painful punches and sharp blows were traded, Gwaine let a few insults and taunts fly as they fought. It made the onlookers laugh and chant for Gwaine to win. He always had been a favourite of the people.

Gwaine surfaced from the battle victorious, bloodied but grinning. The knights hollered and cheered at the top of their lungs as Gwaine staggered over to them. Merlin attended to him, doing a quick patch work of assuaging his pain so that he'd be ready for his next match. 

Arthur went up against a skilled but slow combatant. After some parries and carefully executed counter attacks, Arthur struck him once, the man landed on his knees and surrendered. Arthur helped him back up, his nobility shining through. Merlin glowed with pride.

The tourney had been whittled down to three contestants: Gwaine, Arthur and Sir Alasdair. 

Merlin advised Gwaine to withdraw, the last fight had him limping. Merlin had assessed Gwaine and no long term damage had been done- yet. Gwaine had ignored him, determined to continue in the tournament. He knew he was unlikely to win but he'd rather be beaten than withdraw. Merlin had guessed that but felt it was his duty to dissuade him from fighting.

Despite his injuries, Gwaine held out very well. Nobody fought like Gwaine and both Arthur and Gwaine grinned throughout their battle. No serious hits were inflicted, though they'd both lost their helmets in a scuffle where Gwaine had nearly got the better of Arthur. 

Whilst they fought, Sir Alasdair had come over to Merlin to make polite conversation. Merlin introduced himself. 

"Merlin? Like the bird?" He mused. "It's a lovely name. It suits you." 

Merlin flushed a little at the unexpected compliment. 

A noise from the audience made Merlin look to the arena. Arthur's hand lightly touched the new red line on his face. He'd clearly been distracted for Gwaine's sword to get anywhere near his face. Merlin would scold Gwaine for it later. Sir Alasdair left to prepare for his next battle. 

Both Arthur and Gwaine showcased their expertise and prowess with the sword. Arthur's footwork and Gwaine's unpredictable strategy made for a very interesting battle. Towards the end of the fight, Gwaine's tiredness had caught up with him. Arthur was hailed the victor. 

"It's probably for the best that Gwaine didn't win. We all know what he'd spend that 100 gold coins on," Leon said as Gwaine came to join them on the sidelines. 

"Would've been money well spent," he muttered and sat down. The knights promised to buy him a drink at the tavern when the tournament ended. Merlin said he'd chip in too. Gwaine brightened at that. 

There was a short break before the final round. The knights cheered Arthur on as he went up against Sir Alasdair. 

Sir Alasdair had great form and an eye for preemptive moves. Merlin was enjoying the spectacle when his attention was seized by Lady Harreth. She was being troubled by a young man. Merlin realised it was the same one who had been lingering by the tents yesterday. The man was clearly harassing her. 

They seemed to be arguing, Lady Harreth's face was a mixture of emotions; she seemed elated and angry all at the same time. The man left in a hurry and Lady Harreth sank into her seat looking defeated and subdued. 

Merlin walked along the barrier until he reached her. He approached her, trying his best to maintain an element of privacy. Most people were enraptured by the fight anyway. 

"Lady Harreth," he addressed. "Are you okay? I don't mean to intrude but you seem upset." 

She looked nervous, eyes darting to where the unknown man had exited.

"Ah, no it's nothing. Please don't worry yourself. I'm fine," she stumbled to say. Merlin wasn't convinced.

A great roar sounded as the crowd cheered. Arthur was champion. Merlin forgot Lady Harreth's distress at Arthur's triumph. 

He scampered down to meet Arthur, who was talking to Sir Alasdair. Arthur invited him into his tent. The three of them went in. 

Arthur sat down and Merlin hurried to his side, untying Lady Harreth's favour and peeling the chainmail from him. He put some salve on his torso, he could tell some bruising would appear in a few days. It was the same place Merlin had healed with his magic only a few days prior. Arthur also had a small cut on his cheek. 

"Your manservant tends to your wounds? What of the court physician?" 

"You're looking at him," Arthur grunted. 

"You're a servant but also trained in the arts of healing?" Sir Alasdair asked. Merlin smiled and gave a quick nod as his thumb smeared thick salve over the cut on Arthur's face. 

"Are you hurt?" Merlin questioned, looking at Sir Alasdair. He rubbed his hands on his trousers, getting rid of any left over salve. 

Sir Alasdair opened his mouth, closed it then opened it again to say. "Uh, yes. Your king is a very good swordsman. Um. My arm-" He showed the gash, it had sliced through a weak spot in his chainmail.

Merlin pushed him into a seat. Arthur stayed with them, watching silently as Merlin worked. Sir Alasdair watched Merlin's hands. He smiled at Merlin, whose tongue was sticking out a little from concentrating. 

"Your people were rooting for you. You are clearly a beloved king. It was an honour to fight against you," Sir Alasdair said to Arthur as Merlin pulled away, having done his job. 

"The honour is mine," Arthur said, humbled by the praise. 

They stood. Sir Alasdair reached out and Arthur shook his hand. A friendship was struck and Merlin was pleased for it. Sir Alasdair seemed a principled man. 

They parted and Sir Alasdair threw one last look at Merlin as he walked away. 

"Nice chap," Arthur commented. 

Merlin watched his retreating figure. He doubted he would ever see him again. "Yes. He would've made a fine knight of Camelot." 

"Indeed," Arthur agreed.

$$$$$$$

In the weeks heading up to the festival of Ostara, which was traditionally celebrated by a big hunt, Arthur visited the falcon more than ever. Merlin and Arthur would spend hours joking together and watching the beautiful bird. Merlin had gotten more confident at feeding the merlin and in turn, the bird had become accustomed to him, he had attended Arthur every time since the first falconry session. 

Merlin and Arthur had been visiting the falcon whilst the hunting party assembled.

The festival was well under way, many nobles had prepared their horses and sharpened their weapons in preparation for the hunt.

When they arrived in the courtyard, Lady Harreth was already sat astride her horse. She sat tall and regal on the mare, her noble posture defined her from the others waiting for the king. Her hair had been plaited down her back and she wore trousers instead of a dress.

Arthur greeted Lady Harreth then mounted his horse and the group headed for the forest. The two rode close to one another as they conversed.

Merlin observed the pair. Merlin thought about Gwen, when it had been Arthur and Gwen's horses side by side and how in the future, it would probably be Lady Harreth in her place. She was the most likely candidate to become queen. She had secured Arthur's affection, even if only in the form of friendship, and had the council's seal of approval. 

Merlin thought about how, in the future, it would be Lady Harreth pulling silly smiles from Arthur and how it would be Lady Harreth that would sit and share a meal with Arthur and how it would be Lady Harreth that got to hear all of Arthur's jokes. 

It sent a particularly unpleasant twinge through his ribs like a festering wound flaring up. 

He tuned back into the conversation to escape these thoughts. The nobles were muttering about a lack of prey, the knights were joking about something and Arthur and Lady Harreth were too far away but seemed in cordial, if not exuberant, conversation. 

Merlin soon grew tired at the lack of interesting discussion. His eyes turned to the sky.

It was classic spring weather. It kept threatening to rain, grey clouds loomed in the sky with patches of sunlight shooting through it. Merlin wondered if a rainbow would show in the sky as they sometimes did in the dual weather of rain and sun.

They felled a huge deer, Merlin was sad rather than proud. Arthur was delighted. It had been his arrow that had downed the creature. 

They lugged it back to Camelot. It was to be served at the banquet table. Venison was one of Arthur's favourites. Merlin felt queasy.

Despite their long talks on the way to and from the hunt, Lady Harreth and Arthur chatted throughout dinner, neglecting their food at one point they were so engaged in conversation. Arthur was no longer bumbling and tripping over his words, he was regal and eloquent and enjoying himself. 

The match seemed perfect. The council approved, Arthur was happy. They were a handsome pair and got on well. 

Merlin felt Lady Harreth had the capability to be a great queen yet Merlin couldn't help his building anxiety that something would go wrong. 

The rapport between Arthur and Lady Harreth continued to grow with no sign of any impending disasters but Merlin worried. The strange interaction at the Decennial Tournament had been troubling him, Lady Harreth's reaction had been so peculiar. However, Merlin wasn't sure whether to trust his instinct, muddled as they were by his feelings. 

After the feast, in the privacy of his chambers, Arthur sought Merlin's counsel. 

"I think she's the one," he told Merlin. 

"Who?" 

"Lady Harreth." Arthur was nervous, his fingers fiddled with the strings of his shirt before undoing them and then redoing them. 

"She would make a great queen and I find her company easy to keep." He swallowed. Merlin had no idea how hard this was for him. 

Although he was fond of Lady Harreth, he wasn't in love with her and she wasn't in love with him. Arthur was thankful for it, it meant she was safe. 

"So when is the big moment? When are you going to ask her?" Merlin said, putting the cloak and other clothes in the dresser.

"This afternoon," Arthur decided.

Merlin’s eyebrows flew up and a flash of something danced over his features, flashing too fast to capture. 

"No time like the present." Arthur turned, reversing into the jacket Merlin was holding out. He turned, ruffled Merlin’s hair and left to visit Lady Harreth's chambers to ask her on another date.

Arthur planned it in his head as he walked. He changed his mind. He wouldn't ask now, he'd get her to go on a picnic with him tomorrow afternoon. They'd go early in the morning and he'd ask her amongst the softly lit forest on a soft blanket surrounded by her favourite foods. 

Arthur was knocked out of his ideas by a man hurrying past him, he had bumped his shoulder hard as he'd rushed by. The man had come from Lady Harreth's chambers. Arthur turned to look at the back of the man's head as he retreated down the corridor. 

The door to Lady Harreth's room was already open, left slightly ajar. 

When he entered Lady Harreth's room he was distressed to find her crying. Tears streaked her face and her voice was strained as she whimpered small sobs. 

"Lady Harreth- Emma, are you okay?" Arthur went to her immediately, sitting next to her. His eyes went hard as an unpleasant notion entered his brain. 

"If that man hurt you...If he..." Arthur started lowly, fists clenched at the thought. "You need only say and I'll have him found and brought to justice." 

"What?" Her eyes were red as they turned up to look at him, her confusion dragging her from her sorrow.

Suddenly, her eyes cleared and she looked appalled. "No, no. He- No." 

She looked at him and her eyes grew watery again. Arthur struggled to comfort her, unsure what to do. 

Her lip wobbled and she turned away from him. "I'm sorry," she said. 

"What for?" She burst into a new set of tears, once they settled she tried to speak again. 

"I think you're wonderful. You're a great king and handsome. You're kind and you care about the people. You're honourable. You're a good ruler and I'm sure- I'm sure you'd make an amazing husband." 

"But?" Arthur pressed, knowing there was one. 

Her lip flattened to try to hold her emotions in. She failed. Arthur rubbed her back soothingly as he waited.

“I can’t do it. I can’t marry you.” She revealed that she actually had a lover already and that it’s him she wants to marry but her father had refused as the boy was only a farmer and wouldn't be able to pay her dowry. The man he passed in the corridor must've been her lover, he realised. 

"I see. I have misinterpreted..." Arthur drifted off, brow furrowed. "You truly love this man?" 

"I do. I'm sorry, Your Majesty." Her nose was red but she had calmed. A subtle sorrow surrounded her, it was reminiscent of pity. Pity for Arthur, pity for herself. 

Arthur nodded slowly and stood. 

*

Merlin imagined what it would be like to serve Lady Harreth once she became queen. He would come into Arthur's chambers in the morning and she would be there too, at dinner time he’d bring two plates up instead of one. Merlin was crestfallen, when it was just him and Arthur he could pretend. 

He thought of Gwen. Becoming queen had changed her but she always made time for Merlin, she cherished their friendship. Merlin would braid her hair and Gwen would check in on him, make sure he was eating enough and being treated well. Before that, when Gwen was still a servant, they'd swap tips and dish on the best way to clean laundry. He remembered sitting on the steps with her. 

He missed her. 

Arthur came in, shutting the door behind him. 

"So," Merlin said, putting a smile on as he turned to face Arthur. "Did you ask her? What did she say? Are you engaged, or any closer to being engaged?" 

Arthur was silent as he undid his belt and placed it on the table. He then bent down to take his boots off and left them there. He wandered over to his bed and sat on it. 

"Arthur?" 

Arthur twisted his wedding ring around his finger. His stoic silence prompted Merlin to ask more questions. 

"Are you alright? What happened? Arthur?" 

He could see Arthur thinking, devising a plan. Did this mean he hadn't asked yet? Was he preparing to propose tomorrow? 

"Arthur?" 

Arthur looked at him. "That'll be all. Thank you, Merlin." 

Merlin huffed. He returned to Gaius’ chambers. It bothered him late into the night. Maybe Arthur was planning something really romantic. Maybe he had changed his mind about bringing Merlin for support and that's why he didn't say anything. 

Merlin sighed and turned over, wishing for sleep to sweep these thoughts away. 

The rain poured, it tapped against the window. It hadn't been this bad since the storm after Lady Renwick's transgressions. 

Merlin woke up late, undisturbed by the downpour. It puzzled him. Usually Arthur would be in here, looming over his bed with a disapproving scowl. The lack of an angry Arthur towering over him worried Merlin far more than it should. 

He got dressed hurriedly. As soon as he entered the corridors, he heard the whisperings. Hushed gossip floated through the corridors like the whistle of the wind. 

Merlin entered the hall, all eyes turned to him. Arthur was looking frustrated as he argued with the council. His expression turned guilty when he saw Merlin, which just confused him even more. 

It turned out, Lady Harreth had disappeared late in the night with a lover. No one knew where she was. A search party was being negotiated but Arthur was objecting to it. 

"It is hardly my fault," Arthur protested as an angry lord continued. 

"No, of course not, Your Majesty. But if you would send soldiers-" Lord Harreth beseeched. 

"To retrieve the daughter that clearly doesn't want to marry me? I am sorry for your loss, Lord Harreth, but there is nothing to be done."

The meeting was soon adjourned. There was nothing left to say.

Merlin was sympathetic and offered his ear if Arthur wanted to talk. He didn't. Arthur had known hours before him and had probably grappled with it already and concluded that there was nothing he could do. 

Lady Harreth’s departure had left Merlin and the council unsettled. The meeting about Lady Harreth had finished and Arthur thought it would be the last of it. He was disappointed to find it wasn't. No official meeting was called but there were constant muttered talks of potential solutions in low voices. 

The rain continued. 

Merlin filled another goblet of wine, seeing Arthur's dismay. He brushed his hand against Arthur's wrist giving it a small, encouraging nudge, a brief gesture of support that grounded Arthur. 

Arthur made no response though his eyes flickered from the raindrops he was watching slide down the window to Merlin. He loosened, shoulders relaxing. They'd slowly crept up as the conversation had lengthened and voices were raised. 

Arthur felt pressure against his temples and a budding headache bloomed behind his eyes. He rubbed them.

The council members were debating amongst themselves about holding a ball as a way for Arthur to meet eligible young women. 

Arthur decided to speak up, his headache shortening his temper. He cut into the conversation. 

"Out of the handful of women I've courted since the druid’s warning, almost half of them have had plots to kill me, dethrone me or haven't been interested in a marriage," Arthur reminded them.

"No more balls or introductions to young ladies," he said sternly. "I will continue to court Lady Balworth. I plan on inviting her to attend Elena's wedding with me." 

The council members were cowed into silence at the unspoken reprimand. If they hadn't interfered and had let Arthur handle finding a bride, as he had wished to, he might be married by now.

The matter was closed and the idea of a ball was cancelled. Elena's wedding and the practicalities surrounding it now dominated the discussion, Arthur sighed and let his head loll back into the chair. 

&&&&&&&&&

Elena's wedding was wonderful. She was marrying a Persian merchant named Izad. Godwyn said it was to strengthen trade but it was clear the two were smitten. It was also clear from some pointed, darting looks that the union was disapproved of by some of Godwyn's conclave. The couple were oblivious to it. 

The ceremony was a sweet one and it was celebrated like the joyous occasion it was. There were a few other royals Merlin recognised, he’d seen Mithian and King Bayard were also in attendance.

The foods and patterns that decorated the walls were less familiar. All sorts of exotic foods were laid out, colourful bowls spread across long tables, each offering up a unique delicacy, no doubt shipped over by Izad. The bowls were filled with fruits Merlin didn't know and the spicy aromas were unlike any he'd smelt before. Merlin ventured over to the bowl with the fuzzy pink-orange fruit. They were from the Chen dynasty, somewhere in the north east many miles from Albion.

Arthur made his way to the table too, following Merlin, he seemed unsure. He hadn't socialised much, he'd mainly conversed with his own delegation. 

Merlin hesitantly picked up one of the velvety-looking fruits. It felt how it looked, the texture downy. Merlin brought it to his mouth. It made a soft, fleshy noise and rivulets of juice ran down Merlin's wrist. Arthur watched, captivated, before hastily grabbing one for himself. Arthur didn't think them anything remarkable though he enjoyed the sweetness of it. Merlin, however, loved them. They were his new favourite food. He smacked his lips and took another. 

It wasn't just the food that was different. Elena was wearing a dress in a cut Merlin had never seen before. It seemed no one at the wedding had seen it before. Elena wore a styled blue dress, decorated with panels of gold brocade. Elaborate patterns swirled and looped, the thread shimmered as Elena conversed with a group of Nemethians. The style suited Elena very well, as did the bright beaming smile on her face. Merlin was glad to see her happy. 

Instead of a veil, Elena had a piece of light material the same shade of her dress that encircled her head, her blonde curls peaked out to frame her face. After the ceremony was over she pushed it back onto her shoulders. The unusual attire was to be the talk of the century. 

"Damascus silk," Izad said, nearing Merlin who was admiring the dress so closely. Merlin looked at Izad and found his gaze stuck. Izad smiled as Merlin blinked slowly. 

He was handsome. His dark hair was curled, his skin was tanned and contrasted nicely against the white of his shirt. His eyes glittered as they looked at Elena. His soft smile made him more attractive.

Merlin looked over to Arthur, who was now speaking to Elena, no doubt congratulating her. Izad glanced at Merlin. Unbeknownst to the servant, he had the same expression on his face that Izad had when he gazed at Elena. 

Merlin was wearing the soft purple tunic Arthur had given him. It was one of his favourite garments but he wore it very rarely. He saw it as a special occasions item. Izad was appraising it with his eyes. 

"I’m sure you know that here the colour purple means royalty." There was an implication there that Merlin couldn’t quite determine. Izad’s eyes danced. "But where I am from, it means magic."

Merlin stiffened, hand tightening on his goblet. "Oh?" 

Izad was friendly. "Magic was first coined in my homeland, did you know that? It's where the word came from." 

"Supposedly," he continued. "King Darius the Great's entire court consisted of magicians. I could imagine this court full of magicians." Izad smiled. "They make great accountants, apparently." 

Merlin relaxed. Izad nodded and walked over to Elena, his arm wrapped around her waist. She looked overjoyed and turned to him with a huge smile. 

"They make a lovely couple," a voice with a thick, familiar accent said. 

"Sir Alasdair," Merlin greeted, surprised. "What are you doing here?" 

Sir Alasdair gave a vague answer and launched into the wonderful oddities of the wedding. He has never seen anything like it, he told Merlin. 

They got talking and Merlin was surprised at how much they had in common. Sir Alasdair was a supporter of magic- Both his younger sister and his older brother possessed magical talents. He had seen the benefits of magic in Strathclyde which openly allowed sorcery. 

Merlin had confessed his own with shyness, prompted by Alasdair's support and Izad's earlier comment and possibly the two goblets of wine he'd had. 

He felt lax and loose, happy to speak freely of matters he was usually tightly buttoned about. 

Merlin hurried to tell him that not many people knew, so to keep it private. Sir Alasdair was very graceful about it and gave his word. 

"Does Arthur know?" Alasdair asked. 

Merlin nodded. "Yes." 

"But he hasn't made you Court Sorcerer? He kept you on as only a servant?" Sir Alasdair seemed confused, an air of disapproval emanated from him though it wasn't aimed at Merlin. 

Merlin changed the subject, not feeling like going into depth about Arthur and his history with magic. He didn't want to tell Alasdair that he was happy as Arthur's servant and that he had refused a position as Court Sorcerer more times than he could count. It would just lead to more questions. 

They discussed books and spells instead. Merlin had laughed more than once at the stories Sir Alasdair told. Apparently two of the royal family in Strathclyde had magic, so it had never suffered from the Great Purge as they didn't partake in it. They valued magic. 

"I know very little about Strathclyde," Merlin said apologetically. "Except that it is in Alba. Somewhere near Lothian? I'd love to visit someday." 

"Yes, it is and it would be wonderful if you visited," Alasdair spoke warmly. "I'm close with the king, I could even get you a room in the castle," he whispered. 

Merlin smiled. "That would be amazing but I doubt it would be possible, even with your influence." 

Alasdair hummed. "No, no. I'd make sure you got a room in the castle." 

"The king is my brother," he admitted. 

Merlin blinked. "You're- You mean..." 

"Everything alright?" Arthur said from behind him. Merlin swiveled around so fast that some of the wine in his goblet threatened to slosh over. He tried to mask his shock. 

He'd been talking to a prince this whole time and had never known. Oh god, he thought. He'd joked about what a pain royals could be and had mock complained about his duties. Alasdair had laughed but Merlin couldn't help but wonder if he should've been more cautious. 

"King Arthur, it's a pleasure to see you again," Sir Alasdair said. 

"Yes. You as well." Arthur's tone didn't seem to reflect his sentiments despite the amiability they had last departed with after the tournament.

Alasdair's eyes flickered between them. "Excuse me." Alasdair bowed to both of them and made his way over to his party. 

Merlin turned to him. "You can't have gone around that fast." 

Merlin had pressed Arthur to make more effort to interact with people outside of Camelot's retinue. 

"Well, I did," Arthur replied. 

"You've hardly even talked to anyone. Go and dance with some ladies or talk to some of the guests from neighbouring kingdoms, this is a great opportunity to get on friendly terms with them. I noticed Mithian earlier, you could catch up. Lady Balworth must be around, you should dance together," Merlin said. 

"Why are you so desperate to push me off?" Arthur sounded petulant, he shot a look at Sir Alasdair who was loitering by a pillar not too far away. Then he frowned at himself, as if confused by his own reaction. 

Merlin laughed. "What? I'm not." 

Arthur grumbled. He lingered and made conversation, Merlin obliged happily. Despite the amount of time they spent together, Arthur still found new things to discuss and seemed to enjoy Merlin's company. 

He told Merlin all that he'd learned from talking to other guests, including the name of the fuzzy fruit; they were called peaches. Many nobles and guests had commented on the rare foods set at the table, some with delight and others with disdain. 

The knights were watching Arthur and Merlin with beady eyes as they chattered in the corner. Merlin swore he saw a bag of coins being passed about. 

After some light squabbling, Arthur went off to circle the room again at Merlin's bequest.

By the time Sir Alasdair reappeared, Arthur and Lady Balworth were being enveloped by a crowd of dancers. 

Sir Alasdair approached sheepishly. 

"I didn't mean to deceive you," he started. "My brother is very generous, he knew I had always wanted to be a knight. I wasn’t lying about that, I am a knight. I just happen to be a prince too." 

Merlin wondered how Arthur would react if he knew they had been entertaining a prince at the Decennial Tournament. 

"I was sent to check the kingdoms out and see if any would be advantageous allies, worthy of making a treaty with," he explained. "I hope you aren't angry."

Merlin thought it very odd that a prince should care what a servant thought of him, especially as they weren't from the same kingdom. "No, I was just startled," Merlin reassured him. 

Alasdair smiled before sinking into a more serious expression. "If you're unhappy in Camelot, I'm sure my brother would take you on as part of his household in Strathclyde, possibly as something more lucrative than a servant." He gave him a meaningful look.

"Oh no. That's incredibly kind of you but I'm happy where I am, very happy. Thank you." 

Merlin felt flush. He must've made Camelot sound awful. He really should watch his tongue, his teasing opinions about Arthur were just that- teasing. He had to remember that to someone that didn't know Arthur, it must seem a more genuine study of his character. 

Alasdair nodded, looking disappointed and drifted away. 

Camelot's entourage stayed the night and left the next day, wishing Elena and Izad all the happiness in the world before riding out of Gawant. 

*

The countdown to Beltane was getting closer and Merlin worried for Arthur's future. 

Arthur was to marry Lady Balworth. April was on the near horizon, both the council and the people were expecting an announcement of his engagement soon but Arthur's enthusiasm lessened as the impending date crept closer.

Merlin had stopped attending their outings and he was glad for it. Merlin had lingered on the outskirts of their dates, on hand if they needed anything but far enough away to give them some semblance of privacy.

Merlin had watched them and was ashamed of the sharp ache he had felt. Jealousy had risen up in him like a green tide, knocking him under. Underneath the envy was something worse: fear.

Every day that passed was one step closer to Arthur's marriage and one step further away from Merlin. He knew that a marriage would mean duties, new priorities. Priorities that didn’t involve him. 

Merlin respected and approved of Lady Balworth, could even come to think of her as a friend if it weren't for their difference in rank. He felt guilty that his envy was making him foul tempered. He had huffed and puffed, angry that he had to bear witness to it. 

The two had carried on, not noticing Merlin’s internal dilemma. They chattered, mostly about the tournament. They attempted to talk about books, Arthur listened dutifully despite not having read them and she in turn listened to him as he talked about falconry and hunting.

Merlin was grateful he no longer had to chaperone for them, it meant he was able to focus on his chores. Now he had time to run errands for Gaius, read more of his grimoire and catch up with the knights. Merlin was quite enjoying it. 

Arthur had spent the day with Lady Balworth and Merlin had spent the day looking at the Crown’s accounts. He noted that a hefty amount of gold coins had gone missing. Merlin pointed it out to Arthur. 

"100 gold coins are unaccounted for," Merlin said, pointing to the parchment. "That's a considerable amount to just vanish. And we both know Geoffrey is meticulous. I don't think it's a mistake," Merlin said, tone urgent as he tried to impress the severity of it.

"Mm." Arthur didn't even look up. 

"Arthur." He looked up. 

"Oh uh. Geoffrey probably just forgot to include the recent banquets. There's been more of them than usual.” 

"No, he wrote about the banquets’ costs right here." Merlin jabbed the page. Arthur had gone back to ignoring him. "Arthur! You don't seem very bothered. This money could've been stolen. What if someone's found a way into the vaults?" 

Arthur snorted. "I think they would've taken more than 100 gold coins if they had found access to the royal vaults." 

Merlin hushed at that, mind spiralling at all the implications. "That could mean we have a traitor in our midst. Only people close enough to get the key could’ve gotten in.”

Arthur smiled and looked at Merlin with a disbelieving look. "Honestly, Merlin. I think you should leave the detecting skills to others. You should stick to your chores, of which I know there are plenty despite all your newfound time." 

Merlin fidgeted. Arthur clearly wasn't interested in financial affairs. Merlin sighed and scrubbed viciously at a stubborn mark on Arthur's boots. He polished them vigorously and tried to put the mystery of the missing money out of his mind. 

He managed it for a while but when he went to return the Crown’s monetary records he noticed a newly minted document lying on the table. He picked it up and scanned the contents. 

His teeth gnashed together and his face flushed with anger. He thundered his way to Arthur's chambers, other servants dodged him as he strode down the corridor. 

Merlin thought he sounded remarkably calm when he spoke to Arthur. "I thought you hadn't decided who to give Dryden's land to yet? I thought you were going to keep it as the Crown’s land." 

"All land is the Crown’s land, Merlin," Arthur commented. 

"You know what I mean," Merlin snapped, momentarily losing his composure. He was stood on the balls of his feet. 

He got no useful information from Arthur, not even the name of the new owner of the land. Arthur seemed very detached and unforthcoming about it. Arthur announced he was going to visit his falcon, he invited Merlin but Merlin declined in order to look into the matter himself, something wasn’t right here. The issue needed further investigation. 

He had sat in the chair at Arthur's desk, using the table to spread out all the documents to compare what might've happened when he remembered the draw full of documents that Arthur thought Merlin didn't know about. 

He rummaged around the recent contracts and the stack of treaties and indentures and found something very unexpected. It was a copy of the deed for Dryden's estate and this one had the name of the newest owner on it: Lady Harreth. 

Merlin re-evaluated the loss of the 100 gold coins and Arthur's odd behaviour when he'd brought it up and it all clicked. 

Arthur had given Lady Harreth the land and some money. The rumours about Lady Harreth running off with someone of a lower status came flooding back, as did Arthur's strenuous efforts to silence those rumours. Merlin had thought it was because Arthur had liked Lady Harreth and wanted respect for her, not because the rumours were true. 

Merlin resented all the sympathy he had felt for Arthur after Lady Harreth ran off as it seemed it was thoroughly undeserved. He felt a whirlwind of emotion; disappointment, anger, irritation, worry. 

The door creaked open. It was Arthur, coming back from his falconry session. 

He didn't notice Merlin's crumpled brow or the paperwork in his hand. The chair scraped back as Merlin stood and Arthur remained oblivious to his anger.

"You know, I've been thinking and I do like Lady Balworth but I just can't see myself married to her," Arthur said candidly as he moved further into the room, shirking off his jacket. "She's too quiet and nervous when it's just the two of us. In many ways she'd make an excellent queen but I think long term it would be unbareable to be married to someone I had so little in common with-"

Merlin's patience snapped. "Who cares!" 

Merlin's eyes were wide with disbelief that Arthur had the cheek to throw aside Lady Balworth after he had helped Lady Harreth, the most suitable candidate, run away. 

"You're going to die at this rate, just marry someone. You said you weren't looking for love, so what are you waiting for?" 

"Just because I'm not looking for love doesn't mean I don't want companionship, want someone to get along with, someone to confide in and work with," Arthur argued, baffled by Merlin's outburst. 

Merlin huffed. "I thought you felt that with Lady Harreth. I also know that you gave her the missing 100 pounds and Dryden's land, so that she could be with her paramour. I never thought you'd do something so reckless! Your survival depends on a marriage, Camelot's survival. Yes, Arthur, of course you deserve happiness and companionship but you keep driving away all chances of it. "

"You need to marry before Beltane and it's fast approaching. Why won't you accept a wife? _Please _, just marry." Merlin's tirade softened to a plea.__

__Arthur swiveled around, his emotions had been unsettled already and Merlin had responded not with understanding or agreement but with a nagging speech. He was annoyed Merlin had discovered his actions and that Merlin had reinforced the shame he had felt about helping the best candidate run off._ _

__Arthur's feelings roiled up in him and were ready to spring out like a punch, uncaring of who it hurt._ _

__"You have no right to speak on these matters.You are nothing but a servant," he snapped._ _

__"Arthur," Merlin whispered, hurt making him swallow and blink. He stumbled as he stepped back._ _

__"Well, you don't." Arthur's chest puffed. "You won't be the one marrying them and ultimately you should do as you’re told and obey orders. Another king would have you whipped for your impudence, let alone all of the other things I let you do." The words felt bitter and Arthur knew he'd regret them later but he couldn't seem to stop them, fury fluttered in his veins and flew from his mouth._ _

__"Is that really all? I've been in your service for over 10 years and I'm still just a peasant you pay?" The hurt was written plain on Merlin's face and Arthur's, set like stone, started to crack at the wild pain he’d caused._ _

__"How come-" Merlin sounded a little choked and shame crept up Arthur's skin like bugs. He hated upsetting Merlin. "How come I'm only a friend when you need one and any other time I'm an irritating servant? You can't keep putting me in a box every time you want a break from me, I'm not a toy and you're not a child though it’s hard to tell with your current behaviour. I'm asking you as a friend, and I know we are friends, so stop pushing me away."_ _

__Arthur looked at the floor, he held an apologetic stance though no apology slipped from his mouth. His eyebrows furrowed and his mouth twisted to a sneer, shame and guilt fuelling his anger._ _

__"If we're such great friends why did it take you so long to tell me about your magic." It wasn't a question, just an accusation._ _

__Merlin floundered before his mouth set in a hard line. "You know why, we've gone over this a billion times. You're still doing it, deflecting to avoid answering. Why won't you marry, tell me the real reason. Please, Arthur."_ _

__Arthur shook his head. "I can't."_ _

__"I can't marry." Arthur's head felt heavy and he sat, his hands covering his face at his sudden loss of composure. The anger had boiled away, leaving behind only simmering fear and a tangible sadness._ _

__"Because of Gwen?" Merlin asked, tentatively._ _

__"No. I-" He sucked in some air. "I’m cursed. I can't marry, I can’t, because-" He stuttered, his breathing unsteady._ _

__"Because? Because what?" Merlin insisted, coming closer at Arthur's blatant distress._ _

__Arthur shook his head. "It doesn't matter."_ _

__Merlin's hands curled to fists at his side. Wrapped up in his frustration and the hurt of Arthur's earlier words and his rejection, Merlin said nothing. As he reached the door, he turned to look at Arthur one last time before shutting it behind him, unable to reopen the conversation._ _

__Arthur remained frozen for a good few minutes, feeling suffocated by the lack of Merlin's presence in the room. He hated their fights. Eventually, Arthur got up and padded over to the window to mindlessly watch the bustling people as Camelot readied itself for the spring season._ _

__Arthur found himself tracing the small, messy dragon he'd secretly carved into the wood at the bottom when he was a boy. It felt rough under his fingers. His mind drifted to memories of Gwen, Arthur stopped when he realised that Merlin was in nearly all of those memories too and the thought of Merlin pained him at present. His head ached and it wasn't just from the shouting or strain of their argument._ _

__He blinked, a small circle of blood was on the windowsill in front of him. It hadn't been there before. Another one soon joined it. Arthur touched his nose, his fingers came away red. He sighed and lay his forehead against the cool glass._ _

__Damn prophecy, he thought._ _

__$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$_ _

__Something had shifted between them that unsettled both of them. A worried hesitance on Merlin's part, with a little bit of resentment, and a stubborn anger on Arthur's. It was like it had been after Gwen's death, when Merlin had revealed his magic trying to save her._ _

__Arthur was harsh at practice and anti-social outside of it. His time on the training field got shorter and shorter each day. He didn't stick around to chat, not with anyone. He didn't speak to Merlin, not even to demand he clean his armour or be his target practice._ _

__It wasn't hard for the knights to guess they had fallen out._ _

__The knights had tried more than one tactic to drag Arthur out of his mood and Merlin from his hurt but to no avail._ _

__"I just don't understand," Merlin said after Arthur stalked off._ _

__The knights were busy amongst themselves, too far away to hear Merlin._ _

__Merlin felt incredibly lonely in that moment. He missed Lancelot with a pang. He hadn't felt the sting of grief in such a long time. It made him think of everyone else he'd loved and lost._ _

__In some ways the argument with Arthur had felt like another loss. The panic of Arthur dying if he didn't marry had crept up slowly, it encased his throat and made it hard to breathe. The feeling sunk deep in his stomach and clenched like a fist squeezing._ _

__Merlin stumbled away from the open field into a quiet alleyway and bent over, hand pressed to his chest and one on his stomach as he struggled between needing to breathe and puke or scream. He leaned his head against the wall. Elyan found him, comforted him and brought him to Gaius._ _

__He was sent to bed and fell asleep soon after._ _

__

__Merlin did his duties, only speaking when he had to. He didn't stay whilst Arthur ate, when he cleared the plates away, the only noise was the clanging of metal against wood. The baths Merlin drew were tepid at best._ _

__Finally, Arthur sledge hammered through the unbearable silence: "I'm sorry."_ _

__Merlin jolted, startled both by the noise and the confession. Arthur was looking at him, Merlin looked back. The moment was filled with hesitance and uncertainty._ _

__Arthur continued, "I understand why you felt you had to keep your magic a secret. It was unfair of me to throw that in your face in a moment of anger. You're right, I was just deflecting. Sometimes you know me better than I know myself."_ _

__Merlin carefully placed some fresh laundry on a nearby chair._ _

__Merlin nodded, accepting Arthur's apology._ _

__Merlin continued to sort the washed clothes, he was slow to ask. "What did you mean when you said you were cursed?"_ _

__"I know you didn't mean magically because I have every protection spell I know on you and Camelot," he added._ _

__Arthur swallowed, this is something he'd never planned on sharing._ _

__"When Gwen." His throat seemed to close up, he coughed. "When Gwen drank that poison, the poison meant for me, it made me understand. Once my anger at you and your magic wore off, I realised I was to blame and I was so furious with myself because I damned her. It's my fault she died, just like it's my fault about everyone else."_ _

__Merlin opened his mouth but Arthur cut him off._ _

__"Everyone I love dies. My mother, my father. Morgana and Agravaine both lie in unmarked graves. Lancelot took my place to close the veil and Gwen was poisoned by a drink meant for me. Those closest to me get hurt and I don't want to hurt anyone else."_ _

__Merlin closed his eyes, when he opened them Arthur's expression was miserable, he was jagged with pain and Merlin wished there was a spell to heal that kind of wound._ _

__"You've lost more in your life than any man should. It's not fair but that doesn't mean you're the cause," Merlin said. "We've been friends for over a decade, I should've died a long time ago if what you’re saying is true. Besides, Morgana betrayed you, her downfall was her own doing. Same for Agravaine. There was nothing you could've done about your father, he had many enemies. And Gwen-"_ _

__Merlin inhaled. "You aren't to blame for what happened to Gwen, you didn't pour the poison. I am sorry for all your losses, Arthur, truly but none of them were your fault."_ _

__"Or yours," Arthur said, giving Merlin a look._ _

__Arthur shifted, clasped his hands. "I had been so terrified that night. I saw how hard you pushed yourself trying to save her, I made you stop for fear of losing you both. It wasn't your fault Merlin."_ _

__Merlin's eyes flittered to anywhere but Arthur's sincere look, vulnerability laid bare like that was hard to look at._ _

__"I'm sorry I couldn't save her," Merlin spoke so low it was barely audible._ _

__"It’s okay," Arthur said quietly. It wasn't and they both knew it wasn't but Merlin was thankful nonetheless._ _

__“Lady Balworth will be fine. She’ll live a long and happy life and more importantly, so will you.” Merlin reassured._ _

__Arthur still looked worried but nodded._ _


	5. April

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: Strangulation

APRIL 

Merlin had run down to the kitchens to fetch some thyme for Gaius, the royal gardens had been stripped of it and Merlin knew Cook always kept a sprig of it hanging in the herb rack. 

"Does Lady Balworth need anything, I'll be passing by her chambers," Merlin offered as he untied the thyme. 

"Haven't you heard?" Marcy, one of the kitchen maids, asked. "She left sometime this morning. Gossip's been going since a disagreement between her and Arthur was overheard." 

Merlin fled the kitchens so fast, the thyme thunked down onto the side. Merlin left it there. 

When he entered Arthur's chambers, the king was slumped in his favoured chair staring vacantly.

Merlin was jarred by it. He was in a similar state to when he'd found Arthur after the druid’s visit at Yuletide. It was the same blank listlessness except this time, underneath it all, there was something more. The possibility of death solidified and a sense of hopelessness surrounded him as Arthur wallowed. 

Lady Balworth had left and now he was alone with no prospects of marrying within the next month and the threat to Camelot and his own life remained hanging over his head.

"Arthur?" The man in question shifted, signifying he had heard Merlin. 

"Please, I'm worried," Merlin said as he came closer. 

Arthur threw him a dark look. "You know why I can't." 

Lady Balworth had confessed her feelings for Arthur and he rejected her because of it. 

A self enforced curse was harder to break than any spelled one. 

Merlin knelt down in front of Arthur, a hand reached up to cup Arthur's cheek briefly.

"You are not cursed, Arthur." 

Arthur didn't respond, staying in his brooding mood. He tilted his head away from Merlin's hand. 

Merlin took a deep breath, still kneeling, he said, "Marry me." 

"What?" Arthur asked, finally losing his vacant look, blinking it away. 

"If you won't marry any of them then marry me. I'm still here, I'm not cursed. Besides, it's better to marry a friend over a complete stranger," Merlin said, his hand moved from the knob of the arm chair to squeeze Arthur's hand, that lay limp on his thigh. 

"I don't want to lose you." The words were shockingly open and tender. 

Arthur squeezed back. "You won't. I promise." 

Merlin withdrew his hand and sat back on his heels. Arthur bit his lip as he considered the proposition. 

"Perhaps that would be better," he pondered. "To marry someone I know and you've helped me many times with court issues and you know the people, the council knows you, as do the servants." 

"Okay," he agreed, smiling. Merlin beamed and Arthur helped him to his feet. They both seemed a little flushed but a happy air radiated from the two of them, pleased that they'd found a solution that suited them. 

"Oh," Merlin exclaimed, suddenly. "The thyme!" He rushed out, Gaius must be wondering where he was. The news of Lady Balworth's departure had distracted him. 

"The time?" Arthur repeated, puzzled, but Merlin had already left, the door was left half open in Merlin's haste.

&&&&&

Arthur could feel a new fragility coating their friendship as they acclimated to the changes. He had repeatedly asked Merlin if he was sure and Merlin had repeatedly said that yes, he was. 

Today was the day that they were going to tell the council and Merlin was terrified. 

They arranged a gathering. Merlin stood by Arthur's side, not slightly behind his chair, as a servant would, but next to him.

The council didn't notice the difference but the knights did. Gwaine nudged Percy, elbowing him so hard that he turned to scowl at him. 

Arthur took a deep breath. Merlin's foot touched his under the table, where no one else could see. 

"Merlin and I are engaged," Arthur said. The chaos unravelled as soon as the word "engaged" left his lips. The knights cheered, the council shouted their outrage and the servants gasped. It took a few moments to calm everyone. 

"He's a man!" A council member exclaimed. 

"And a sorcerer," another reminded. 

The servants tittered at the news. Merlin lamented, he had wanted to keep it secret. The whole castle would soon know of his magic. Arthur gritted his teeth, fully aware that Merlin would be unhappy about the information getting out and knowing that the council would use Merlin's magic as an attempt to twist public opinion and remove him from Arthur. 

The pair let the exclamations roll over them as the council familiarised themselves with the news. 

Two accusations flew Merlin's way and Arthur was so furious at them that he grew scarlet, his fist thumped the round table and even a few of the knights stood up, outraged for their friend, at the slander. 

Merlin had shrunk into himself, his tall stance weakened. He wanted to crawl from the council room, find a bed and die in it. 

They had accused him of many things after his magic had been revealed the first time but they had never, ever blamed him for, or said he had anything to do with, Gwen's death. The implication was unbearable. The thought of doing Gwen harm repulsed him, and the fact that the council thought so low of him as to kill his best friend for a grab at power sickened him. 

Gwen's death had weighed heavy on him. He hadn't been able to save her. The blame being placed on him made him doubt his innocence. Had he tried hard enough? Could he have stopped the poison? 

Elyan stood, stating that Merlin was a good, honest man, that he was Gwen's friend and he knew Merlin had tried everything to save his sister. He had seen it, seen Merlin struggle, seen him sweat as he tried spell after spell to save her. 

However, no amount of good character witnesses' could convince the older members of the council of his integrity, in terms of the marriage, but a few words of doubt fortified their traditional beliefs about sorcerers and would seal his guilt in the council's eyes. 

Merlin grew more and more upset as Lord Renner tried to link Gwen's death with Merlin's popularity, despite the fact Merlin had been popular since the day he stepped foot in Camelot and everyone knew it. That didn't stop people from tilting their heads to actually consider Lord Renner's malicious theory. 

Lord Renner then went on to the second allegation which was just as preposterous. 

He suggested Merlin to be in league with Lady Amartha. He spouted about how it had been just the three of them and that Arthur had been gravely injured. Lord Renner's speech was persuasive and many of the council members seemed convinced. 

Arthur's voice was frosty as he turned it on Lord Renner and the council members who had backed him. "Merlin has never done me harm and never will. Do not ever question his loyalty in front of me again."

Arthur was furious on Merlin's behalf and had silenced the harsh words but the damage was done. Merlin looked ghostly, the hate had drained him. He wasn't brave enough to sit down in a chair he knew wasn't meant for him so instead he walked over to his usual spot and leaned against the pillar. Arthur threw him concerned glances, as did the knights. 

The council simmered, unable to say anything negative to or about Merlin.

"What benefits would Camelot reap from you marrying your manservant?" 

Surprisingly, it was Leon that replied.

"Have you forgotten his worth?" Leon defended. "We would've lost Camlann..." 

_Camlann._ Merlin remembered finding Arthur at the end of the battle, kneeling in the mud, bloodied but victorious. Merlin remembered the promise he'd made to fight by Arthur's side and the look they'd shared before the battle had begun. 

Arthur remembered too, his eyes flitted to Merlin's. He remembered how the blue he was looking at had lit gold on the battlefield, how Morgana's army had fallen. At first, Camelot's knights had been too embroiled in the fight to notice Merlin's magic as it infiltrated the opposition. He watched as lines of soldiers crumbled, his magic swept through the ranks and obliterated them. Morgana had screeched, loud enough to be heard over the battle. 

Arthur had been ruthless, vicious as he'd slit throats, sword bloodied as he felled soldier after soldier. Gwen's death was fresh in his heart and he poured himself into the fight, the loss of his wife fueled his rage and sharpened his revenge. 

Fury raged in Arthur at Gwen's passing. He had started to understand his father. His eyes flitted away from Merlin's and back to the council who were discussing the credibility of Leon's statement.

"We have no proof of his help against Morgana," Lord Renner argued.

"For all we know, he could've been assisting her," another added. It was like a physical blow to Merlin.

"I saw him on the field. He was as fierce and loyal as any knight. He was on our side," Gwaine said. 

"I saw him too," Arthur said. "He defeated half of Morgana's army in a matter of seconds. He is the most powerful warlock in the land, the druids worship him, the dragons bow to him, and yet for all his power, he still serves me." 

"He has saved my life more times than I care to admit," Arthur said, softening his tone. 

No one said a word, even the knights had been stunned to silence. None of them had known the extent of Merlin's power. 

"It still isn't a political marriage," someone muttered. 

"Merlin is the most influential person in the magical community. He is Emrys. Marrying him not only saves my life but reinforces Camelot's alliance with magic." 

Lord Teith decided to voice his approval. “He has the people's popularity and he's an incredibly powerful ally. He's also extremely loyal. There is very little reason to oppose the match." 

Consideration swallowed the council as the members formed their opinions. 

They accepted the engagement, though it had certainly divided them. Half the council wanted to use Merlin's status as Consort to destroy 'threats' and conquer land, the other half said the union would bring peace to Camelot and prevent any more assasination attempts by proving a strong ally to magic. 

When Merlin and Arthur left the hall, Merlin was exhausted. Arthur rubbed soothing circles into his shoulder as they walked to his chambers. 

"I'm sorry," Arthur said stiltedly, clearly battling his anger at his ignorant council. Arthur thought of how Merlin must feel and repeated "I'm sorry." This time his tone was soft enough to show his sincerity. 

"I know you did everything you could to help Gwen," he said. "And I want you to know I value you for more than just your magic." Merlin blinked. 

"Don't look so surprised. You may be a terrible servant but you're a good man." Arthur smiled. 

"You are more than your magic, Merlin." 

Merlin felt comforted, repeating Arthur's words in his head. He smiled.

*

Things remained the same between Merlin and Arthur. Merlin did his chores, helped Gaius and attended the lower town. Arthur practiced with the knights, listened to petitions and dealt with the council. 

Another day dawned. Merlin woke Arthur and lay out all his duties, which included seeing an envoy and presiding over a garland competition. 

"Do you want to attend the competition with me? You can help judge," Arthur offered as he took his nightshirt off.

Merlin's eyes flitted briefly down his figure before he turned away, toward the pile of clothes he had set out for Arthur. 

"I know you're just trying to relieve your workload by making me do it instead. But sure, I'll go with you." He kept his words teasing but was genuinely pleased with the suggestion. 

Merlin couldn't help but let his fingers brush Arthur's ribs as he dressed the king. Arthur shuddered. Merlin made sure to button his jacket all the way up, he didn't want Arthur to be cold. 

Arthur stepped back. "Well, let's cross the first one off that list shall we. Odin has never been a patient man, I doubt his envoy will be either."

Merlin grabbed his arm as he was making his way to the door. 

"Your hair." Arthur's hand reached up to touch his untamed mane. 

"Of course, I forgot." Merlin picked up a comb. He brushed it through Arthur's gentle, downy hair and watched as strands like spun silk moved underneath the caress of the comb. 

Neither of them were sure how or when it had become a part of their morning routine. Arthur always relaxed under Merlin's ministrations, the way Merlin's fingers lightly tucked his hair into the right place. It made Arthur's scalp tingle. 

Merlin placed the comb down and Arthur cleared his throat. 

"Thank you," Arthur said, oddly flustered, before hurrying out of the room.

Arthur was surprised to find that the garland competition actually turned out to be the best part of his day.

The garlands ranged from mediocre to incredible. Merlin really enjoyed looking at all of them and asking the creators about their designs. 

Merlin chose the winning Garland. He picked two. One for himself and one for Arthur. For himself he chose the most eccentric one. It had big bright flowers and no colour scheme. The other, the one for Arthur, was simplistic but fetching. It had golden berries and yellow flowers entwined within the leaves. 

Merlin placed it on Arthur's head. Arthur looked like a deity, golden and smiling. 

Merlin put his on. It should've looked ridiculous but the only thing that was ridiculous was how happy and beautiful Merlin looked. The ginormous flowers framed his face, contrasting with his dark hair.

A small gaggle of children approached Merlin. One little girl asked if he was a princess and to Arthur's astonishment Merlin didn't laugh but blushed, a faint pinkness dusting his cheeks. 

"Will you-" The girl's timid voice started. "Will you show us the butterfly?" 

Arthur frowned. Butterfly? It must've been something Merlin had done before, after both their engagement and Merlin's magic was announced. Arthur watched, as eager as the children gathered in front of him. 

Merlin crouched down, he clasped his hands together and whispered. His eyes flashed gold and a butterfly as blue as a gemstone escaped, fluttering free from his fingers. The children watched, captivated.

"Want to see a dragon?" Merlin asked once the butterfly had disappeared. 

They nodded enthusiastically. 

Merlin raised his splayed hands. A dragon made of fire launched into the sky, spitting ashes as it flew up. It hovered then shifted, curling into the Pendragon emblem. 

Arthur felt his heart well up with some unknown emotion.

Merlin was still wearing the flower crown, though it looked a little crooked now. He took it off and placed it on the little girl's head. She gasped delightedly and touched it with her small hand. She surged forward and hugged Merlin who returned the hug, smiling. The others joined in, it turned into a group hug. 

Merlin pulled back and said he had to go. They waved goodbye to him as he walked back over to Arthur. Arthur was grinning. 

"What?" Merlin asked. 

"You have a fan club." Arthur smiled. 

"Oh, shut it." Merlin elbowed him. 

Later that evening, Arthur informed Merlin that he was going to teach him how to eat like a 'civil human being.' No more eating with hands, Arthur decreed. Merlin had to learn how to use a knife and fork, apparently eating with a spoon wasn't good enough.

"As you're to be the royal Consort, you'll be expected to eat with me at banquets and when we visit other kingdoms. You can't eat like a barbarian. Nor can you dress like a servant."

"But I am a servant," Merlin said. 

"Not anymore," Arthur countered. 

"What? Who will polish your armour and bring you supper?" Merlin questioned. 

"George will," Arthur apprised.

"George!" Merlin scoffed. "No, that won't do. I'm still serving you, you can't stop me. I'll happily fake it when we have visitors but no way am I doing full time Consort crap. What would I even do?" 

"Help people, make alliances, look pretty. And perhaps you can finally take up the role of Court Sorcerer which you so adamantly refused," Arthur responded with a smirk. 

Merlin grouched, repeating that he would be keeping his manservant duties. He and Arthur debated what Merlin could and couldn't do once they were married. 

"I don't see why I can't do what I did before," Merlin said, exasperated. 

Arthur huffed. "Merlin, you're to be my husband. You'll have an image to uphold and new priorities to maintain. If you could manage all that and continue with your chores then I would happily let you but I think it very unlikely." 

They came to a compromise. Merlin wouldn't budge over cleaning Arthur's armour and bringing him his dinner but he allowed some of his other duties; like bringing up baths, cleaning the floors and mucking out the stables to be passed onto someone else. 

Arthur gave up trying to persuade Merlin to relinquish the rest of his duties with temptations of becoming Court Sorcerer. Merlin didn't care for the position, he only wanted to keep his job as Arthur's servant, to protect him and stay close to him. 

Arthur moved the subject on. He had a maid fetch their dinner, Merlin had seethed about it as they had just agreed that Merlin would be the one to bring Arthur his meals. 

"I asked someone to bring dinner up for us before our agreement," Arthur reminded him. "We may as well start the lessons now. No! No fingers. What did I tell you Merlin?" 

Merlin copied Arthur, his manners were still rough around the edges but they were much improved. Merlin was a messy eater despite eating with utensils. 

Arthur wanted Merlin's manners to be up to snuff for the Beltane banquet, luckily they had a while to go. 

However it wasn't enough time for the banquet they were to attend that evening, with King Dyfnwal of Strathclyde as their guest. King Dyfnwal was visiting to broker a treaty and potentially form an alliance; a letter had arrived the previous week to notify them. Merlin suspected it was Sir Alasdair's doing. 

Merlin had told Arthur shortly after Elena's wedding that Sir Alasdair was in fact a prince. 

They arrived late in the evening, swathed in Strathclyde green. 

As they entered the banquet hall, Merlin noted the king was a handsome man and held a mild resemblance to his brother. 

"King Arthur." King Dynfwal nodded respectfully. "My brother reassured me that we would be welcome." Arthur followed Dyfnwal's hand to Sir Alasdair. 

"Of course," Arthur said. "Please, let's sit." 

They sat, Merlin and Arthur were next to each other. On Arthur's other side sat Dyfnwal and Sir Alasdair sat next to Merlin. 

"You look well," Sir Alasdair appraised. "You look very well. I'm glad I got to see you again. I worried after Elena's wedding, about having kept my identity hidden." 

"Oh, I understand why you had to keep it secret. Don't worry," Merlin reassured. "It's nice to see you too." 

"I'm glad you finally have the position you deserve," Sir Alasdair said. Merlin thought it an odd thing to say but nodded and smiled nonetheless. 

Arthur was busy talking to King Dyfnwal who was smiling brightly, clearly impressed with whatever Arthur was saying. 

Though Merlin did like chatting with Sir Alasdair, he was too anxious to truly enjoy the evening. 

Merlin had been stuffed into a velvet quilted doublet. The colour, a rich yellow, made him stand out. He was the gold next to Arthur's red. 

Merlin didn't have the same appreciation for fashion as Arthur did and grew frustrated with the intricate chains that were crossed in front of the jacket. They jangled with his every movement and announced to the hall what Merlin was doing each time he stretched forward to add another roll of bread or slice of meat to his plate. He hated it, he grew red every time he reached for something. He picked at his plate, aware that his table manners weren't up to scratch yet. 

For Merlin, it was an uncomfortable evening and not just because of his noisy jacket. He understood now how well Gwen had coped with switching from server to served. Merlin felt guilty for sitting where he was, for eating luxurious food whilst the servants, his _friends_ had to work. He felt bad and tried to communicate it with his eyes whenever a servant bent down to fill his cup. 

He relaxed eventually, realising how happy Arthur was. It was disorienting to watch Arthur smile from a front row seat. He was so used to watching from afar, used to gazing openly in the safety of the shadows, in the safety of being a servant. 

He hastily looked away, deciding to bring up another topic with Sir Alasdair who obliged with enthusiasm. Merlin was plied with compliments from Sir Alasdair and Merlin blushed each time. 

"Forgive me if this is too bold but I wondered, perhaps, if you might show me around the castle grounds?" There was a sense of keenness in Alasdair's tone that made Merlin realise the intent behind the question. 

"Oh-" Merlin blushed bright red and Arthur looked over, his shoulder brushed Merlin's as he moved.

"Is everything alright?" Arthur asked. His eyes were on Sir Alasdair, though the question was directed at Merlin. 

"Yes, everything's fine," Merlin said. Arthur turned back to Dyfnwal. 

A look of understanding passed over Sir Alasdair's face which was soon replaced with a crestfallen expression.

"I'm sorry," Merlin said, voice low. "I didn't realise you hadn't been informed of the engagement." 

Sir Alasdair looked confused. "What engagement?" 

Merlin's brow furrowed. "Mine and Arthur's? I thought that's what you were congratulating me on earlier." 

Merlin realised then that the news probably hadn't reached Strathclyde and if it had, the details of Arthur's partner had probably been excluded. 

"Oh," Alasdair murmured. "I'm so sorry. I thought you had been made Court Sorcerer. I didn't realise-" 

Merlin waved his hand, dismissing the apology. "Don't worry. It's forgotten. I hope we can still be friends." 

"Of course," Sir Alasdair replied. 

Arthur was enjoying the festivities and glad that he got on well with King Dyfnwal. He would be happy to sign a peace treaty, Strathclyde would be a great ally to prevent any trouble from the North. 

King Dyfnwal had shown interest in Camelot and trade. He also had lots in common with Arthur. Arthur was pleased to answer and ask things in turn. He was glad Merlin had told him that Strathclyde had a king with magic. It lended a sense of familiarity in making a new alliance. 

Throughout the feast, the knights gave Merlin supportive smiles. Arthur hadn't said anything but he knew Merlin was nervous, this was his first proper feast as Arthur's Consort and that the guests added some pressure to Merlin. 

King Dyfnwal asked if he could look at the tapestries. Arthur hid his surprise and assented. King Dyfnwal left the table. 

Arthur snatched a glance at Merlin but his gaze stuck and he stared. Merlin was looking rather fetching. His back was straight, his posture regal, his face was downcast to his plate. The yellow of his ensemble deepened the blue of his eyes. His side profile was sharp, alluring. Arthur watched, entranced as old thoughts re-emerged. He leant forward. 

His thumb reached out and lightly traced Merlin's prominent cupids bow before he snatched his hand back, realising what he was doing. Two curious blue eyes settled on him. 

"You had- Uh, sauce. On your lip."

Arthur was flustered. He had no idea why he'd done that. The embarrassment was a sharp reminder of where they were and who he was. King's didn't stumble, especially not in front of visitors. 

Merlin rubbed his mouth with his sleeve. Arthur was too busy worrying that Merlin would realise there wasn't anything on it to scold him for his bad table manners. They were still working on that. Arthur was glad Merlin had mostly mastered cutlery. 

King Dyfnwal had returned to the table, sitting back down. 

"Right, well. Shall we move on to dessert?" Arthur suggested hurriedly.

The feast was over, most of the attendees had already started to filter out of the hall. 

King Dyfnwal said he was looking forward to their agreement and tomorrow's events. Arthur had shown the same avidity.

There were only one or two stragglers left who were slowly making their way out. 

Arthur watched Merlin, he was pushing away from the table. His plate was still half full which showed how nervous he'd been. He stumbled a little as he pushed the chair in and he was worrying at his lip.

"You okay?" 

Merlin looked a little dazed and replied "Huh?" 

Arthur smiled and decided that Merlin could use a confidence booster. "I was going to show you it after the wedding but I think you'd rather see it now.”

Merlin had a quizzical look on his face as he tilted his head.

"I had something made for you," Arthur told him.

Merlin stood still as Arthur started disappearing down the hall. Arthur came back when he realised Merlin wasn't following, grabbed his hand and tugged him into the right direction. 

They went to the wall where the more elaborate tapestries hung. Arthur stood in front of a new one. It hung next to the one depicting the battle of Camlann. In that one, Arthur was at the forefront of the piece, sword raised, his hair made with gold thread. He stood triumphant, having vanquished Morgana's army. 

Arthur gestured to it. 

The new tapestry was separated by colour into three stripes, each with different scenes. 

The first stripe featured Merlin at the battle of Camlann. His eyes were the same gold that was used for Arthur's hair. His hands were spread out in front of him. 

The one beneath it had Merlin healing Arthur. The king was laid in bed, Merlin assumed it was referencing the questing beast bite, Merlin's magic swirled in gold thread around the scene. Further along in the same stripe Arthur was shown to be feeling better, validating Merlin's loyalty and his magic. 

In the last stripe, Merlin was pictured fighting and defeating another magical beast. In all of them, Merlin was the hero.

Merlin touched the fabric, unable to speak. 

He turned to Arthur and threw his arms around him, hugging him.

Merlin withdrew slowly, their faces were close as they disengaged. Tension pulsated around them. Merlin's eyes glanced at Arthur's lips and Arthur's fingers twitched. Merlin moved away, taking a step back and Arthur could breathe again. 

"Thank you. This means a lot to me." 

Arthur cleared his throat. "Thank you for saving me from marrying Lady Renwick." 

Merlin smiled, gazing at the tapestry again.

Much later, in Arthur's chambers the fire crackled and they sat in serene silence, Merlin had changed back into his usual apparel. Arthur decided to ask a question that had been bothering him for a while. 

"Why don't you want to be Court Sorcerer? And don't give me another lame answer like 'politics.'" 

The day he'd lifted the ban on magic, Arthur had offered Merlin the position of Court Sorcerer. Both the council and Merlin had refused his suggestion. 

In response to why, Merlin had said "I don't want to deal with the politics. Besides I know it would just be an excuse for you to put me in another silly hat." Merlin’s tone had been blasé and the words a half-truth. 

Merlin had said explicitly that he wanted to remain by Arthur's side. Looking back, Arthur realised Merlin probably felt a widespread knowledge of his magic would prevent that; Merlin didn't want things to change, but change had come about anyway and Merlin still refused the position. 

Arthur wanted an answer. 

Merlin shrugged. "I don't want to be put on a pedestal. I can protect you best when the focus isn't on me." He paused. "I don't need a title to show I'm loyal to Camelot and being Emrys doesn't qualify me to represent others like me. I didn't grow up worshipping the Old Religion and I don't know enough about the rituals." 

Arthur looked thoughtful. 

"What if you were to become Court Physician instead? When Gaius retires, of course," he suggested. 

Merlin looked to him, eyes shining and dark in the firelight. "Really?" 

"You're a great healer and your magic could probably enhance medicine," Arthur said. "I don't know why I didn't think of it before." 

Merlin looked gratified and smiled as he turned the page of his book. 

*******

Merlin and Arthur had both agreed to do something different to the tourney held when Arthur had got engaged to Gwen. Instead, they were going to celebrate their betrothal by honouring magic and having a public festival. Merlin had wanted everyone to enjoy the event, rather than just nobles and knights. 

The square had been cleared for the dance that was to happen later on in the day. 

Dyfnwal, Alasdair, Arthur and Merlin amassed on the stairs of the castle. They moved together, talking and jostling next to one another, keeping pace with whoever they were in conversation with which constantly changed as they walked down to where the celebrations were to be held. 

The festivities were about to begin, peasants wore their best outfits and lined up for the dance. The nobles looked curmudgeonly at the strange arrangement of an outdoor dance, very few of them were willing to swallow their pride and risk muddying their expensive hemlines but Arthur didn't take any notice, he was too busy staring at Merlin who had a smile so bright he could outshine a star. 

King Dyfnwal approached Merlin and Arthur. He took a box from his servant and opened it, he turned it to them to display the treasures inside.

"The kingdom of Strathclyde gifts you these as congratulations on your engagement and also to celebrate a new friendship between our people," King Dyfnwal said. The official documents were yet to be signed but the deal was as good as done. 

Arthur peered inside the box. 

For him, there was a beautifully embellished chalice and for Merlin, a brooch. 

The brooch was a delicate curl of metal inlaid with a stone Merlin didn't recognise. It was intended for Arthur, as the Strathclyde retinue hadn't been aware of Arthur's engagement until the welcoming feast. The council’s doing, no doubt. 

Merlin thought the brooch was beautiful. The gold glinted and made the blue-flecked stone shine. 

Merlin's thumb rubbed over the smooth gem. He blinked, looked more closely at it and gasped. 

Arthur was by his side in an instant. His hand was on Merlin's wrist, which was clutching at the brooch. 

"Merlin? What is it?" Arthur's voice was a nasal buzz of worry. Merlin looked at King Dyfnwal, who also wore an expression of concern. 

"Where did you get this stone from?" Merlin asked. His tone must've been sharper than he intended for it drew looks from even the most apathetic in court. 

"It is part of a much larger stone," Dyfnwal replied. "I admit, the stone is rather beautiful but I have little knowledge of it. It seems the detail has offended you." 

"You have magic, yes?" Merlin questioned, his eyes were beginning to burn a little around the edge of his irises. Whether it was from excitement or fury no one could seem to tell, not even Arthur. 

"Merlin," Arthur murmured, conscious of upsetting a new alliance but wary of what this stone meant. 

"I do," King Dyfnwal said. He was not intimidated, only guarded. He knew of Camelot's long history of persecuting magic and it seemed Sir Alasdair had kept his secret. King Dyfnwal had no knowledge of Merlin's magic and expected an unsavoury accusation to be pointed his way. 

"Please," Merlin started. Arthur realised now that it was excitement. 

"Please can you bring it here, with your magic. The rock. I need-" Merlin tried to compose himself. "Please, Your Majesty." 

With a flash of gold that frightened and awed the unintentional audience in equal measure, the stone appeared. It was a white-blue oval that narrowed toward the top. 

"May I?" 

King Dyfnwal nodded his permission. 

"This is no precious stone or large jewel," Merlin said, cradling it. "It is a dragon egg." 

Merlin held the newly presented “rock” with wonder and care, caressing the shell. Arthur watched Merlin with a similar wonder.

"Dragon?" Dyfnwal repeated. "I thought they went extinct with the dragonlords." 

"Dragonlords aren't extinct, not quite,' Merlin said. "I am the last dragonlord." 

He placed the egg on the ground. A gutteral burst in a different tongue flew from his mouth, it was a single word but so deep and booming that it resonated and caused a shudder to run through Arthur.

" _Ausra_." 

The egg cracked and a small red dragon emerged. 

There was an atmosphere of awe and shock as they all gazed upon the small creature. 

The baby dragon _keraw_ ed questioningly at the crowd. Merlin moved forward and the dragon chirruped happily. 

King Dyfnwal's mouth opened as he recognised who Merlin was, reverential, he fell to his knees. "Emrys," the king said. 

Sir Alasdair heard, looked at Merlin with wide eyes and followed his brother's genuflection. 

"It is an honour," King Dyfnwal said. 

Merlin blushed, a similar shade to the dragon that had clambered its way up and curled around Merlin's neck. Arthur watched the scene with pride and something else that stirred deep in his heart. 

"Please," Merlin was still blushing. "There is no need to bow." 

Ausra yipped. Dyfnwal and Alasdair rose and the merriments began. Music played and the dancing started. 

Merlin was too preoccupied with Ausra to dance. Instead, he watched as people twirled and came together, hands clasped in a circle dance. 

King Dyfnwal had come over to talk to him, to discuss magic and apologise for not realising who he was before. Merlin had burned red through the whole conversation and apologised in turn for his rudeness when asking for the egg. They had talked about the dragon and watched little Ausra as she curled up against Merlin's side. 

Eventually Sir Alasdair cut in, asking Merlin for a dance. They held hands and Merlin turned to grasp the hand of the person to his right. Arthur appeared suddenly and grabbed Merlin’s hand. Merlin was delighted that Arthur had decided to participate, he didn't usually as he wasn't a huge fan of dancing. Arthur looked at Alasdair, on Merlin’s other side, and his fingers curled around Merlin's, his grasp careful but firm.

The dance started. 

They hopped together, walked in the line and jumped at the same time. Arthur squeezed his hand before they let go. 

They all bowed as the song finished. Arthur didn't let go of Merlin's hand until the other dancers drifted away. 

Merlin and Arthur spent the rest of the evening chatting with Alasdair and Dyfnwal. 

The Strathclyde party stayed for another four days and during that time the treatise were signed and the alliance agreed upon. 

The visit had lightened the overall mood, the people were happy and the council was satisfied. 

Their visit seemed to bode well for Camelot, as did the little red dragon.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

It was a glorious day, more like June than April. It was perfect weather for a miserable event. 

It was Arthur's birthday. 

Arthur's birthday was a historically bad day. Merlin was determined to make this a memorable one, a good one. 

The day started out brilliantly. 

The halls were buzzing with anticipation, the king had not celebrated his birthday for the past two years, not since before Gwen. Servants were preparing, people were getting ready for the celebratory traditions. 

Corridor decor was being put up, servants balanced precariously as they reached up to hang wreaths and other ornaments.

Merlin had organised all of this as a surprise, a feast followed by a tourney. Leon had offered to distract Arthur and keep the king in his chambers by boring him with a long report. It had worked so far. 

Merlin had got the kitchen to agree to make all of Arthur's favourite foods, even though some were difficult to get ingredients for. He expressed his gratitude so many times that Cook ended up kicking him out. He knew she appreciated the praise and thanks though. 

Merlin was on his way to meet up with the knights to go over the plan one last time and to finalise the preparations for the tourney. He'd been walking down the corridor when someone grabbed him, wrestling him to the side. 

Merlin tried to escape the strong grasp. A cool disc slid down onto his shoulder and burned, Merlin gasped and tried to jerk away from it. He struggled and tried to use his magic to repel the attacker. 

The voice laughed. "Won't work." 

Merlin panicked. He couldn't access his magic. Oh god. What had they done to him? 

"You don't belong," the voice said and yanked hard on his neckerchief.

Merlin twisted and bucked, trying to get free. He screamed, shouted, begged but the corridor was empty. Everyone was out, preparing for the king’s birthday. Merlin panicked, his heart was slamming against his ribs. His voice was thinning and his strength faltering. 

His attacker made a noise of disgust, the material around his throat tightened, squeezing his breath out. Merlin struggled, yanking at it with feeble pulls, trying to breathe. His head ached, he could feel his pulse in his head, in his throat. He was going to die.

Merlin gasped for air, trying to draw breath in. A fire burned in his throat where the material stung, weak fingers tried to tug it away but he was burning, too hot, heart thrumming too fast. Spots crossed his vision. 

He gave one last long inhale and the world went out in a flood of black. 

Some time passed before it was suspected that something untoward had happened to Merlin. As scatterbrained as he was, he wouldn't forget the arrangement he'd made for Arthur's birthday. The knights waited and waited. Gwaine's anxiety built everytime the door opened and it wasn't Merlin. 

"Something's wrong," Gwaine said. 

"Yeah. We've run out of snacks," Lamarok complained. 

"I'm serious," Gwaine said, leg jittery. "Something's happened, he should be here by now. Where did he say he had to go before meeting us?" 

"Uh. The kitchen? Possibly?" Elyan suggested. 

Gwaine stood. "We have to find him. He should’ve been here by now.”

They left to search for him. 

"Hey!" Gwaine shouted and sprinted down the hall. Merlin was just visible in an alcove where a rarely used staircase started. He was on his knees, his head drooped forward, his arms slack. 

A figure was behind him, hands behind Merlin's neck, pulling the neckerchief close around Merlin's throat. The attacker was shadowed but it was clear what he was doing. Gwaine's shout startled him, he let go of Merlin and bolted down the staircase. Merlin fell to the side, smacking hard into the stone floor. He didn't react at all, he sprawled against the stone, lifeless. 

Gwaine cursed and knelt next to him, he undid the neckerchief, untwisting it with hasty fingers, cursing over and over as he checked for a pulse, checked for breath. A very, very weak flutter could be felt against Gwaine's fingertips. His whole body moved with his heavy exhale of relief. 

Percy and Leon's footsteps thundered down the corridor. 

"I have to get him to Gaius." Gwaine was holding Merlin tight. "Percy, help me get him there.”

Gwaine turned to Leon. "The bastard got away. He went down that way. Go!" 

Leon hurried down the staircase, sword in hand. 

Gaius looked grave at Merlin's state and said there was very little he could do. They would have to wait and see whether Merlin would wake up and if he would be himself when he did. It was rare, so Gaius thought it unlikely, but sometimes patients weren't the same when they woke after being deprived of air. They didn't know enough, how long he was out for, so Merlin's recovery was part guesswork.

Gwaine stayed with Merlin for as long as he could before his attention was pulled away by the king and the surprise Merlin had put together for him. 

It was inevitable that Merlin's absence at the feast would lead to questions of his whereabouts.

"He does know it's my birthday, doesn't he?" Arthur joked, although there was some hurt in the statement. 

Gwaine swallowed. "Yes. He's the one that organised all this.”

Arthur looked so pleased in that moment it made the knights hesitant to tell him.

"Well, where is he?" 

The knights all shifted uneasily. Their eyes darted around the room and to each other but none of them looked at Arthur. 

"He- We... I found him in the corridor, being strangled. He's with Gaius. He hasn't woken up yet." 

Arthur paled, skin going ashen before it flushed a deep red. His knuckles went white as he clenched them hard enough to hear bone click. 

"He could be dying and you had me wasting my time on birthday frivolity!" Arthur's voice rose to a shout. He swept from the room, going immediately to Merlin's side. He didn't care what the nobles would mutter at the outburst, all he could think about was Merlin.

Merlin was laid out on a cot, still unconscious. 

There was a mark that stretched around his neck, a thick band of red where the skin had been pressed and twisted, where the material had cut into his throat. 

His skin seemed transparent, like a thin sheet of parchment held up to the light. He was glowing porcelain pale, the same chalky off-white colour of the moon. Shadows cast over his long thin nose and bounced off his sharp cheekbones. 

Arthur thought he'd be beautiful if he didn't look so ill. He lay, breath shallow, chest barely moving.

"Who was it?" Arthur asked, voice flat. 

"We didn't see," Gwaine admitted.

Arthur asked to be left alone. The others departed from the physician's rooms. Arthur stayed, sitting beside Merlin in case he woke up. His eyes didn’t leave Merlin. He waited for some sign of life, for his fingers to twitch or for his eyelids to shift. 

He was still as stone. 

Arthur spent all his birthday wishes on Merlin, hoping it would be enough to secure his safety and well-being. 

Arthur analysed him for hours but there was no change. Arthur watched until his eyes hurt and the light dimmed. He couldn't bring himself to leave, so he slept there in the chair by Merlin's bed. 

The sun had risen and so had Arthur. He was still with Merlin and he planned on staying until Merlin woke. Ausra was there too, she whined and nuzzled into Merlin's limp hand. Arthur had reached over to stroke her. 

Gwaine came by with an offering of food. Arthur declined but welcomed the company. He used it to question him as Gwaine had been the first to arrive at the scene.

"Was he tall? Short? Broad? Thin?" His questioning nearly drove Gwaine away. He left the food he'd brought for Arthur on the side and retreated to linger by the door. He refused to leave Merlin but was unable to answer Arthur's questions. Eventually the king gave in and left Gwaine alone.

It was late evening, Gwaine had left. Merlin was still unconscious but Arthur thought he saw his fingers twitch. He reached forward and grabbed his hand.

"Merlin?" Arthur waited with bated breath, hope blooming in his chest, so all encompassing that it hurt. He gripped Merlin's unresponsive fingers. 

"You're the only friend I have. You can't die," Arthur said sternly. "I command it."

He squeezed Merlin's hand hard, he brought it to his chest, against his heart. 

The third day came to pass and Merlin had not moved. 

Neither had Arthur, his hand still clasped Merlin's. Others had visited, some had tried to persuade Arthur to sleep or eat. They all gave up sooner or later. 

They were alone in his chambers once again. Arthur's fear and anguish heightened with every day that went by. 

“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you. Not after Gwen, not again. Wake up. Please, just wake up.” Arthur’s voice had dropped to a whisper and he clutched desperately at Merlin’s hand. 

A tendril of Merlin's magic reached out, running over Arthur's skin like a soothing hand. Arthur jerked, head snapping to Merlin's face but his expression was as docile as before. 

Arthur basked in the feeling, Merlin's magic was reassuring him, tentatively touching his hair. It felt like the light press of a thumb beneath his cheek and the warm assurance of an arm around him. 

Surely this was a sign that Merlin was improving? He was using magic to placate Arthur. 

Arthur's forehead creased. Why didn't Merlin use his magic to stop this from happening? 

Arthur stood, knees objecting after being sat for so long. 

He would've. That was the clue, Merlin would've used his magic if he could. Whoever had done this had disabled Merlin's magic. 

But how? 

Arthur left Merlin for the first time, asking Gaius to watch over him until he was back and to fetch him immediately if there was any change. 

Arthur went down to the vaults. He knew there was a circular sigil, which when pressed to a sorcerer’s skin prevented them from using their magic. It was one of the only anti-magic relics left in Camelot. 

It was missing. 

Only one person within the council knew what this object could do, had been close enough to Uther to know what the symbol on it meant. 

Arthur raced back to Merlin. Gaius startled as the door to Merlin's room banged open with Arthur's entrance. 

Arthur went over to Merlin and very carefully checked his body, searching his skin for the mark that the artifact left behind. 

He gently turned Merlin. There it was, clear as day, a charred mark burnt into Merlin's shoulder, the patterns of the sigil lined his skin. 

The mark looked much older than it should've, Gaius had assumed it was an old burn from one of the many times Merlin had risked his life without Arthur's knowledge back when his magic had been a secret. 

Gaius inspected it and confirmed Arthur’s suspicions. Someone had disarmed Merlin and strangled him with the intent of killing him. And Arthur finally knew who it was. 

He sent the order for his arrest out directly. 

Lord Renner's dislike had been plain from the beginning but Arthur would never have thought he'd purposefully cause Merlin harm. The closeness of the attacker rattled Arthur. How many more of his council members had secret schemes and ulterior motives? How many of them disagreed with Arthur's policies behind closed doors? 

Arthur decided to set an example. 

Lord Renner's crimes were read out, the details spoken aloud for the public to hear. The lord received boos and hisses and chants of condemnation as the list went on, Arthur had included previously dropped charges from past years. 

The lord ignored the halooing from the onlookers and protested vigorously against the accusations. He realised it was a doomed cause and started to spit hate about magic, about Merlin. How Merlin had corrupted Arthur's mind and had bewitched him, how Camelot would fall under such a weak king, how Uther would be ashamed of what Camelot had become. His violent tirade was soon replaced by his screams. 

The crowd cheered. Arthur turned away from the spectacle, choosing instead to look at the table where the neckerchief that had been used to strangle Merlin lay. 

He would not feel remorse for killing Lord Renner. He could not. 

Merlin was awake. He still looked wan and his breathing was laboured. His brain felt like soup, his head was swimming and his thoughts and speech were addled. Arthur had been elated and sorry that he wasn't there when Merlin woke up. 

Arthur hugged him, chest pressed against Merlin's, nose buried in his neck, hands twisted in his hair. He stayed like that for a beat too long then withdrew. 

"Never leave me again," Arthur said, too shaky to sound threatening.

"Who was it?" Merlin asked, voice thin and weak. His throat was bruised and his voice scraped its way out of his throat. 

"Lord Renner." Arthur's mouth tasted bitter.

Merlin was silent, absorbing the information.

"Don't kill him," Merlin rasped. 

Arthur looked pained, he closed his eyes and tried not to grimace. 

"It's too late. He's- I already- he's-" Arthur choked, turning his head away. Arthur had promised himself he would never burn anyone at the stake. He didn't want to remind people of the many pyres built in his father's reign and what they stood for. 

Merlin's hand fell out of the covers, hanging limply. It was an invitation, a request. Arthur took it and Merlin made a great effort to squeeze his hand. 

"I was so angry," Arthur whispered, head bent to rest his forehead on the bed, so Merlin couldn't see his face. His mind was transported back to the royal balcony where he had stood and watched a man he knew burn. He always felt guilty for causing death no matter how much it was deserved.

"Shh, Arthur, it's okay. I'm okay," Merlin reassured. 

"You did what you had to. I'm glad he's gone." Merlin's voice was a whistle, a reminder of the terrible thing Lord Renner had attempted. 

Arthur stayed with Merlin for the rest of the evening and was reluctant to leave him when night fell. Merlin had to push Arthur off, back to his room. "Go get some sleep, clotpole." 

A few days passed and Merlin remained under Gaius' careful watch. He had been relieved of his duties until further notice, Arthur had been intent on Merlin getting better. Possibly a little too intent. 

"Arthur, I've been in this room for days. How about we go for a walk?" Merlin suggested. 

Arthur helped Merlin up. Merlin was fed up of staying in his room. Arthur went with him for a quick turn in the fresh air. 

"The lower town kept vigil for you whilst you were unconscious. They stood with candles, praying for you," Arthur told him. His palm was curled around Merlin's side as they slowly made their way over the grass. 

"Really?" He seemed surprised. Arthur nodded. 

They walked through the lower town. Arthur wanted to show him the decorations that the people had put up on hearing of Merlin's recovery. 

The citadel was criss crossed with colourful decorative strips hung on string. The banners brightened the street. Merlin was touched they'd gone to so much effort to celebrate his revival.

Merlin and Arthur stopped, just looking at the banners. The people wanted him as their ruler, as Arthur's spouse, they appreciated him and cared enough to hold vigil for him. Merlin felt overwhelmed, he couldn't contain the swell of emotion that bubbled up inside him.

Arthur saw Merlin's eyes water and panicked. "Are you in pain? We should go back to Gaius-" 

Merlin shook his head, hand covering his mouth. 

"You feel sick?" Arthur asked. Merlin laughed. 

"No. No, just-" He looked up at the banners. Arthur looked at him. 

Arthur understood. He rolled his eyes. "You big girl," he said, using the insult as an excuse to put his arm around him.

*****

The wood was horizontal. Merlin blinked. He'd been lying in his old cot- Gaius had wanted to keep an eye on him for the night, not five minutes ago. He vaguely remembered that his eyes had closed for a second, drowsiness edging him towards sleep, and now he was wide awake and in the middle of a forest. A horizontal forest.

He rolled onto his back and felt the crunch of leaves underneath him. Above him the sky was a dark blue, a twig was sticking into his back. He groaned and made his way to his feet, confusion and lethargy slowing him. He had been lying on a bed of leaves. It looked unusual in the middle of a mostly bare forest floor. 

"Merlin?" 

He whipped around, heart pounding. 

"Arthur?" Arthur did not look happy. 

"Where are we? Merlin, what have you done?" He was in his nightshirt. 

_This way Emrys_

He startled at how close the words sounded. They were in his head, the druids were calling him. 

"This way," Merlin called over his shoulder. Arthur huffed and followed him. The druids showed him the way, gold flashes illuminating the path, fading, flashing, fading then flashing before disappearing again. Temporary beacons to guide the way.

The forest opened out into a clearing, bluebells dotted the edge of the woods. The copse of trees surrounding the glade glittered with glow worms, lighting up the druid assembly that awaited them. The moon was full, pale and lulling. 

They were all clad in white, dresses for the women and long robes for the men. The moon bleached them, they seemed to glow softly under it. 

There was one however who wore a fine decorated green cloak, it trailed to the floor. He stood at the forefront of the group and his smile showed his benevolence and his reverence of Merlin. 

He was the one that greeted them. 

"Emrys." 

They all bowed, Merlin blushed. 

"I am Brannon. We are sorry for any confusion we have caused, this was the only way we could reach you." 

"What is this?" Arthur asked. 

"We have called you both here for Emrys' Coronation. He is to be crowned Druid King." 

"Oh no- I, I couldn't. Really, I'm no king, I-" Merlin argued. 

A druid came up to him and lifted Merlin's tunic from him. It was so swift and unexpected that Merlin didn't have time to react. He stood shirtless, the night air cooling him as the druid stepped back, taking Merlin's shirt with him. Arthur moved forward, hand reaching to his side where a sword would normally be. 

"Relax," The druid urged soothingly. "It is part of the ceremony. We mean no harm to either of you." 

Merlin shot a reassuring look to Arthur, though he himself seemed a little confused about what exactly was happening. Arthur grumbled. 

Brannon's brow furrowed when he saw the burn mark on Merlin's back. His expression smoothed and his hand reached around, it looked like he was going in for a hug but his chest didn't press against Merlins and his hand hovered instead, an inch above the mark. Brannon's eyes flared gold and Arthur saw the shiny red patch of skin disappear, returning to its pale, unblemished state. 

"Thank you," Merlin said quietly. 

Another druid approached, a girl this time. Her hair was in braids. She had a bowl in her hand, she passed it to Brannon. 

"Now, for the ceremony." 

He dipped his fingers in the bowl, they were now tainted with blue pigment. 

"For the union." Brannon drew a symbol onto Merlin's skin, just above his heart. It was a configuration of lines and a circle, they tangled together and laced back into themselves. It brushed just over his collarbone. Merlin tried not to jolt from the cold touch. 

Brannon continued.

"For the blessing." An intricate weaving of shapes and lines welded together, appearing on his left hip with each stroke of the blue powder.

"For the self." On his ribcage a dragon slowly flourished into being- a symbol of the Pendragons and sign of his dragonlord heritage. Another was added just above it, three overlapping triangles framed by a circle. 

Brannon's thumb edged along Merlin's nose and swept over his cheeks before he stepped back. 

Arthur was watching Merlin with dark eyes, tracing the swirls on his body. The light of the glow worms paled his skin and illuminated the markings. He was beautiful.

Merlin turned to him, face painted with blue powder that swirled around his sharp cheekbones and arched along his lip, blue swooped below his chin and down his nose. His golden eyes shone, dancing as they watched Arthur. 

Their attention was called back to the group. 

Brannon was holding an ivy wreath in his hands, it was dotted with delicate blue flowers matching the markings on his body. 

No oath was spoken and no title was given. It was a show of respect, a druid king to represent the rebirth of magic. It was the equivalent of a figurehead queen.

Merlin smiled and stooped a little so that Brannon could place the wreath on his head.

The druids knelt before him. They each pledged their allegiance. 

"I pledge my loyalty to you, King of the Druids and Consort to the High King of Albion." Both Merlin and Arthur flushed at that. 

"The gods will shine on you." 

The sun started to rise, the druids were blinding in their white clothes. Merlin squinted, blinked against the brightness and then they were gone. 

When they woke they were both in Arthur's bed, the red duvet pulled over them. They were twined with one another, Merlin was shirtless, his leg was thrown over Arthur's and his bare chest was pressed against Arthur's clothed one. His cheek rested against Arthur's shoulder. 

Flowers littered the bed. Merlin's pillow was smeared with blue, where the face paint had come off. The other symbols that were drawn on him in the dream were still intact, though some were a little smudged.

An awkward scramble ensued, Merlin rushed out of the bed. 

He grabbed a shirt, which happened to be one of Arthur's night shirts, and went off to fetch their breakfast. 

Neither of them spoke of it when they next saw each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The old medieval kingdom Strathclyde is now known as Glasgow. Dyfnwal was a king of Strathclyde but it was later, in the 9th century.
> 
> The Symbol Meanings (during Merlin's coronation):
> 
> "For the union" was a Serch Bythol which symbolizes the everlasting love between two people.
> 
> "For the blessing" A dara knot represents the Oak tree which is the symbol of destiny, power, strength, wisdom, leadership and endurance. (Whoo really got em all in that one symbol ahaha) 
> 
> "For the self" The Trinity knot/triquetra symbolizes immortality. The dragon was to show his dragonlord heritage, his magic and his place by Arthur's side. 
> 
> And the marks on Merlin's face don't mean anything they just wanted him to look pretty and druid-y 😆


	6. May

MAY

Once Gaius had deemed Merlin to be stable enough, the wedding arrangements were put in place. 

There wouldn't be time to send out the necessary invites, they didn't want to wait any longer. Neither of them were particularly disappointed that the size of the ceremony was to be smaller than originally planned; a more private wedding suited them. 

Arthur grew more sluggish and was plagued by headaches that had worsened in their severity as Beltane neared. However he seemed in perfect health for his wedding day, his ear didn't ache, his head didn't hurt, his vision wasn't fuzzy and he felt lighter. 

Arthur was thinking of how they would marry as equals, images of Merlin bare chested and inked with blue filtered through and distracted him from his nerves and any pre-wedding jitters he might have suffered. 

Despite the wedding being hastily assembled, it was a tasteful affair. The decorations were simple, the clothes were ready- they had been made immediately after they had announced their engagement, as had the rings. Arthur was thankful for his own foresight. 

Arthur was at the end of the Great Hall, waiting for Merlin's entrance. Gwaine caught his eye and winked as the doors opened. Merlin glided down, cheeks pink as everyone watched him. 

He wore a blue cape, it billowed behind him. Underneath the cape was a light, white styled tunic overlaid with silver, which was barely visible except for when it reflected in the light as Merlin walked towards him. Dark brown breeches hugged his thighs and loosened at his calves. 

Arthur stared. Merlin's outfit had seemed simple and plain but on Merlin it looked detailed, a fine creation. He looked noble, he looked like a king. Merlin smiled as he stood before Arthur. Arthur blinked.

Merlin smiled nervously and began his vows. He held both of Arthur's hands in his, his own were clammy as he spoke.

"I pledge myself to you, my magic and my life. To serve you in all matters and to listen and trust you. I swear I will protect you or die at your side. I promise I will honour this vow." 

Arthur looked at him and leaned forward a little so that their foreheads touched. "And I promise the same."

Merlin released their hands. 

Arthur got the rings out shakily, his fingers fumbling. They'd both agreed that Arthur's left hand should keep Gwen's ring and Gwen's ring only. Arthur's right hand would hold his mother's ring and the ring that Merlin would give him. 

Merlin was ready to put it on Arthur's finger when he noticed the inlay on it. In the flat of the band there was a Celtic knot inscribed neatly into the metal. 

It struck Merlin speechless. Arthur had meant to tell him sooner but what with the attack on Merlin and the drama of the past few days, he’d forgotten. 

Merlin hesitated and his eyes grew watery, he placed the ring on Arthur's finger then drew him into a hug; he clutched at Arthur's shoulder for a second, before pulling back to receive his own ring.

The kiss they shared took both of them by surprise. Arthur leaned forward for what was meant to be a quick kiss but dissolved into a much deeper one. Arthur grunted as one of Merlin's hands moved up to thread through his hair. Their heads tilted, changing the angle of the kiss. 

Someone whistled, probably Gwaine.

The fingers that had been gripping Arthur's shoulder loosened, the others slowly unwinding themselves from golden locks of hair. They parted, lips glossy and cheeks flushed. 

Arthur stepped up, moving in front of Merlin, to face the audience. Merlin's back was to them, his eyes on Arthur.

"Do you solemnly swear to govern the people of this kingdom and its dominions according to its statutes, customs, and laws?" 

"I do," Merlin said. 

"Do you promise to exercise mercy and justice in your deeds and judgement?" Arthur presided. 

"I do." 

"And do you swear allegiance to Camelot now, and it's king, for as long as you shall live?" 

"Yes," he breathed. "I mean, I do." 

"By the sacred laws vested in me, I crown you, Merlin of Ealdor, as King's Consort," Arthur stated. 

Arthur placed the circlet on Merlin's head and Merlin stepped to stand next to him. He turned to face everyone. 

"Long live the Consort!" Arthur proclaimed. The chant was repeated, Gwaine was particularly enthusiastic. 

A feast concluded their wedding and Merlin’s coronation. Merlin noted a bowl of peaches were available. He looked at Arthur who felt Merlin's stare, his eyes crinkled when he smiled at the peaches before he continued his conversation with Leon.

Arthur noted Lady Teith at the end of the table. She was sat close to Lady Langley, so close that their shoulders were pressed together. Their chairs weren't as far apart as everyone else's. Arthur hid a smile in his cup, understanding now why Lady Langley's marriage was so successful despite the lack of feelings involved. 

A great amount of congratulation was given, not just by their friends but also by the council. 

There were one or two comments from the knights that neither of them could decipher. Leon had said "I'm glad you're finally together." And Elyan had agreed, as if it were an inevitable thing. It had perplexed Merlin. How could any of them have known that this was what the future held? 

Gwaine had added "I got a good lot of coins for this wedding, so drinks are on me." That one had actually made Arthur scratch his head he'd been thinking so hard trying to figure it out. Nonetheless, they were appreciative of the kind regard.

They hadn't expected the influx of letters that they had received in the days leading up to the wedding, congratulating them. Merlin was touched. The note from Elena and Izad had been particularly charming. 

Wedding presents had flooded in and Arthur and Merlin had waited to open them until the feast. Merlin's eyes were wide at the many gifts that were brought in for Arthur and him to open. His favourite had been from the druids, who had made a point of Merlin's new status. They had given him a silver circlet adorned with glass leaves. He swapped the plain one he was wearing for the Druid circlet. 

Merlin looked like a fae prince with it on, the green of the false leaves making his eyes a more vibrant blue and his smile was a wide, elfish grin. 

Merlin felt warm with affection and wine. He was grateful that people were pleased with the match. The lower town celebrated. Hunith had sent her love to them both and elicited a promise that they would visit as soon as they could. Merlin was sorry that he couldn't invite her but they couldn't have delayed the wedding any longer. 

The circlet was lopsided by the end of the night. Merlin had been talking non-stop, drinks had sloshed and all the peaches had been scoffed by a certain someone. The happy couple both wore languid smiles. 

When they finally got back to Arthur's chamber, Arthur's eyes were struggling to stay open. 

The awkwardness of sharing a bed was postponed until the next morning. For now they both flopped onto Arthur's large bed, already half asleep and curled up with each other, not even bothering to get under the sheets.

&&&

"Up you get," Merlin announced as he swept back into the room. He had got up hours earlier, used to his regular hours that matched the servants’. 

"What for?" Arthur mumbled into his pillow.

"A bath." 

"Where's breakfast?" Arthur questioned. 

"Say ah," Merlin said as he came over to the bed.

"Ah?" Arthur began but was cut off when a scone was shoved indelicately into his mouth. He spat crumbs.

"Merlin!" Arthur admonished, his voice muffled as Merlin retreated. 

He was stood by the window, sorting through various scrolls. 

"I've set aside some practice time," he stated, much to Arthur's joy. 

"Ah wonderful, what for? Quarterstaff? Battleaxe?" That joy soon depleted when Merlin said,

"For your speech." 

Arthur sighed and shuffled higher up onto the pillow, his head tilted to watch Merlin. "Who to?" 

"The guild of harness polishers," Merlin quoted before going back to scribbling words down. 

Merlin was a bent figure, the smudgy lines of his silhouette were sharpened by the light streaming in through the window. It caught in his hair and made it shine. 

Arthur surveyed his bitten lips, the dexterity of his hands, his knuckles around the quill as it made scratchy noises against the parchment. 

Merlin paused in thought, the angular slant of his cheekbones highlighted as his head tilted in thought. Ink splattered fingers halted as his eyes glanced up and away, reaching over to Arthur then returning to the speech. 

Arthur blinked. The words finally resonated and he asked, eyebrows high. "The Guild of who?"

"I don't know anything about polishing," he added hurriedly. 

Merlin smiled, checking over his speech. "Fortunately, I do."

Arthur watched, vaguely horrified at the huge scribbled over parchment. "That'll take hours to learn," he said. 

Merlin's voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. "You don't have hours." 

Merlin continued, quill balanced in his hand as he moved down the list of things Arthur had to do today.

"Then you're to inspect the guard and after that you have to perform a Freemans ceremony."

Arthur dramatically flopped backwards, his head thrown into soft feather down pillows. "I never get anytime to myself," he grumbled and yanked the covers over himself. 

"I know, it’s almost like having to work," Merlin said, false sympathy seeping in. Arthur didn't know how easy he had it. 

Merlin rushed over to Arthur at the lack of response, it really was a busy day Arthur wasn't allowed to fall back asleep. 

"Come on, you don't have time for this," Merlin said, Arthur rolled over, a grouchy look creasing his brow followed by a noise of protest. 

There was a slight grapple between the two over the covers in an attempt to get Arthur out of bed. 

"Out of bed, now. Out," Merlin demanded, Arthur dragged the covers onto the floor as he tumbled over the edge. 

"Come on, Arthur," Merlin encouraged as Arthur lay still on the floor, too lazy to get up. 

"No. I don't want to get up," Arthur said, his voice rising like heat as he remained cocooned on the floor in his duvet. 

"You may be king but you can't lay in bed all day. Get up. You have a speech to learn," Merlin said as he fetched Arthur's smart red shirt that Merlin had hung up the previous night in preparation for today.

Merlin crouched down to help Arthur untangle himself and stand up. 

"Can't you do it for me, as Consort?" Arthur said as he was levered up onto his feet. 

Merlin tutted. "I knew you only married me to make me do your job as well as mine," he joked. 

"Not the _only_ reason," Arthur teased back before starting his day. 

Merlin, meanwhile, spent most of his day strengthening Camelot's wards and visiting the magical guilds that had been established. 

Arthur had started to develop magic guilds when it was initially announced that he had to marry. Arthur had started them in the hopes that they could find an alternative to marriage to save Camelot. As the months had passed, the guilds had built up in traction and more sorcerers had joined. A system of mutual aid had formed, one that encouraged learning and focused the use of magic for better purposes. 

Merlin often visited them to see their progress and when Arthur wasn't busy, he'd join him. Although Merlin wasn't Court Sorcerer, the responsibility had fallen to him to check up on the guilds. Mostly because of his status as Emrys. The sorcerer's in the guilds looked up to him, admired him. 

The Magical Guilds were currently working on medical innovations, which Merlin was particularly interested in. Merlin would often bring Ausra with him, the little red dragon would always cause quite a stir. After Ausra's fire hiccups phase passed, the guild grew very fond of her. 

The council had been unhappy about Merlin keeping Ausra, throwing around words like "dangerous creature" and reminding everyone of the attack on Camelot all those years ago when Merlin had freed Kilgarrah. 

The council members tried to appeal to the knights but soon stopped trying. The knights had been enamoured with Ausra after Merlin, unable to find Gaius and not trusting Ausra to be left alone, had asked them to look after her. It was under the knight's care that Ausra had become very fond of grapes and chicken. Now whenever she saw either of them, which was often, she'd chirrup and claw at Merlin when he ignored her as the food passed by. 

Merlin, Arthur and Ausra were in their chambers. Gaius sometimes cared for Ausra when Merlin and Arthur were both too busy but mostly she stayed with them. 

They had put a basket down for her to sleep in but she was a stubborn thing and kept trying to crawl onto the bed. She huffed and meeped until one of them let her on. 

Once she was asleep, Merlin would gently place her back into the basket. But for now, he was indulging her. Merlin was laid diagonal across the bed on his stomach playing tug of war with Ausra who growled playfully and yanked at the rope between her teeth. The ring on Merlin's finger flashed as he gripped the rope.

Arthur was sorting through the documents on his desk, although that had slowly devolved into watching the two of them with a silly smile painted over his face. 

Oh, Arthur thought, catching himself. _Oh_. 

_Oh no._

He was in love with Merlin. 

Arthur thought back to the Freeman's ceremony and how the whole time his eyes had sought Merlin's, how he relied on him. How obvious his feelings were, to everyone but himself. 

He re-evaluated everything. The wedding, Alasdair, every time he'd felt that familiar but unknown emotion tug at him.

He thought about his dreams, which had been filled with deep blue crystal caves, black forests and white mountains and Merlin; amongst it all, always, was Merlin. 

The build up of emotion and realisation had been so slow within himself, a part of him feared Merlin already knew. 

Arthur dropped his gaze and his elbow knocked the inkwell and black spilled out, sliding over the documents and over his shirt sleeve. "Oh crap, crap-" He started to hyperventilate. 

"Arthur? Arthur, just breathe. It's fine. It's just some ink, it's gone now. Alright?" Merlin was by his side. 

Arthur swallowed deep breaths and focused on Merlin's voice. He calmed. 

"Hey, you're okay," Merlin said, stroking the hairs at the nape of Arthur's neck. 

Arthur saw that Merlin had used magic to clear the ink, the dark evidence of the stark truth had been removed, disappeared as if it was never there. 

Merlin's fingers were pressing into his arm. "Are you alright?" 

Arthur nodded. Ausra had stopped chewing the rope and was now sat on the end of the bed. She looked worried. 

He smiled at her. "I'm fine." 

He abandoned the paperwork in favour of distracting himself, joining Ausra on the bed. He still felt a little shaken.

Merlin came to sit with them, a little confused and uneasy. Ausra seemed on edge as well, so Merlin reassured her.

Arthur knew Merlin was a dragonlord but he'd never heard him speak it until now. It had some surprising effects, despite his recent revelation.

Arthur swallowed. "What's that?" 

"Nonsense, mostly. Ausra just likes chatter. Not many people can communicate with her, she can't say much yet that isn't in Dragon Tongue," he said and turned back to Ausra.

Arthur rolled onto his front to hide his… discomfort as Merlin continued to speak to Ausra. 

Merlin patted Ausra and picked up the rope, dragging it over the duvet. Ausra wiggled and pounced on it. Arthur took over and they continued the same game until she grew tired and fell asleep. She snoozed happily, a lump, half buried under the covers.

****

Ausra came to practice with Arthur. The knights doted on her and she soaked up the attention. 

The knights sparred and Ausra blew fire balls and attempted to speak. Gwaine had tried goading her into talking with tidbits he'd managed to get off Cook. However, it didn't work. Merlin had explained that, although she was fluent in Dragon Tongue, Ausra was still too young to speak any other language. 

Percy was entertaining Ausra and Gwaine, it seemed, was entertaining the knights. 

He had been making a lewd joke in the form of a pun about Merlin and Arthur. All of the knights laughed and added their own jokes. That's when Arthur realised what they meant. 

Arthur was hesitant to say anything, in case he'd misunderstood. He waited, listened. Arthur realised he had to set things straight. 

"You do know we aren't... Together, right?" Arthur said, turning to them. 

"Huh?" Gwaine's mouth was full of apple. 

"We're married but we aren't...it's a marriage of convenience," Arthur told them. 

"Oh. It's a joke." Gwaine laughed after swallowing the last of his apple down. "Very funny." 

Arthur looked angry. "I'm serious. We aren't... Merlin and me, we're not-" 

Gwaine's eyes widened, he turned to the others disbelieving. They wore similar expressions. 

Leon frowned. "But...The wedding and the vows and the kiss..." 

Arthur blushed. "We were just playing our part." 

Gwaine was still sputtering, speaking in half whispers to himself, trying to make sense of it. "Lip touch at...feast... Merlin...kitchen, your nightshirt." 

Arthur ignored his mutterings. 

"Are you serious?" Percy asked. Ausra had been left where Merlin usually sat.

"Why wouldn't I be? Merlin is just a friend." 

"I want a refund," Percy muttered. Gwaine poked him in reply. 

Elyan looked furious. He had seen Arthur fall for Merlin- they all had seen how the looks Arthur gave Merlin started to hold a similarity to the looks he'd once given Gwen. Elyan had approved and felt Gwen would be happy at the development and now here Arthur was, saying none of it was real. 

"You, Arthur Pendragon, are an idiot," Elyan said and stormed away. 

Arthur blinked. "What?" He appealed to the others. None of them looked at him. 

"But... Don't you have feelings for him?" Gwaine asked, face scrunched up with confusion. Leon watched for Arthur's response with intent eyes. 

"No." Arthur had hesitated a beat too long. He pretended it was because he thought the idea preposterous. "No, of course I don't have feelings for my manservant-" 

"Husband," Gwaine corrected. 

"For Merlin," Arthur said. 

"Someone should check on Elyan. I'm going to get my mace, I left it in the armoury," Arthur said before hurrying to the safety of the castle, stone walls separating him and his knights. Confusion and embarrassment warmed Arthur's cheeks. 

Leon found him in the armoury. Arthur had been staring at a shoulder plate when he came in. 

"Does he know that you love him?" Leon asked softly. 

Arthur thought about lying but Leon had known him longer than any of the other knights had, he would see right through it. 

"No," Arthur replied. "Nor will he ever." He gave Leon a firm look. 

Leon looked sad but gave a single nod. 

Ausra had gotten fed up of the lack of attention and was annoyed that Arthur had disappeared, so when he came back she flew up and sat on his head. She flapped her wings happily when Arthur gave up trying to get her off to continue with training. He sat with her for a while, much to Ausra's joy, then ended the practice session. 

Arthur left the field with mixed feelings and a chatty Ausra. He had planned on sparring all day but felt oddly downcast, so he returned to his room and completed the paperwork he was meant to do the other day. 

Ausra stretched out onto her hind legs and made little chirruping noises.

Arthur threw her a chicken leg, she fell on it ravenously and gave happy, contented sounds as she gnawed on the bone. 

She crawled over to Arthur when she was done. She stood up and hugged his leg before dropping down again. 

"Ar-thur." Arthur patted her on her head, the little dragon purred. 

"Pendrakon." Arthur's petting paused. 

He turned to her, she was watching him with wide eyes and getting agitated that the petting had stopped. 

"Ar-thur. Pendrakon," she said more insistently, nuzzling into the side of his leg. 

He soothed her, hand stroking her mechanically. 

She had learned a word. Two words, actually. He couldn't wait to tell Merlin when he got back. 

Arthur picked Ausra up, she squealed and settled in his lap. She squirmed a little before getting comfy. Her tiny chest rumbled with huge purrs. Arthur smiled and used one hand to stroke her, the other was holding the parchment he was reading. 

Merlin came in some time later to find them both asleep. Arthur had slumped in his chair, a few papers were scattered on the floor, his hand hung limply. Ausra was snuggled, half on his chest and half in his lap sound asleep. The sight warmed Merlin's heart. He gently picked Ausra up and placed her in her basket. 

He woke a sleepy Arthur to move him to the bed. He wanted so desperately to place soft kisses on Arthur's face. Instead, he slowly led Arthur to the bed and tucked him in. 

Morning broke and Merlin still had the duty of bringing Arthur his meals, as was their agreement. He had just finished setting breakfast up when Arthur stirred. 

Arthur blinked and lifted his head from the pillow. 

Merlin swore Arthur's sleepy gaze had lingered on his mouth before it moved to check on Ausra. The basket was empty. Arthur shuffled up. 

"Where's Ausra?" He mumbled sleepily, raking a hand through his mussed up hair. 

Merlin pointed to his neckerchief. 

"Hmpf?" Arthur questioned, rolling off his pillow. He lifted the covers and got out. 

Arthur looked where Merlin had pointed to see Ausra nestled there, totally oblivious to the world, curled up in Merlin's neckerchief. 

Arthur had a vivid image then of giving Merlin a sneaky kiss. Instead, he pulled a tunic and a pair of breeches on before joining them for breakfast. The smell of sausages woke Ausra from within the confines of her makeshift cradle. Merlin laughed and loosened it so she could scramble out. 

She wreaked havoc once she was fully awake. She gobbled the sausages and staggered around on the table, knocking over goblets and spilling drinks on the floor. She ate too quickly which made her hiccup, which wouldn't be a problem if she didn't hiccup fire. 

The cozy domestic morning Arthur had briefly imagined was not going to become a reality anytime soon. Part of Arthur's curtains were slightly singed. Merlin had summoned magic to put the fire out but there was nothing to be done about the burn mark left in its wake. 

Merlin had to leave eventually to check on the magical guilds. He'd also promised one of the younger members that he'd teach her how to summon flowers. She had fallen for one of the boys working at the butchers and wanted to impress him. 

Arthur had a surprising lack of duties. There were no petitions, the council members were satisfied and unwilling to call a meeting. Camelot was prospering and had very few concerns. Arthur had to practice at some point but a small nuisance was taking up all his attention. 

Ausra mainly kept to the confines of their room. She had been entertaining herself with biting Arthur's comb. 

She was on the floor, curled around it, legs and talons gripping it as she chewed. Arthur got it from her eventually, though the comb now had some newly minted teeth marks. Arthur sighed. 

Her tail dragged behind her as she walked around on her hind legs, feet thumping a pitter patter sound as she walked around the stone floor of the king's chambers. 

There were some grapes left over from breakfast. Arthur picked them off and threw them one at a time. Ausra chased them, swallowing them as she caught them. 

As had become his custom when plagued with persistent thoughts, Arthur decided to write a letter. He was so busy jotting down words he didn't notice Ausra had started chewing the comb again. 

He put the quill down, having finished the letter. He waited for it to dry then folded it up and tucked it away, somewhere only he knew. But unknown to him, prying eyes were watching and dragons were curious creatures.

&&&&&&&

A few days passed. The evening was slowly sweeping over Camelot. Arthur had been summoned by the council on an urgent matter. To both Merlin and Arthur's surprise, they'd also requested that Merlin be there. 

"I have to go check something. I'll meet you outside the hall, yeah?" Arthur had said before hurrying off. 

Merlin was to take Ausra to Gaius. He knew she was somewhere in the room but he just couldn't find her. 

A chirrup came from under the bed. Merlin crouched down and Ausra appeared.

"What are you doing down there?" Merlin asked and moved to pick her up. She pressed back into the wooden panelling of the wall. Merlin's brow furrowed and he noticed a gap in the panelling. 

He muttered to himself, knowing that he'd have to fix it. Ausra had hopped out of the way so Merlin could inspect the damage more thoroughly but as he fiddled with it, he realised it wasn't a crack but a door to a secret compartment. He slid the panel aside. 

Inside it lay a silver box that Merlin was sure he'd never seen in all his time of serving Arthur. He took it out. There was no lock on it, the lid opened easily and Merlin was surprised at what it revealed. He didn't know what he'd been expecting but a box full of letters wasn't it. There was a book’s worth of parchment scribbled on, folded over and shoved into this box. He opened one and read it.

> _My father has made the most gormless idiot I've ever met my manservant. I hate his stupid dopey smile. I can't believe I've been lumped with him by my own father, who clearly can't see how incompetent he is. I'm sure he'll soon realise and correct his mistake. The sooner the better._

Merlin snorted, the next few letters continued in a similar vein. Not all of Arthur's scathing judgements were about Merlin, some of them were about visiting princes and noblemen he'd disliked. Arthur was an adult when he wrote these but you couldn't tell, it was like reading a five year olds thoughts.

> _I'll never tell him but I've grown quite fond of Merlin. He's the only friend I have and the thought of him leaving for Ealdor and not coming back annoyed me more than I thought it would. Morgana says I should stop being an idiot and just ask Merlin to stay but how can I when his mother and his village are in danger? What am I supposed to do?_

He hadn't realised Arthur had thought of Merlin as a friend so soon into their relationship.

None of the letters were dated but as he leafed through them Merlin could guess when they were written, partly due to the content in them but also because of the gradual improvement in handwriting. 

Merlin remembered when he'd first started transcribing Arthur's speeches for him and Arthur's drafts were often illegible. He had cramped writing that spiked and looped. Uther had also noticed and had got Arthur a special tutor to improve it. It was almost amusing how his progress was tracked in these banal, everyday notes. 

He smiled a little sadly when he got to the letters mentioning Gwen, Arthur had been smitten quite early on. 

Merlin nearly missed it but there was one letter he hadn't seen, it was half tucked under a compartment, a false bottom in the box. He gently eased it out.

> _Dear Merlin_

This one was more recent despite it being at the bottom of the pile. The paper hadn't discoloured and Arthur's handwriting had changed again after Gwen's death, as if some integral part of him had malfunctioned at her passing and he'd simply forgotten how to function.

It was the only letter in the box that was addressed to someone.

> _It's been many years since I've written one of these and my feelings have vastly changed. I've come to admire you, as more than a friend. It dawned on me recently and though I have tried to repress my feelings, it seems I am unable to keep them in check. I catch myself constantly, wanting to make you smile, wanting to touch you, dreaming about you._
> 
> _I miss you when you're not there, I look for you._
> 
> _The Pendragon curse will find a way to hurt you, somehow. Even with all your power. It's nearly killed you once already. I almost lost you and that was before I'd realised exactly how much you mean to me._
> 
> _You're my oldest friend. I love you, and for that reason, I must forget._

Merlin read it again, then again. He retraced the words, savouring them, as if they were kisses. He realised he was gripping the page and loosened his hold as he read it yet again.

When was this written? Was this recent? What did he mean, he must forget? A flurry of questions started whirling in Merlin's mind. 

Merlin hadn't heard Arthur approaching, hadn't heard him asking what was taking so long, so the sharp demand of "What are you doing?" came as a shock. 

Merlin jolted, dropping the paper and knocking the neat stack of letters in his surprise. They all fluttered to the floor.

"Arthur," Merlin said dumbly, shocked at the king's sudden appearance. 

Arthur was red faced. He grew pale, so white his face had a sickly glow, when he saw the silver box with it's gaping lid and realised what the papers on the floor were. He looked at Merlin, who looked back. 

"You-" Arthur gasped then turned abruptly on his heel. 

"Arthur," Merlin called. "Arthur, wait." 

He snatched his letter from the pile and rushed after Arthur, following him into the corridor. 

"Arthur!" Merlin called. Arthur stopped so suddenly, Merlin nearly ran into the back of him.

Arthur refused to turn around, so Merlin had to step around him so that they were face to face.

"What is this?" Merlin asked. Despite being stood right in front of him, Arthur refused to look at Merlin.

"Why were you snooping through my things? How did you find the letters?" Arthur's voice was cold, glacial and if Merlin didn't know him so well, he'd shudder at the icy tone. 

But he did know better. This was Arthur panicking, this was him locking down. 

"Ausra, she was- it doesn't matter." Merlin held the letter up. "When did you write this?"

The tops of Arthur's ears reddened. That meant it was recent. Merlin's heart soared then plummeted just as fast. 

"What did you mean, 'I must forget'? Arthur, what are you planning?" Arthur still didn't look at him. 

"Merlin," he said, at last. "Please, don't." Arthur's voice very rarely trembled, so Merlin was surprised at the quaver in it now.

"Whatever it is that you’re planning, you can't do it. Don't do it. Please, Arthur. I love you." 

All the air seemed to get sucked out of Arthur's lungs. Merlin took a step closer and he could breathe again.

"What?" 

Emotion hung between them, delicate as a gossamer thread. 

"I love you," Merlin repeated. His fist was curled, nerves made his nails cut into flesh as he waited for Arthur to make a move. Was Merlin too late? Had Arthur already done it? Did he still feel as he did in the letter? 

Arthur moved. Their foreheads leant against each other, Merlin’s breathing quickened in confusion and want. 

"I loved Gwen," Arthur admitted. "But I need you. I have always needed you. Merlin, I- I-"

Arthur's hands came up to cup Merlin's face. Their mouths met and fire burst. Gold laced through Merlin's veins and his skin glowed as their tongues clashed. They melded into a singular person before separating, Merlin was gasping hard. 

Arthur shifted, his fingers reaching up and threading themselves through Merlin's dark hair. 

"I can't lose you," Arthur breathed. 

"You won't," Merlin murmured, lips brushing Arthur's. "You won't."

They tangled together, hands pressing, mouths melding until Merlin pulled back. 

"The meeting- I still need to drop Ausra off," he said. 

"Right." Arthur's mouth was red and his hair ruffled. He cleared his throat. 

"I'll see you in there," Arthur said. 

"Yeah." Merlin sounded just as breathless and looked just as flushed. "Right, yeah." 

Merlin grabbed Ausra, who had been sat by the door. Merlin didn't see it but Ausra was absolutely delighted. 

&&&&

The council members were worried. There had been an increase in reports of floods and trees blocking roads. The harvest wasn't doing as well as it should and now there were rumours of plants bleeding red sap and patches of black spreading over fields. 

Arthur briefly wondered if it was to do with the prophecy. When Beltane came to pass, everyone had rejoiced. The prophecy has been stopped, Arthur lived, Camelot was fine. Arthur's headaches had gone, his nose no longer randomly bled and his eyesight was crystal clear. So it couldn't be the prophecy but then, what was causing these problems? 

The council appealed to Merlin. 

It was the first time Merlin had attended a council meeting since he and Arthur had married, the only time before that was when they had announced their engagement which hadn't been received very well. 

No one gave him the beady or mistrustful looks they had initially. It seemed Lord Renner's execution had brought home the severity of upsetting or harming the king's Consort. Those that had been in favour of the marriage cast a warm eye on Merlin when he arrived. 

Merlin had been invited to the meeting in the hopes that the magical guilds, if not Merlin himself, could find a solution or at the very least the cause. Merlin didn't have the answers the council sought and neither did any of the sorcerers from the guilds. 

The council members were growing more and more concerned. One of the fallen trees was blocking the main road out of Camelot and was therefore stalling trade. It was too late in the evening to send anyone out to remove the tree, whether by manual or magical means, and so the meeting was postponed until the morning. 

Merlin and Arthur returned to their chambers, discussing the problem right up until they reached the bed. 

Merlin flopped onto the bed, face first. "I hate council meetings," he muttered. "I never had to talk when I was a servant. I could just close my eyes and go to sleep- which I did, often, but now I have to pay attention and give my opinion and ugh." He buried his face in the pillow. 

Arthur smiled. "Oh yeah? Imagine how I feel. I've been dealing with them for years." 

Merlin moved, turning to lie on his side. His arm propped up his head. Arthur joined him, sitting opposite. 

"Well, at least I get why you complained so much now." 

Merlin's eyes flitted to the candles. He lit them, absentmindedly. His eyes flared like the yellow flame of the candles that now softly illuminated the room. 

"You have no idea," Arthur started. "How sexy that is." 

Merlin blushed. "Sexy?" 

"Yeah," Arthur breathed. "Very sexy." 

Merlin's blush faded, replaced by a cheeky grin. "Oh yeah? You like that, huh?" 

Merlin rose and swung his leg over, so that he was sat in Arthur's lap, his legs on either side of him. "Wanna see something else sexy?" 

Arthur grinned. "Were you always this cheesy or is this new?" 

"Well, I can leave if you don't like it-" Merlin threatened, starting to get up. 

"Hm, no," Arthur frowned and pushed Merlin back down. "I didn't say that I didn't like it." 

"Hm." Merlin's eyebrow quirked and his grin widened. 

Merlin played with Arthur's hair. The playful atmosphere kindled into a romantic one. They stayed there, foreheads pressed, arms around each other for a few minutes longer. 

"Did you mean it?" Merlin asked, voice deep. Arthur knew what he was asking. 

"Yes," Arthur said. 

Their lips brushed, softly at first then like tinder catching fire, they burned. 

The heat of want curled between them and raced through them. A hunger for skin and the ache that had lingered between them for so long, ignited.

They were flat against one another, a layer of clothing the only barrier between them. 

"Merlin, Merlin," Arthur hummed against Merlin's neck. His hands moved up Merlin's back, palms pressing into the material before dragging back to slip under and touch skin. 

Merlin gasped as Arthur's fingers slid over his shoulder blades and back down again to the small of his spine. His hands squeezed Merlin's hips then drifted to his waist to pull him closer. 

Merlin's hands tangled in Arthur's golden hair as they exchanged languorous kisses. 

Merlin groaned, his head tilting back to give Arthur better access as he nipped and sucked along Merlin's neck, making his way back up to Merlin's mouth to share a heated kiss. 

They heard the door creaking open. They pulled apart and looked towards the door. There was no one there but the door was slightly ajar.

They shared a look and carefully disengaged from one another. Merlin was about to investigate, one foot on the floor, when he noticed her sitting there. 

"What? What is it?" Arthur asked, kneeling to peer over the bedside to see what Merlin was looking at. 

It was Ausra. Her two huge eyes gleamed. "Ausra," Merlin sighed. 

He held his hand out and Ausra shrieked excitedly and struggled to clamber onto the bed, Merlin leant over and picked her up. Her wings flapped uselessly and she chirruped as Merlin set her down next to him. 

Ausra climbed all over Merlin before settling on his neck, curling up there. Her tail wrapped around him. It seemed to be her favourite spot. 

Ausra tried to say Arthur's name but hadn't quite managed it. Arthur was pleased she was trying though. Eventually they shifted her to settle between them. 

"What did you mean in the letter, when you said you would forget?" Merlin's voice was soft, almost a whisper. Ausra had started to fall asleep. 

Arthur sighed. "I had planned on asking one of the magical guilds to work on a potion or a spell that could suppress emotion or affect memory. I don't know if I would've gone through with it but I thought that if I could forget I was in love with you, you would be safe. Safe from the curse." 

Merlin's mouth opened but Arthur anticipated what he would say, "I know, 'there is no curse' but I still worry. I will always worry. Everyone I've ever loved has betrayed me or died, or both." 

"Arthur." Merlin swept a finger over Arthur's cheek, under his eyes then briefly over Arthur's lips. "I promise I will never betray you and I promise that I will keep us safe, as I always have done before."

For now, Merlin's reassurance would be enough. 

"I know you will, Merlin. I know." Arthur held Merlin's hand against his face for a moment before kissing his palm. "I love you," he mouthed. 

Merlin smiled. "I love you too." 

Ausra had fallen asleep. Arthur moved her to the basket so that he could have the bed, and Merlin, all to himself. 

Arthur was dressed in his nightshirt, the candle light made it translucent. The outline of his body was just visible as he pulled the covers back and slid under them. 

Merlin's hand reached for Arthur's under the quilt. Merlin faced the ceiling, breathing slow. 

"Merlin," Arthur said softly. Merlin met his gaze. "We don't have to do anything." 

Merlin gave a trembling smile and closed his eyes for a few seconds. "I want to. I just," he took a deep breath. "I can't believe this is real." 

"Have I mentioned the being cheesy thing? I've decided it's definitely new," Arthur said, pulling a grin from Merlin and soothing his nerves. 

Merlin rolled over and curled up against Arthur. "Sorry." His voice was muffled by Arthur's shoulder. 

"It's okay, I understand. Don't apologise. I know how you feel." 

Slowly, Merlin came out of his shell. His lips pressed light kisses into Arthur's neck.

"Are you sure?" Arthur asked again as they leaned into one another, noses brushing. 

"Yes." 

They kissed tenderly, it was laced with sweet anticipation. 

Merlin nosed down Arthur's neck, dropping kisses, he murmured. "Yes. I want to. I want to, Arthur, please." He moved his body against Arthur's, rocking into him with each plea. 

Arthur pressed Merlin back onto the bed and grabbed his wrists. He pinned them against the duvet, Merlin's wiry frame writhed beneath him, bucking up against him. Their fingers laced together. 

Merlin's pale, unblemished skin was like a tantalizing canvas, his deep jewel-blue eyes were a cistern of lust and Arthur drowned in them.

When they kissed, Merlin's magic reached out, gold fractured the air and shone in Merlin's eyes. Merlin tucked his face into Arthur's shoulder, embarrassed. 

"My magic loves you, you know," he said, stirring the hair behind Arthur's ear. Arthur grinned. 

"Well, good." He placed a kiss below Merlin's ear. "I love it too." 

Arthur's fair head trailed down, leaving hot, open mouthed kisses against Merlin’s throat, his shoulder, his chest. His tongue licked a stripe down the crease at Merlin's hip. His breath was hot against Merlin's skin as he moved lower and Merlin gasped, his cheeks flushed, as Arthur's tongue lapped at him, soft and wet. Merlin's foot pressed into the mattress as he pushed into the feeling. 

"Ngh, Arthur-" Merlin's voice was thready, breathless. 

Merlin's blue eyes seemed brightened by the blush on his cheeks, his star spangled eyes gazed into Arthur's, want and desire blazing as emotion translated into physical sensation. Merlin felt feverish and jittery. 

Arthur reached blindly for the vial of oil by the bedside, coating his fingers with it before replacing his tongue with the press of his fingers. Arthur’s knuckle caught then sank. Merlin's dark head was thrown back, his ribcage rose and fell with quick breaths and a deep flush dusted his face.

Arthur groaned at the tightness, Merlin's face was turned into his arm as he panted. Arthur opened him up, adding another finger as he suckled on the head of Merlin's jutting cock. He crooked his fingers and Merlin keened. 

"Oh god. Now. Please. Please Arthur, fuck me," Merlin begged, hands clutching at the covers. 

Arthur slicked himself up and pressed against Merlin's entrance, pushing in until he bottomed out. 

They stayed still, adjusting to it. Arthur's breaths puffed against Merlin's neck and Merlin's eyelids fluttered at the fullness. 

"M-Move," Merlin stuttered, legs tightening on Arthur's hips trying to move him forward. "Please," he said brokenly. 

Arthur gasped as Merlin clenched. "Not yet, not yet-" 

Merlin had waited long enough. He flipped them, surprisingly agile, as he settled on top of Arthur. 

"No. Now," Merlin demanded. 

"Oh fuck." Arthur's voice was thin and breathy as Merlin loomed above him, sliding a little deeper. 

Arthur's brow beaded with sweat. Merlin's hands rested on Arthur's chest, he rose on his knees then sank back down. Merlin gasped, head thrown back. The long pale column of his neck arched and his stomach turned concave when he inhaled a sharp breath. 

Arthur grabbed his thighs, supporting Merlin as he pushed down. A groan rumbled deep in Arthur's chest. He moved, sitting up so that he was flush against Merlin, their chests pressed together. 

Merlin's magic curled around him, possessive and wanting. Arthur brought Merlin toward him, their lips met as he thrust. 

"Gods, you're gorgeous like this," Arthur exhaled and Merlin grunted.

His hips flexed, pushing up into Merlin. They rocked together, kissing, fingers lacing into each other's hair and foreheads touching as Arthur supported Merlin against him as they moved. 

"I've d-dreamed of this," Arthur confessed between kisses.

"I have, too," Merlin choked, fastening his mouth over Arthur's. 

Their gazes locked and Arthur knew he wouldn't last. Merlin's eyes fluttered shut, unable to stand it as heat curled low in his stomach with each sensuous roll of their hips. 

Magic glowed softly around them, brightening with each thrust. Magic thrummed in him like a second heartbeat, frenzied, increasing as power throbbed and filled him, rising, rising.

Merlin's grip on Arthur's hair tightened, pulling at golden strands. 

His eyes opened, flashing gold as he came, an explosion of magic shimmered then faded away as wet heat spattered Arthur's chest. 

A reedy noise had escaped Merlin and his nails scraped down Arthur's back. Arthur's self-control shattered, the need for release was hot and sharp. Arthur's world narrowed down to this, this tightening, pulling feeling. A pleasure so intense it was close to pain. 

Arthur followed soon after, arm around Merlin's waist, he bit Merlin's shoulder as he pulsed inside him. 

Merlin collapsed boneless against him, slumping forward. Their chests stuck together with sweat and come. Arthur slumped heavily against the headboard, he looked wrecked, eyes glassy and half lidded, head tilted back against the wood as he caught his breath. Merlin littered him with kisses: his neck, his face, his forehead. They both winced when Merlin got off. He grabbed a cloth and cleaned them. 

Merlin threw the soiled rag onto the floor and splayed himself over Arthur. He closed his eyes and listened as Arthur's heart rate slowed, his ear pressed to Arthur's chest. 

"I love you," Arthur whispered, hand stroking Merlin's hair.

Merlin leaned forward and placed a kiss on Arthur's mouth. He took one of Arthur's hands and wound their fingers together. 

"I do not have the words for how much I love you," Merlin said, nuzzling him. 

Arthur looked at their hands, their rings glanced across one another as their fingers tangled together. "The fact that you do is enough for me." 

Merlin smiled. His head drifted back down onto Arthur's chest.

Later, much later, after the sky had fully darkened, Merlin tumbled out of bed in search of a drink. He rubbed sleepily at his eyes as he sneaked into the kitchen. 

Merlin helped himself to a jug of water to bring back up to Arthur's chambers. 

"Merlin?" Merlin startled, the jug in his hand spilled a little. 

Gwaine was stood in the shadows, three apples in one hand and a pie in the other. "I won't tell if you don't." 

"What’re you doing up so late?" Gwaine asked as he surveyed Merlin. "Ah. Worked things out then?" Gwaine pointed to his neck. 

Merlin's hand flew to it, cupping it, but it was too late, Gwaine had already seen and was grinning widely. Merlin grew pink. 

"Get some sleep, yeah?" Gwaine winked, bit into one of the apples and sauntered out of the kitchen.

$$$$$$$

Sunshine filtered through the thick curtains, tainting the room a deep red. Merlin mumbled and shifted closer to Arthur, who's arms came up to wrap around him. 

They remained in a warm, drowsy embrace, exchanging occasional soft, sleepy kisses and littering nonsense until a servant entered the room. 

The servant determinedly didn't look at them as he served their breakfast, piling plates of food, a canteen of ale and a loaf of bread on the table before hastily exiting, the empty jug from the night before went with him. 

Merlin was too embarrassed to question why a servant had brought their breakfast up, seeing as that was a duty Merlin supposedly kept. 

He tucked his face into Arthur's chest, cheeks hot as he hid. Arthur's arms tightened around him and he let out a deep laugh though he too had a splash of pink high on his cheeks. 

They shared a few more kisses, Arthur sucked Merlin's bottom lip into his mouth gently, his fingers cupped his jaw before they decided to get up. 

Arthur slipped from the covers first, lean and unclothed as he went towards the table. Merlin followed shortly after, though not nearly so elegantly nor so naked. Merlin had dragged the top covers with him, wrapping the duvet around him as he padded barefoot to join Arthur. 

The train of material dragged behind him as he walked to the table.

"Hm. This looks nice." Merlin's voice was syrupy and satiated, his eyes flickered down Arthur's body. 

He helped himself to some food, stuffing it straight into his mouth instead of bothering with a plate. He shook crumbs off the blanket he was holding around himself. 

Arthur watched him with a fond smile.

"Don't suppose you want to share some of those covers?" 

"Hmm, no." Merlin smiled, happy to ogle Arthur's body as he snacked on strawberries. 

Merlin had got fed up of eating and flopped back onto the bed, he rolled over so he was sprawled out on his front, the duvet soft underneath him, his legs parted as he lazed there. 

Arthur came over, licking strawberry juice from his fingers before whipping the blanket away. Merlin jolted at the kiss of cold air that touched his body. 

He looked over his shoulder to see Arthur's eyes blown, the blue swallowed by the black. Arthur's finger drew a line up Merlin's foot, his hand cupped Merlin's calf and moved up until he was kneeling between Merlin's spread legs. 

Merlin watched him, eyes glittering as he peaked at him from beneath his arm. He raised his hips from the bed, inviting him. 

Arthur grabbed Merlin's ankle and pulled him down, closer, and turned him gently so that they faced each other. Merlin blinked up at him, expectant. 

Arthur dragged his thumb across Merlin's full lush mouth, red from the strawberries and early morning kisses. 

"You're so beautiful," Arthur said, awe in his voice. Merlin blushed, red colouring his cheeks. 

"So are you." 

Merlin grabbed Arthur's shoulder and brought him down, his ankles crossed over Arthur’s back, caging him in. 

"I love these ears." Arthur's voice was crushed velvet and it made Merlin shudder. Arthur's teeth lightly grazed along the shell of Merlin's ear. "God Merlin, your ears-" 

"Arthur, Arthur." Merlin didn't realise he had started to plead softly until Arthur hushed him. 

He mouthed at Merlin's collarbone, where the druids had marked him.

A huge purr-ing noise made Arthur freeze. 

Oh, God. They'd completely forgotten about Ausra. 

Merlin must've heard it too as he shoved Arthur away and covered himself with the blanket. 

"Merlin!" Arthur's voice was a furious whisper. He dived to get some clothes and yanked the nearest pair of breeches on, which happened to be Merlin's. 

Ausra gave a tired yawn and crawled out of her basket. She sniffed the air, smelling the remnants of breakfast and nearly wandered right into Arthur, who hadn't moved. He was still wearing a pair of too tight breeches. 

Ausra looked thrilled to find both of them awake. She wanted to be let up onto the bed but Merlin was hiding under the covers, so Arthur distracted her with leftover bacon and cabbage which unfortunately gave her hiccups. It gave Merlin a chance to get dressed though. 

"Oh, Arthur," Merlin had said, watching as Ausra set fire to the bed canopy. 

They were going to be late for the council meeting. 

When they entered, Elyan saw how rumpled the clothing they both wore was and shot a look at Leon, who had also glanced over. No one else seemed to notice and continued to clamour about the tree situation. 

"It's a miracle," one council member said. 

"It's magic," someone else stated.

"It must've been an incorrect report," another muttered. 

"No, it was..." 

Arthur sat, Merlin took the seat next to him. Arthur took control. "What's happened to the tree?" 

"That's the question, sire. We don't know. Apparently it hasn't blocked the road, in fact it hasn't fallen over at all." 

"The tree that had fallen is back where it was, upright, as if it had never fallen," Lord Teith informed him. "But there is a line circling the trunk where it is believed it had first broken."

"I don't understand, did the tree fall or not?" Arthur asked. 

"It did but it seems to have reversed itself. Possibly magic, or a misguided report, we're unsure but it's no longer blocking the road." 

Merlin reddened suddenly with realisation. Arthur threw him a questioning look but Merlin gave a subtle shake of his head. He'd tell him later. 

"As it's no longer a problem, it isn't worth discussing. What about the floods?" 

"They've gone down, sire. The crops seem to have recovered and the villagers say the darkness that had been taking over the fields has disappeared." 

Arthur nodded. They went over a few more things before the meeting finished. To celebrate, Merlin, himself and the knights headed to the tavern.

Merlin had suggested a game.

Arthur shook the cup of dice, waving it in front of Merlin's face teasingly before pouring the dice onto the table. 

"Three!" Arthur exclaimed. They'd gathered a small audience who applauded and shouted. 

"Feel free to retire at any time," Arthur said, cocky as ever. 

"Likewise," Merlin replied. 

"There's no...uh...disgrace to lose to a king." Arthur's pompous smile was back. Merlin found it endearing. 

Percy's eyebrows knotted at the soppy look the two shared and swallowed the last of his drink.

Merlin cleared his throat. "Or a king to his Consort." 

Merlin dropped a handful of silver coins onto the plate, adding to the prize for whoever won, then picked up the cup and shook it, blowing on the dice for luck before throwing them onto the table. 

"Ten," Merlin claimed, triumphant.

The audience erupted into cheers and Arthur was stuck in disbelief as Merlin pocketed the cash prize, beaming as he did so. 

Arthur leaned over the table, close to Merlin's face. His eyes narrowed. "Did you cheat?" 

Merlin veered forward and Arthur's eyes flickered to his mouth as he spoke. 

"No, Arthur. I don't need magic to beat you at this." Gwaine sniggered, at Arthur's glance he turned his laughter into his drink. 

"Again," Arthur demanded, picking the cup up. "Twelve." 

Merlin coughed and Arthur rolled the dice, it revealed a four. 

"You put me off!" Arthur proclaimed. "You coughed." 

Percival glanced between them, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lip. 

Merlin's hand rested on his throat for a moment, to emphasise his point. "I was clearing my throat." 

"You coughed deliberately," Arthur accused. Merlin shook his head. 

"Of course you'd try and blame it on me." Merlin rolled his eyes. He picked up his coins stack by stack and placed them on the plate. He threw the last coin onto the plate.

Arthur's mouth quirked. "It's like that is it?" He slammed his hand down and swept his coins into his palm to drop them on the plate. 

Their gaze locked as Merlin's hand wrapped around the cup as he shook it. He blew on them, his mouth a wet oval, his eyes still on Arthur's. 

"Twelve," Merlin hedged and threw the dice. They both looked at the table.

It added up to twelve. 

"Whoo!" Merlin hollered as the tavern audience cheered for him yet again. Arthur was smiling too wide at Merlin's reaction to feel the sting of losing. 

They sat back down with the knights, Merlin paid for everyone's drinks with the money he'd won. 

"You're practically glowing," Elyan commented when Merlin took a seat. 

"Not literally," Leon added at Merlin's look of worry. 

They chattered amongst themselves like old times, Merlin's thigh was wedged against Arthur's as they all crowded around the too-small table. The noise of the tavern and the taste of alcohol lightened the atmosphere. 

Merlin and Arthur teetered back to their room, Arthur supported a tipsy Merlin as they walked down the corridor. 

"Why did you blush in the council meeting?" Arthur asked. 

Merlin giggled. All of Merlin's shyness disappeared with a drop of alcohol. He was an affectionate, giggly drunk. 

"The tree, the floods." Merlin's hand gestured dramatically. "All went away because we..." Merlin giggled again and dropped his voice to a whisper. "Because we uh, made the beast with two backs, did the service of venus, rode below the crupper. You know. Fucked. The cleansing ceremony was completed so Camelot is saved, whoo whoo."

"I can't believe you're this drunk considering how little you've actually drank," Arthur sighed. 

Merlin spent the next morning nursing a hangover, as were quite a few of the knights. Even Leon looked a little green. 

Gwaine somehow seemed chipper and perfectly functional. 

"No fair," Merlin moaned. "You had loads more than me." 

"Ah but Merlin dear, you're a complete light weight," Gwaine said, practically bouncing with energy. Merlin envied him.

"Still hungover, Merlin? You only had two and a half drinks," Arthur remarked. 

Merlin was sat down, he put his hand to his head. "Why are you talking so loudly?" 

Arthur laughed. 

"Aw." He cupped Merlin's head, though it turned more into a stroke. Gwaine made a mock noise of disgust and Arthur yanked his hand away, having forgotten that Gwaine was still in the room. 

"I'll leave you love birds to it," Gwaine said and took his leave. 

*************

They fell into a routine. Merlin would get up early and bring breakfast, if he wasn't up at a certain time the kitchens would send someone else to bring it. 

They'd lounge about and look after Ausra before going about their seperate ways to complete their duties and jobs for the day, though they mostly managed to stay by each other's sides anyway and then they'd have dinner together, hang about for a few hours enjoying their leisure time, then they'd get ready for bed- if they weren't already in bed- and the cycle would begin again. 

Merlin felt it was a much improved lifestyle to when he'd been just a servant and Arthur felt inclined to agree. 

Merlin rose early and managed to get some clothes on before he could be persuaded by Arthur's nimble fingers to stay in bed. Merlin was pulling his boots on as Arthur assessed his drab outfit with a frown. 

"The druids have been invited, as thanks for their warning. It'll be Camelot's first feast with them, they have agreed to sit at our table." 

Merlin looked at him, thoughts catching on _our_. 

"So I have arranged for the Royal Seamstress to make an outfit for you," Arthur informed him. 

"When did you do that?" Merlin asked. "And my clothes are fine." 

Arthur rolled his eyes. "A while ago and no, they are not." 

Arthur grabbed the collar of Merlin's jacket and dragged him over the bed for a kiss before he sent him on his way. Merlin left, begrudgingly, to collect the outfit. He was sure he would hate it. 

Merlin changed into it quickly, the seamstress cooing and complimenting. 

The sleeves were made from long silky material, black and sheer. They belled out then clinched at the wrists. A dark blue corset curled around his waist, it was detailed with symbols embroidered in black, markings of protection and strength had been stitched into it. Merlin realised how much care had gone into the garment. 

His legs were clad in rough, black pants. Thick black boots replaced his ratty brown ones. 

He was also given a cloak that fell to just above his thigh, it was the same dark blue as the corset. Almost unnoticeable, only highlighted by the light, was the Pendragon crest stitched in gold thread. 

When he got back to their chambers he found Arthur half dressed and idle. He'd managed to put on his shirt and had made an attempt to put on his chainmail by himself. It sat askew on him. Merlin sighed and moved closer to adjust it. 

Arthur saw him, saw the dark curls of his hair, saw the outfit he was wearing. He stood and looked Merlin up and down. 

"Wow, you look..." 

He advanced, took Merlin's hand and spun him so he could see the outfit properly. 

Merlin yanked his hand away. "I'm not a girl, you know." 

"Hmm. Oh, I know." 

Arthur's fingers were running over the corset as he walked Merlin backward until they hit the wall. Merlin's heart fluttered in his throat. 

His soft breath was a siren call, Arthur pushed Merlin into the cool stone, his lips hard on Merlin's. 

"Can't believe you put me in a corset," Merlin muttered against his mouth. 

"It's not a corset, Merlin," Arthur breathed. "Though I would love to see you in a dress." 

Merlin felt dizzy as Arthur's palm pressed against his ribs, pushing him into the wall as the other secured itself next to Merlin's head. 

"Don't you dare." Merlin tugged Arthur closer, making the kiss sloppy and dirty. Arthur groaned and submitted, tongue tracing the seam of Merlin's lips. 

Merlin's tongue clashed with his. Unbidden, his magic loosened the lacing on Arthur's shirt. "Ung. No. We can't be late," Merlin said, strained. He'd meant to push Arthur away but his fingers did the opposite, tugging him closer. "But I want-"

"Later," Arthur promised. "Later."

They shared one last, long kiss before pulling apart. Merlin adjusted Arthur's chain mail and redid the lacing he'd undone. 

Arthur leaned against the wall for a moment, still catching his breath. He turned to the mirror and watched his reflection as he tried to flatten his hair down from where Merlin had fisted it. 

Merlin put on the circlet that the druids had given him as a wedding present whilst Arthur sorted his own appearance out. 

"What's taking so long? You were never this slow before," Arthur complained. 

Merlin had been fiddling with something on the other side of the room. 

"We're officially welcoming and thanking the druids. The king must look kingly," Merlin so astutely pointed out. 

"What am I waiting for then?" Arthur bristled. 

"Have a little... patience." Merlin shifted, busy with whatever he was doing. "Think of something pleasant." 

"You in the stocks," Arthur smirked. He couldn't see it but Merlin blushed a little at that. 

"Wait..one..se-cond," Merlin said slowly. 

"One," Arthur turned away from the mirror and approached where Merlin was stood. Merlin snapped around to face him, hands behind his back. 

"What've you got there?" Arthur questioned, eyebrow raised as he gestured at whatever Merlin was making a poor attempt to hide. 

"Nothing," he said, a little too quickly for it to be true. Arthur took a step forward. Merlin swallowed. "My hand," he said, showing it. "My other hand." 

Arthur moved closer. He put a gentle hand on Merlin's forearm before twisting him around. 

Merlin's stomach fluttered as Arthur's breath traced the back of his neck, so light it was a feathers brush. Merlin's thighs were pressed into the table, his hands confined in one of Arthur's. 

Arthur took the belt he’d been hiding and let go of Merlin, looking at it in puzzlement. 

"Why are you putting another hole in this belt?" Arthur questioned, eyes slanted. 

"I was.. uh," Merlin stumbled. "Enhancing it." He nods at himself. "For more comfort." 

Seeing Arthur's displeased expression, he added "Ease and use." 

"Are you saying I'm fat?" Arthur queried. 

"No," Merlin rushed out. "I'm just saying that the belt is..." 

He hesitated and pursed his lips. "One hole shy of perfection," he said. 

Arthur looked at him. "I'll show you perfection." He took the belt and placed it around his waist. Struggling to hitch the clasp, he breathed in and gasped as he yanked it a little harder. Groaning with the strain, he gave up, a devastated look briefly muddling his features. 

Merlin watched with a smile that kept threatening to rise to the surface. "Don't be so hard on yourself, a little extra padding goes with the job," he said. "All the feasts and so on."

Arthur turned suddenly, his hip grazing Merlin's. He nearly jabbed Merlin's eye with a gloved finger as he said, "Not a word of this to anyone, understand?" 

Merlin moved his gaze from Arthur's pointed finger and tried to control his breathing which had gone deeper, slower. He swallowed then nodded. Arthur leaned forward a little, mouth glistening before turning his head away and shuffling back a little. 

Arthur exhaled heavily, gaze lingering as his eyes ran over Merlin once more, focusing on the druid crown adorning his head. 

"We should get to the hall," Arthur said roughly. Merlin bit back a grin. 

On the way there, they picked up Ausra. Merlin wanted the druids to meet her. She had learnt how to say small words, simple commands mostly; chicken, grapes, play, Merlin and Arthur Pendrakon. 

Ausra was perched on Arthur's shoulder, she was still light enough that it wasn't uncomfortable for him. 

The three of them were outside the closed doors of the Great Hall. Unseen on the other side were druids, council members and the knights of the round table who all awaited King Arthur and his Sorcerer Consort. 

"Are you ready?" Arthur asked. 

Merlin held his head high, the circlet glinted where it was nestled in his dark hair. 

Merlin nodded and grabbed his husband's offered arm. Magic and royalty side by side, at last. 

The doors opened.

FIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The celtic knot on Arthurs wedding ring represents eternity and is just a general nod to Merlin's magic.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
